Me and My Boys

Thanksgiving Prep

2011-11-22T07:05:00.005-05:00

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I love hosting our family here at the house for some delicious fried turkey and too many sides and desserts to count. It is really a team effort (my mom makes more then anyone...she "loves to cook!"), and it is always wonderful to spend time and catch up with dear friends and family. We are so blessed. Tomorrow night Mac and Colin will get the turkeys marinated and stuff....I don't like this part. I am usually busy setting up the table....my sweet spot. Here is a look at years past decor.

1. 2008 (sporting a tiny baby bump)

2. 2009 (my boy looks so little here)

3. 2010 (First T-giving on Woodwalk)

I have all the ingredients for my green beans and mashed potatoes lined up nice and neat on my counter. Colin has all the sauces and sav's for the turkey. The playroom is being cleared out to make room for tables, (too many toys). The tables will be delivered tomorrow, the final touches will be added tomorrow evening and we expect pple as early as 8 to start frying turkey's and eating fried twinkies....be sure you freeze them before dipping into the fryer (we learned the hard way).

Happy Thanksgiving friends!!

I am turning into my Nana

2011-11-10T07:17:00.006-05:00

This makes my Anal Annie heart smile.

To hang artwork in Camden's big boy room

Sleeping bag for Camden

For my bathroom counter and makeup storage

My Nana was the funniest Christmas/Birthday gift shopper ever. We never know what we were going to get. Mac had the best gifts ever.....a black lab toilet paper holder and a guitar glow sign. I find it funny that I received her catalog of choice yesterday in the mail, and found a few items I would LOVE for Christmas (hint, hint hubs). I am just carrying on the tradition to love Lillian Vernon Nana....

9 Years

2011-11-08T06:57:00.002-05:00

Happy Anniversary to my lovely hubs. I can't believe we have been married for 9 years! It still seems like yesterday that I was in my first year of teaching and Colin was finishing up college....yes, I am older (he calls me his couger). When I met Colin I knew that he was someone different. I knew that he had a big heart, he was sensitive and very in tune with my feelings. He walked through a time of healing for me, and he loved me, even when I wasn't very lovable. I am so thankful that God chose him to be my husband. My day to day life is spent laughing and on occasion crying at the crazy things he says and does.

We started our marriage off in Florida....12 hours away from everything I ever knew. I cried all the time. We made some great friends, found a church, and both had great jobs. After we signed a contract to build our first home in Florida....we got a call that brought us back to KY. I was so happy to be back with friends and family...but a part of me will always miss JAX. It was me and Colin against the world.....we had each other and every weekend was a new adventure. During that time we grew as a couple and learned how to lean on each other. We enjoyed and treasured all the visits many of you made during that time.

After two years of marriage we were back in the Bluegrass State. Bought our second home in Copperfield and both started great jobs. Colin back at Lexmark and me at SCC in the Children's Ministry. We both loved our jobs, but felt called to something different. So within the first year of returning home he started to work at Concrete Coring Company (with the intention of buying) and I went back to the classroom at The Lexington School. I LOVED working at my church, but missed having kids in my life.

Around our 4th year of marriage we decided that we would like to start a family. Looking back now at that journey I am so thankful to God for the gift of Camden. What a long hard time for Colin and me, with so many ups and downs....but with the outcome of being a mom and dad we will forever be thankful.

As husband and wife, mom and dad, I am so thankful for my best friend to walk through life with. Throughout the last 9 years I have never laughed so hard. Looking forward to 90+ more babe. I love you.

(When I get my camera fixed on my phone I will post a few pix of our wedding day, Colin looks 12)

Have I mentioned....

2011-11-07T15:56:00.004-05:00

...that I am listening to Christmas music? Word on the street that Mixmas is up and running, thank you 94.5. I just love this Holiday season. What makes it better are the cooler temps, sun, and beautiful colors on the leaves. This is a time of year where it is easy to find things to be thankful for. I have noticed that so many people are posting something they are thankful for each day. I love reading each post, and am reminded of our many blessings. I am afraid to start that daily thankful on FB because then I would feel like I had to keep up with it, and i might not do it, like my blog!

Have I mentioned.....that I am loving teaching again. I have the perfect work week. Monday, WEdnesday, and Friday 8-12...with my boy. Somedays are tough being both mommy and teacher, but it is so fun spending my days with him. I am starting to see how fast this time goes....and want to slow it down so bad. It seems like I had this just yesterday....

I realize I have myself a very handsome little guy.....enjoying every minute.

If I had only known.....

2011-11-06T18:47:00.005-05:00

Proud mom

Christmas 2009

Christmas 2008 (Best Grandparents....I have baby Cam in my belly)

As a new mom, (I know Camden is going to be 3 in April, but everyday is something new), I realize how hard it is to be a mom. If I had known how hard it was, I would have been so much nicer to my mom growing up. I remember things that I said and did to my mom growing up that were so incredibly hateful. I know that if Camden said and did the same things that I did, my heart would be completely broken. (I sit and think of these things as I rock Camden before bed at night....I have a few more random thoughts coming your way soon).

So mom, for the time....

....I said I hated you (how many times, I can't remember)

....I threw the precious baby cradle Grandaddy bought me

....I broke the phone

....I lied

....I disappointed you

....I didn't tell you I love you

....I ran away (with Daisy to the end of the street and freaked out)

....I didn't say thank you

....I didn't eat what you made me

....I didn't wear what you bought me

....I didn't follow directions

....I couldn't make up my mind

....I maybe got a little anxious

....I am sure I should apologize for future oops

(you owe me for the ankle incident)

....I am so sorry. You are so appreciated and LOVED. I value our relationship and am so thankful that God called you to be my mom. I adore you momma, and am sorry I don't say it enough.

I am so thankful that God called me to be Camden's mom, but I am also feel so inadequate to be a parent. I am trusting that God will equip me each day to teach and love my son.

Halloween Past Post

2011-11-05T09:02:00.007-04:00

Sock Monkey 2009

Elmo 2010

2011

Halloween was so much fun this year. It is so different with a little one who gets to dress up and collect candy (for mommy). There is nothing cuter then a tiny Curious George going door to door saying "Teet or Teet!" I took it upon myself this past week to look at past Halloween pix and I teared up. Our baby boy isn't a baby anymore....he is a little boy! I also realized that he has been a monkey two out of his three years. My friend Kendra gave me great advice right before our first Halloween. She told us to buy a Christmas ornament that represents our little guys costume each year. So now our tree will have a sock monkey, elmo, and I need to find Curious George. Such a great idea friend.

I am also full speed ahead planning our Thanksgiving. The tables are rented and I can already taste the turkey. I love this time spend with family and friends. I must admit that I have already started listening to Christmas music, well just one song right now. It was my favorite last year and it looks like it may be again this year. Winter Snow is amazing....check out the link to listen for yourself. Nobody does it like Amanda Carter....hoping that she sings it again at SCC this year.

Happy Halloween 2011

2011-11-02T09:06:00.014-04:00

Unattended candy bowl...he didn't know what to do!

(Camden as Curious George 2011)

We were that family that had all the glow sticks and such at 6 when it was still sunny.

Safety First!

Grandma and Grandaddy with their lil punkin

Stout Family 2011

Marilyn and Luigi

Luigi and Mario (next year I want to be a princess)

At TLS I was Mustard and Cam was sporting a sockless Curious George

Ketchup, Mustard, Curious George and Snow White

Camden LOVES Mrs. Platt (so do I)

So, I am home sick today....love my sweet 2's, but we keep passing stuff around. I know that this will eventually make me super immune woman! So I have some time to upload our Halloween pictures from this past weekend. We had a blast this year. This was Camden's first time Trick or Treating and he was hilarious. He would go to the door and say "Teet Teet" and then "thank you." We were so proud. The very first house we went to, they opened the door and he walked right in...it was hilarious. Check out the video below. Love that boy.

(This is Camden's first ever door to door Trick or Treat)

Happy Summer, I mean Halloween

2011-10-23T16:00:00.007-04:00

Well hello my friends. It has been a L O N G time since I last posted and I am so sorry. I just didn't feel like blogging. I would always have those thoughts about a new post, but felt like the entry would be forced. We have had an amazing summer and fall as a family. Celebrated weddings, babies, and are now looking forward to the Holidays. I can't believe Halloween is just a week a way. Camden will be sporting Curious George this year, although I think he would be better fit as a rock star. The boy can't get enough Sting, Earth Wind and Fire, or Chicago. He loves to play his guitar and make shift drumset (thanks Hunt for the real sticks). Colin and I are actually going to our very first couples Halloween party this weekend as ....Mario and Luigi. (Click on the link, then click on Mario and watch him dance, it is hilarious) He wanted our costumes to be funny, and that meant I had to dress up as a man. Really? Here is a picture of our costumes....jealous? ( I wanted to be Cinderella, Colin said I was his princess 365 days a year so I really wouldn't be dressing up...barf)

I promise to post pix with us in the costumes before 2012! Happy Fall Ya'll.

update and happenings

2011-07-18T07:59:00.014-04:00

So many people love baby Audrey and Whitney

Baxter Girls

Lots of love for baby Audrey

Blasted, yummy, delightful treats

You know I had to put one of Cam and Aunt Nene

Proud mom and Grandmas

She is a pro!

Baby Buddies....Stef and I are holding hands, that is normal, right?

My new little buddy

Nate, Stef and baby Lincoln, minus my favorite Jordan

Boy time while I stayed back to host Audrey's shower and visit Lincoln! Thanks Colin

I am officially down 4.6 pounds this week....I can't believe it because I did have a few tasty treats last week. We have been celebrating the upcoming arrival of Audrey Lane Baxter and the ARRIVAL of Lincoln Scott Head....big weekend (with treats). Another observation from this weekend...bulldogs can swim. Sampson may have jumped into the pool last night chasing after his black lab cousin Charlie. All was well, Colin directed him to the steps, and he didn't sink! There is a picture above of Sampson, Colin, and Camden in Winchester. They went back to where Sampson was born and saw his Mom Bailey, Dad Tank, and brother Wilson. There was also a fresh litter of bulldog pups!

Hope you enjoyed the pix. Have a great week..go eat a treat (in moderation)

Progress

2011-07-05T08:16:00.003-04:00

This is for my girl Shannon PRICE, not Justice....I can't ever get it right friend. I used the Lose It app on my iphone and after my first week am down.....2.4! I am so proud of myself, I exercised three days last week (2 swimming, 1 training), and really watched my calories. I notice that I really don't want to eat bad things because I don't want to use my calories up. The accountability of plugging calories into my phone is key for me. I also have been drinking TONS of water....only have a sweet tea once or twice a week, and an occasional rootbeer. I feel so much better and can just see myself in the bridesmaids dress hanging in my closet, hopefully with a few alterations.

Tips:
Get the Lose It app (once you eat a meal, it is saved in your phone and you don't have to plug it in again, you just select it from you foods)
Drink LOTS of water
Lots of fruit!
Exercise (also in the app...adds calories...really helped on the 4th of July)

My boy is awake...if I think of anymore I will post later...
Em

Growing Up

2011-06-30T07:49:00.007-04:00

A. Crib, also known as pommel horse...

B. Ghetto crib...because we didn't have a rail.

C. Big Boy bed with rail, smile, and a good nights sleep with NO pacifier!!

Well, last week we noticed Camden was using the side of his crib as a pommel horse...he had great form, but we were afraid he would become too top heavy and topple out of the crib(Picture A). So we made the executive decision to go from crib to big boy bed....sigh. It is hard to believe he is getting so big. Colin climbed up to our attic (and didn't fall through the ceiling) to get our crib conversion to toddler bed kit. Camden was hilarious "helping" daddy. Everything Colin would say, he would repeat. Camden had his Elmo drill and was very focused on putting the bed together. My kid is adorable! After getting the front of the crib off, we noticed that the rail we thought that came with the kit was missing....we went back up to the attic (again successfully not falling through), and came back empty handed. Hmmmm, why doesn't this have a rail? After all the built up excitement of a big boy bed, we simply turned the bed around so the front (rail-less side) was flush against the wall and he was still closed in, picture B. (the back of our crib is much higher then the front, so we only worried he would pommel horse off the sides). I immediately went to Target's website (who doesn't) and looked for toddler bed rails.....they only make ONE (that I could find). All rails are made for twin and full beds.....because most conversion kits come with a rail....oops. (Next time, well). So I ordered our $30 rail (not bad, and a cute rug for free shipping if you had an order of $50 or more), and it came in yesterday. Camden helped me put the rail together with his Elmo drill and screwdriver, and we waited until bedtime to turn his crib into an official big boy bed(Picture C). Camden was climbing in and out, and in and out, and in and out, and in and out....and we just knew it was going to be a L-O-N-G night. We got the mattress, three lovey's, two blankets, two pillows, and random dog back in the bed, read a book, prayed and rocked....laid him down....and waited. We waited for him to get out of the bed and play (I moved all his stuff up high). We waited for him to beat on the door (doorknob thingy on the door). We waited for something....and nothing. He feel asleep! Now I know this may just be luck on the first night, but I am so proud of our boy! He is also on night two without the pacifier...I know go big or go home right. Why not do everything at once? So my baby boy, is now a big boy. We keep telling him that, so I should start to believe it too, right?

I eat/ate too much

2011-06-29T15:58:00.003-04:00

I didn't realize how much and often I was eating until I started recording it. I don't know how many times in the last three days I have wanted to go to the pantry and snack on something. I justified it before that it was a small snack and didn't really matter because it wasnt a meal....I know, I am crazy. I have been so hungry the past few days, but I know that this will get easier, and I am eating better for sure. No blizzards, blasts, or butterfingers for me....eventually, I will let myself have a treat, as for now....I am being strong. It was good to pinpoint why I was eating and how much I was eating....even though I still want to EAT ALL THE TIME! I have also been drinking a TON of water....I mean a TON. Hoping that the water and better selections in the food department help me drop 15+ pounds....we shall see. Discipline, I can do this.

All my Fountains

2011-06-28T08:28:00.004-04:00

Cute picture of my boy playing in the "carwash"/fountains at mom and dad's pool

(You know I had to put a picture)

This song is on repeat at the Stout house....love the lyrics, reminds me of a sermon at church a few weeks back.

Chris Tomlin, All My Fountains song lyrics

This dry and desert land

I tell myself,

“Keep walking on”

Hear something up ahead

Water falling like a song

An everlasting stream

Your river carries me home

Let it flow, let if flow

A flood for my soul

A well that never will run dry

I've rambled on my own

Never believing I would find

An everlasting stream

Your river carries me home

Let it flow, let it flow

Open the heavens

Come Living Water

All my fountains are in You

You're strong like a river

Your love is running through

All my fountains are in You

Come on, and rain down on us

Rain down on us, Lord
J

ohn 4:13-14 Jesus said, "Everyone who drinks this water will get thirsty again and again. Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst—not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life."

Some Summer Favorites

2011-06-27T19:29:00.005-04:00

We have been swimming!
Going out to dinner

1. This past month my mother in law, Pam discovered through a routine colonoscopy that she had colon cancer. After surgery, recovery, and tests.....her reports have come back clear. Praise God! We love you Nana!!!

2. LOVE having my summer off, and spending it with my sweet little man. We have had so much fun. We take it easy in the morning, eat breakfast, watch a little KET, play guitar, then usually head out to the pool. So thankful for this time with Camden.

3. Weddings and babies.....we have two big weddings coming up this fall, but we are gearing up for these two special celebrations. My cousin is marrying his sweet girlfriend of 10+ years, and we LOVE her....it is going to be a wedding to remember....in St Louis. Camden is joining us and our sweet friend Jess is coming with us to help take care of him. Our other wedding is my childhood friend, J Ford....I get to be the maid of honor...and I am honored. We are going to Nashville this weekend to hang out with her, her awesome fiance, and U2...no big deal :) PLUS, I get to throw two showers (one baby, one wedding) in July...if you need invites or anything really artsy and cute contact my friend Shannon, she will hook you up!

Let's not forget babies....little Leighton and Brooks are here, baby Lincoln will be here soon, and my sweet baby niece AUDREY LANE will be here in October....I can't stop buying her stuff, girls are SO much fun and frilly.

4. Cozi.com is an amazing website that is helping coordinate the Stout family schedule! I love it....it is easy and FREE....seriously FREE...you must try it. It is compatible with apple and my cool kid old school pc.
Is your family schedule quackers?Let Cozi help. We’re so good at helping families get their ducks in a row that we decided to make it official. Cozi sets a Guinness World Record

5. Speaking of Apples, I sold my iPad, I am just not cool enough for that sweet piece of technology. I am just a cut and paste kind of girl...none of that apple, click....whatever. I think it is a great product, just not for me. I am happy that a really amazing woman got mine!!

6. Calorie Counter is an app I bought for my iphone (I am keeping that from Apple), and I am starting to keep track of my calories today. I want to lose 20 pounds by all the weddings....I wend over 52 calories today...and I could really eat this picture frame next to me right now. I may run up to the store and buy celery or carrot sticks just to have something....this will get easier. I just need to take charge of my diet....the way I eat stinks.

7 Passion: Here For You is a MUST have....I can't stop listening to it. I really think I can bust out Christy Knockels Waiting Here For You, but who can't. It is kind of like Alicia Keys....I can sing just like her. Seriously, if you are lead to worship through song....you have to get this.

8. Camden...oh wait, I already mentioned that....He is awesome.

9. Acorn class prep....I am swimming in stuff at my house for my new classroom and just itching to get into my room. Thankfully, they are doing renovations up at TLS so I can't go....or I would probably be there too much. Right now my room is FULL of boxes from my favorite K team, love you girls.

10. Hubs...my sweet hubby let me sleep in this weekend and cooked breakfast both Saturday and Sunday....he is a keeper. I love the picture of Camden and Colin above, somebody LOVES their daddy.

That is all I can think of right now....I know I am such a lucky girl.

Well hello friends

2011-06-06T07:43:00.002-04:00

Man, I just haven't been feeling the blog for a while. I don't know why, I just have not been motivated to sit down and write. I know when I first started it was an outlet for our infertility struggles and a place to write down the story of Camden. Recently, I just have felt empty. Not really able to put words together to place in the blog. Not a bad empty....just mute. Make sense? I don't want to force it, so I just have avoided it.

I have officially started my first summer as a teacher....meaning no work, and some sweet pool time with my boy. It has been a blast. We went to the Louisville Zoo a few weeks ago with a great group of girls. It was so much fun watching Camden. He loved all the animals, especially the penguins. He didn't know what to do with his excitement....he clapped and squeeled. I loved it! I do have a few videos....and pix, I should post those :)

Tomorrow we are going to Salato in Frankfort. I don't really know what to expect animal wise, we have just heard some good things about it. Packing our lunch and going exploring.

Our little guy has turned into quite the fish. He LOVES the pool. He sits on the "beps" (steps) and will jump into the open water. He wears water wings, but still loves to try and dunk his head. he loves the fountains on the side of the pool, and always asks to go "up high." He is putting more and more words together, although I believe he speaks fluent chinese. I don't know what he is saying half of the time....but I love it!

He is running, swinging, and falling. He is going to be one of those boys that has a knot on his head and two skinned knees all summer. He is adventurous and brave. He is the best....can you tell I really like him? We keep talking about school next year, and I ask him if he wants mommy to be his teacher, and he does say yes. We shall see how that goes this fall. Thankful for my teach teacher Flora....she is going to help with the mom/teacher duel roll.

I guess that is it for now.....hopefully I will be back in less then two weeks.

Mother's Day Pictures

2011-05-22T07:55:00.007-04:00

I think my boys are adorable....such a lucky mom

This is sweet Baby Baxter....we find out Thursday what "he/she" is. I think GIRL!

I couldn't decide which family picture was better....Mac and Dad seem to forget to smile

I love my dad, he seems to have the "Chandler" picture taking issue.

I love them both....yeah for the Baxter/Stout Family
my two favorites.....love these boys

So, this post is proof on how far behind I am in my blog. I just haven't been motivated to write anything lately...I am so sorry to all four readers. So, instead of elaborating on how I have nothing to write about, I decided to share some sweet pix from Mother's Day this year. Enjoy...

Happy Birthday Camden...Elmo Stlye

2011-04-18T14:09:00.008-04:00

Well, we made it! We threw a birthday party for Camden with a heavy emphasis on ELMO! I have posted all my pictures on Facebook for the fun day. These are a few snapshots of our sweet boy living it up. I am so thankful for all of our friends and family who came out to celebrate with us. I think that I was so focused on getting a list of who bought Camden what for thank you's that I forgot to thank people....I am an idiot. So, thank you, thank you, thank you. I owe you some posts too. So sorry I have been MIA for the last two weeks.

My soon to be 2 year old....

Cricut decor

Cupcakes and oreo pops He knew exactly what to do.....

He LOVES cupcakes!

Blue-ston or Bust

2011-04-01T11:34:00.002-04:00

Well, we are heading to Houston....GO BIG BLUE! Promise to cheer and take lots of pix.... Em

To Go, or Not to Go

2011-03-31T08:25:00.001-04:00

Last night before home groups Colin got a call from one of his buddies at work. His buddy had two tickets to the NCAA Finals!!! He and his wife aren't able to go, so he wanted to give them to us, what??!!??!!?? We were on cloud nine until we started talking about how to bet to BLUE-ston. (Houston), thanks Em Ryan.

We were on the Internet for a while looking for the best deal. We looked out of Nashville, Cincy, Lousville, etc. We looked at driving the 16 hrs. We are fortunate to have one of Colin's aunts in Houston, so we scored a place to stay. This was coming together right?

Do you realize how expensive flights are? Oh my word, driving would mean taking more time off work for Colin, so that really wasn't an option. So thats where we are today, trying to find a good deal on a flight to the tournament. We feel confident we will be in that final game, BUT what if we pay for that flight to watch a non Kentucky team play. Gosh. What would you do??

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Eucharisteo-Thanksgiving

2011-03-30T07:43:00.005-04:00

My bible study is currently reading Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts~A Dare to LIVE FULLY Right Where You Are. I highly reccomend the book....just push through the first chapter, it is tough. She is such an eloquent writer, sometimes very wordy....I am a simple girl, but I do appreciate her ability to paint a picture with each word. Maybe I am just jealous. The concept of the book is "wherever you are, be ALL there." Some of my favorite quotes from her book so far (Chapters 1-4) are:

"I only live the full life when I live FULLY in the moment"

"With each passing minute, each passing year, there's this deepening awareness that I am filling, gaining time. We stand on the brink of eternity."

"In naming that which is right before me, that which I'd otherwise miss, the invisitble becomes visible."

"God is in the details; God is in the moment. God is in all that blurs by in life--even hurts in a life."

So yesterday, I took time, I slowed down and I listened. I watched. I took time to see. I don't think that it was a mistake that the night before I felt sooooo rushed. When I looked up, and took time, I saw a little miracle eating dinner all by himself. My heart hurt, I felt like Martha rushing around and missing the most important person in the room at that moment. My son. So, I stopped, I took a seat and I ate. Even now, tears are burning in the back of my eyes, but I am thankful that I am aware of this need to slow down and see each moment as a gift. Today is all we have...this minute is it. Colin prays each night for our family and thanks God for this moment, this day, because it is all we have. He prays that we live fully in these beautiful moments. So back to yesterday, I sat at my table with my awesome new journal from Leigh...and I wrote out prayers of thanksgiving...72 of them, just like that. I am unlearning the business of life, and learning the minute to minute way to live life.

"Our very living is associate with our gratitude"

"To name a thing is to manifest the meaning and value God gave it."

The very act of naming these things is worship.

"God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given; JOY."

1. Unexpected gifts 3. Sun rays peaking out first thing in the morning 5. Sweet tea 6. a positive pregnancy test 8. Laying on the beach and listening to the ocean and smelling the salt water 13. Camden's belly laugh (only daddy can get) 15. Handwritten notes 18. Rocking my sweet baby boy and smelling his baby shampoo 23. Pajama pants and a big ol KY sweatshirt 29. CS Lewis song 32. Learning that I am cherished, loved, and a child of God (daily) 35. driving with my windows down and my radio loud 42. fresh flowers 53. sitting by the fire pit outside and seeing all the stars on a clear night 56. thunderstorms on lazy days 61. Seeing birds and being reminded not to worry

These are just a few....what are you thankful for?

Little Elks

2011-03-25T14:59:00.001-04:00

So I had my second experience with consignment shopping yesterday. I am all about Craigslist, garage sales and finding the best deal, but these church consignment sales are exhausting. I am in no way perfect, so please don't take these comments personally, these are my opinion only.

1. I think that the sale should be renamed Little Hoarders. Have you ever noticed that women and men go through the racks and racks of clothes grabbing almost everything they think they want. They take their three laundry baskets of clothes, find a corner and make piles of what they do and don't want. They don't want to leave what they think they want on the rack because by the time they decide they want it, it might be snatched. I'm not kidding every corner, stage, stairwell, and bathroom is taken over by the hoarders. Baskets and piles of they want me, they want me nots.

2. Please don't sit on the floor between the racks of clothes. You already have three laundry baskets I have to navigate over, adding a body is a tripping hazard. Plus with about two feet between each rack, we are already invading some serious personal space.

3. Do people seriously buy used kids underwear? You know drawers that small were used for potty training right?

4. I love to be around people, but for some reason Little Hoarders overwhelms me. I always walk out with one, maybe two things. I am well aware of the amazing deals offered on the gently used clothing and baby items. I just get so hot and sweaty feeling bad that I don't have the patience to invest any time in digging for deals. So yesterday as I waited in line to pay for $2 camo shoes and $10 for a swing, I felt embarrassed that I didn't have piles and piles of items. Lots of comments like "oh I feel bad, you have to wait for two items!"

5. I loved who I got to stand in line with for the hour. A sweet couple who knew my friend Dr Akin, and are expecting Twins! It was so cool to hear their story and talk about our experiences. So, I am thankful for Little Lambs/Elks/Hoarders and will most likely go back.

6. Pardon my rants and inability to write funnily.
Em

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Acorns Tutorial

2011-03-23T20:04:00.003-04:00

I am posting this tutorial for my blogger friend Amber. I never thought to post a step by step on how I made my little sign. Next time I will take pictures, and after taking the pictures do my best to post those on my blog along with the steps. I am not good at doing both pictures and steps...I still need to do my post on the cute cupcake ice cream cones from St Patrick's Day. (sorry).

So....my sign. This was my inspiration....the one that says Jack
1. I bought a canvas from Hobby Lobby (I wish I could tell you the size, rectangle...I am in my room right now since we are hosting a high school ministry home group...it was $8)
2. I painted my canvas with a light coat of white paint (left over from our trip work in the dining room)
3. I let the white dry for a few hours then took out my ruler. I measured two inches from the outside of the canvas and created the rectangle in the middle...where the acorns is written. I bought a dark brown paint at Walmart and used a thin paintbrush to outline the rectangle.
4. I drew my circles next and used a paint we have in our living room to fill those in. I then walked away from my are project for few hours. I didn't like how the circles were flat and didn't "pop" off the canvas. So I took a nap :)
5. After my beauty rest I decided to take the dark brown and white and mix them together to add the depth to the circles....and I also mixed up the plain white rectangle.
6. Now my piece of work was ready for the Cricut to work its magic. I decided to use the 3" lettering, on dark brown cardstock. I typed in acorns and hit cut. It is that easy....I had my letters...again, I needed more, more depth. So I found a dark green cardstock and "shadowed" my previous cut. You may not be able to see the shadow in the picture in my previous post.
7. Finally, while at Hobby Lobby I decided the edges of the canvas needed some love, so I found that oh so cute brown and white polka dot ribbon and glued it on. I also found the amazing little tree I glued onto the canvas. As they say out of the acorn grows the mighty oak...I am so happy that I get to be a tiny part of their life.

I hope that this makes sense without all the pix...it may be confusing. My next project is the family rules. I want to make this and put it on my mantel. I am thinking less pastel...but this is so cute. What would you put on your family rules canvas..... Here is what I am thinking.

Love God, Love People

Say Your Prayers

Be Thankful

Work Hard

Always Tell the Truth

Don't Whine

Use Kind Words

Say Please and Thank You

laugh~giggle~be silly

Be Proud of Yourself

Then if I am feeling really crazy, I may jump on the classroom rules canvas....I would hang this behind my desk.

Gosh, this is a really long post, I can't tell you how good it feels to work on these projects and to have down time to make these creations. I turn on my Tomlin Pandora and just go nuts.

Project

2011-03-23T14:02:00.001-04:00

So I got all sorts of crazy and bought a Cricut. I justified this purchase because I want to create adorable items for my new classroom. After my first creation, I realize I want to add some new decor to my house too. I have so many ideas floating around. So below is what will hang on the door to my new classroom. It will welcome all my sweet Acorns each morning.

My next project is for Camden's 2nd birthday party. I want to make something cute and simple to add to his Elmo themed party. I found these on a website featuring an Elmo party. Warning, do not become obsessed in researching other kids parties, people go crazy! I'm talking, CRAZY! They are very talented, but seem to have more time then me. So, I am going to make these cute Elmo Oreo snacks. Simple. Dip the oreo in white chocolate dyed red. Use sixlets for eyes, orange jelly bean for a nose, and milk chocolate melts cut in half for the mouth. They look cute, and I know an ore coated in more chocolate can't be terrible.

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Story...

2011-03-13T15:25:00.004-04:00

I should add, there will be one more baby here this summer....Sweet baby boy Head, we can't wait to meet you.

This is when we used to meet for lunch and talk....now we rotate houses and take care of our babies.

So this is what I got to share last Thursday at MUMs. So thankful for the invite to come back to that wonderful group of women. Tomorrow, I am planning on sharing a post about Cupcake Cones....complete with pix. They aren't the prettiest, and I won't know how yummy they are (no sweets until Easter), but Colin said they tasted great!

As Kylene said, my name is Emily Stout. I am the proud mom of Camden Stout, and no, my husband isn’t an international model, but he is pretty awesome.
I have known I was going to be here for about 6 weeks. I have prayed about what God wants me to speak on, and just really asked Him to use me and my story for His glory. I want to take you back five years ago when Colin and decided to start trying to have children. You need to know that my personality is wired so that I plan….I struggle with letting God lead. I like control, and I like to know what is next….pretty much the opposite of what faith is. So, after being married close to five years, my plan was to be a mom. Little did I know that this was something I had absolutely NO control over, and would be one of the most painful times in my life. I had to keep reminding myself of God’s truth.

Romans 8:28 (New Living Translation)
28 And we know that God causes everything to work together[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Colin and I would go to appointment after appointment, ultrasound after ultrasound, procedure after procedure and come out broken hearted because we were not pregnant. We are blessed to have an amazing Christian doctor who would pray over us, speak scripture over us and remind us each time God was the opener and closer of the womb. After a year and half and three IUI’s coupled with clomid (which is from the Devil)…we were referred to specialist. At this point, I decided to start blogging about our story and I found two women who were also battling infertility. We started meeting in public places and I remember our first meeting at Panera, knowing we would have to meet somewhere less public because of the tears. It was so comforting to be with friends, women who knew how hard it was every month to start your period….and would help me see the hope in the situation. Our question before leaving would always be “what’s the hope, the next step?” They helped me see the hope…..one of my favorite quotes is below…

We absolutely need God, and we also need each other in order to live a free and productive life

We met with our specialist and he told us that we have a 1/500 chance in getting pregnant on our own, and that IVF would be our best chance of ever conceiving. We took a few weeks to pray, seek wise counsel, and talk through the expenses. (Share story of Nana in Hospice thinking I was preggers…and then she ultimately paid for Camden).
IVF is such a gift, and through the process we ended up with our precious son, Camden and three precious embryos to freeze (Chilly, Willy, & Lilly). Camden will be two in April, and we always knew we would want to have a sibling or three close in age. This past fall we decided to do our FET (frozen embryo transplant)….tell story about calling specialist for frozen babies…and instead of blogging through this adventure to only tell a few people and surprise our family and friends. I started patches and progesterone in late November and implanted two sweet embryos in mid-December, one little baby didn’t make it (Chilly). For the next ten days I struggled with the possible change of adding another baby to our family…again I like control, not a big fan of change, and couldn’t imagine how I could love another child as much as I loved Camden. On December 22nd I took a home test and saw two lines, at the moment I saw those two lines, I was in love. I knew I could love another child….and God showed me I really did want another child. On December 23rd, I went into the lab to have bloodwork done and to confirm my pregnancy with Stout #2. I was convinced it was a girl and had named her Evelyn Rose after my Grandmother (I told you I was a planner)….I called the specialist later that afternoon and the nurse told me to come in the Monday after Christmas to redo my bloodwork since my count was low. At this point, I wasn’t concerned at all. I just knew we had hit the ball out of the park when we did IVF with Camden and that there was no way this time wouldn’t work. So, for Christmas we made ornaments for our family that said “Big Brother.” We videotaped everyones reactions and celebrated this sweet new life. It was so fun surprising everybody this time around. On Monday, I went back to have blood drawn and then decided to grab breakfast with my mom, dad, SIL, and Camden at Cracker Barrel. Unfortunately before being seated I got a call from the nurse and she told me that we had lost the baby. I didn’t know what to think, I felt guilty for fearing change, and ultimately another child. I sat down in the middle of Cracker Barrel and just cried. I went to the car and called my husband, went back into the restaurant to tell my mom and dad and then drove to my friend Nakada’s house. My mom and dad were so sweet to keep Camden over the afternoon so that I could have some time. I wrote the following the week I lost the baby…

I don't know where to start with the post....I am so thankful for IVF, to me it gave me one of the best gifts I have ever had. So, I guess when we went in for round two, I got cocky, I knew it would work. It had to, we knocked it out of the park the first time with our little guy. We had three embryos, that I just knew would give us another child. Since yesterdays phone call I have gone through so many emotions....sadness, guilt, relief, confusion, and anger. I am so sad, because according to Dr's, Colin and can't get pregnant on our own. Now I believe in God and know He can work miracles...but for now I am sad because medically speaking, this just wont happen for us. I am guilty because I really didn't want to go back for those little embryos. I dreaded the thought of pregnancy and change. I feel terrible now knowing that I dreaded those three little guys, and now they won't be. I am a little bit relieved for the fact that I don't have to worry about another pregnancy with bedrest, I am content with my sweet boy. I am relieved that I won't have another 3-6 months of sleepless nights, or change. I am confused, because as I write why I am relieved, I still have a small desire for sleepless nights, and a sweet baby who lays on your chest with their legs wrapped up under their butt. How can I want both things in the same breath? I am finding myself with a twinge of anger....just mad. Don't know why, I just am mad. Then I cry, I hate crying. The gift of IVF has me forever grateful. I get to wake up with a spunky 20 month old and watch Elmo, play in the snow, eat frozen waffles, and dance. IVF is also tricky because you know SOOOO much sooner that you are pregnant. I knew within days of implanting the embryos that I was pregnant. If Colin and I had conceived on our own, we probably never would have known that I was pregnant for those two days, and I wouldn't be brokenhearted. I am thankful that God has those sweet little embryos and He sees the bigger picture. Although we were just a few weeks along, I still believe I will see those sweet babies one day. Thank you God for staying close.

Isaiah 41:5-10
You are my servant, I have chosen you and not rejected you. Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with MY righteous right hand.

Soon after losing our baby, I found myself in a staff meeting here at church. We were given the opportunity to pray and encourage one another. My friend Brandon came to me and gave me these words….

“There are future blessings in store” a word of encouragement and of expectation – that you can get excited and expectant for the future – God’s moving and planning to bless in the future!The Scripture I got was: 1 Corinthians 5:7b-8: Christ, our Passover Lamb, has been sacrificed for us.8 So let us celebrate the festival, not with the old bread of wickedness and evil, but with the new bread of sincerity and truth.

Between tears I felt like telling God really? Really? Blessings, what does that mean? Pregnancy, that’s it, it has to be I will get pregnant. Then I was reminded that God is in control and He probably had different plans then mine and I needed to let go…..I needed to heal, and no know matter where I am He loves me, and can carry me through. I left that meeting with HOPE, I left knowing that His ways are higher and better than anything I could ask or imagine.
A few weeks passed and I still found myself incomplete. I didn’t know how to act, I didn’t know what to say. I found myself extra anxious about myself and Camden. I wanted to create a hedge of protection around Camden, I couldn’t bare the thought of losing him. Then I was reminded of God’s word…and I still have to claim this daily.

Philippians 4:6-7 (New International Version, ©2011)
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

Well, I think I figured out my blessing…..God has called me back to the classroom. He has given me 10 two year olds next year (including my own Camden) to teach, love, and nurture. I have been blessed my friends…..I have been called to love and that is what I plan on doing. They may not be my own, but I will treat them as my own. God has given me responsibility to be Jesus in their little lives. I still worry, I still have questions, and I am still sad. However I know two things for sure….

God is the same today as He was yesterday….and He loves me as His precious child.

I can’t worry about things I can’t control, I need to embrace each day that He has given me. Take every opportunity to love others as He loves me.
I found this poem in a book I am reading and thought it would be a great way to conclude this part of my story.

Today
There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is Yesterday with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.
The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow with its possible adversaries, its burdens, its large promise and poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow’s sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds…but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
This leaves only one day…Today. Any man can fight battles of just one day, it is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities…Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down.
It is not the experience of Today that drives men mad…it is remorse or bitterness for something that happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.
-Author Unknown

Thanks for listening to me, and please know I would love to pray are chat with you all. I can give you my email if you have questions.

Habakkuk 1:5 (New Living Translation)
The Lord’s Reply
5 The Lord replied,“Look around at the nations;

look and be amazed![

For I am doing something in your own day,

something you wouldn’t believe

even if someone told you about it

When I look at the two pictures above, I see this scripture come to life.

Are you Listening?

2011-03-07T14:51:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I feel like I am not being heard. I feel like I pour my heart out to God, and He just isn't there. I feel like I am screaming and screaming and the only thing I hear is my own echo. Today, I was reminded that maybe I need to be the one listening...maybe I need to stop screaming and sit and listen. I am not cool with that, that is really uncomfortable to me. However, I find if I take the time to STOP and LISTEN, He is there and He will speak to my spirit. I am gearing up to speak to MUMS this Thursday....and I can't wait. I have known about this for 6+ weeks and just feel like God has told me over and over, just share your story. Really? My story? The one where I have a hard time trusting you, and have been brokenhearted. I feel like God is saying....Yes, that one, the one where you leaned on me, your marriage grew stronger, and I held you in my arms while you healed. So, would you please pray that God use me to tell His story on Thursday. I am not a public speaker at all....at all. I am excited to see what God has to share, and thrilled that He has given me songs, scripture, and passages from a few books already....although I know He is ultimately calling me to share my story. Yikes!
Em
Got to go listen.....

Spring?

2011-02-28T15:18:00.001-05:00

I have enjoyed waking up over the past few days hearing what I call the spring birds. They start chirping around 6 and I love waking up to their songs. They make me smile because they remind me that God is in control. A scripture that I enjoy reading and reminding myself is....

Matthew 6:26
26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

I hope that this scripture reminds you that you are cared for, and more importantly loved. Tomorrow when you wake up, listen for those sweet birds and let their song be a reminder that God is in control of your day and you are His.

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Deep Breath

2011-02-24T19:34:00.001-05:00

Well friends, I have had a very long few days, but I am happy to report I did get a call from my Dr and all the cells aspirated were cancer free!!!! Praise God. I am so thankful for the news, but through this situation I have realized my deep fear of death and just how long I have been dealing with this fear.

I believe it is time to face this fear of death head on. So, for tonight I am going to celebrate and thank God. Soon I will tell you how I feel God is teaching me to overcome fear.

Thanks for praying.
Em

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Faith over fear

2011-02-22T13:04:00.001-05:00

Late January I went to my doctor for my yearly appointment. We talked about the weather, Christmas, and all the other fun stuff you discuss to avoid what is really happening. During an exam my Dr found a small lump in my left breast. He told me to come back in five weeks and not to worry and he was not concerned. Fast forward to yesterday and my follow up appointment. Dr found the same bump, and was pleased it hadn't grown, but felt we needed to investigate further. He took the time to numb me up and aspirated the lump. (I have no idea what I am saying). That was not a fun process. The next step was to schedule a mammogram and ultrasound. Thankfully they could get me in the following morning for both....I was thinking great I will have an answer soon. Unfortunately when the tech went to do the ultrasound this morning there was too much bruising from the procedure yesterday that they couldn't give me a 100% answer about this lump. The mammogram was clear, and the Dr encouraged me by saying if were her ultrasound she wouldn't be concerned. I think I freaked her out when I started to cry. She said that I needed to come back in a month for another ultrasound that my body needed time to heal. She also told me to bring in the lab work from my original appointment. The Dr and tech were wonderful and I felt very comfortable as they were manipulating my body. I mean seriously....at least we were on a first name basis.

What I am learning through this is that God is constant. He is the same in every situation and He will not leave me. I know that all the scripture I read, every song I sing, and every prayer I say is heard. My prayer is that this is nothing, but as I walk through the next few days waiting for test results I will have no doubt God is with me. I want to live with faith not fear.

In my life, be lifted high
In my world, be lifted high
In my love, be lifted high

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LoVe

2011-02-19T12:57:00.003-05:00

Who couldn't love a face like that (drool and all)

I have been hearing on the radio over the last few months about a word that you want to committ to for 2011. As you can see, this was a challenge that came out in early January, to start the new year, but it has taken me a few weeks to confirm my word for 2011. I am happy to report that my word is....

LoVe

I feel like this word has been brought to my attention by friends, the bible, and I really believe that this is the word the Holy Spirit has been whispering to me. I feel called to love in so many ways. I get to love my family. I am such a lucky girl when it comes to the people that live under the same roof as me. God has blessed me with an amazing husband and a wonderful son. We are so blessed to have the gift of Camden, and I pray each day that I can love him and guide him in the ways that Jesus has taught me. I pray each day that I am leading him in the ways that God wants him to go, not the ways that I want him to go. It is hard to let go daily to the fact that he is ultimately God's child and I have just been entrusted to his care here on earth. That is a lot of responsibility.

I get to love my friends. This girl is lucky when it comes to great friends. I have people that speak truth (not always easy) to me. They guide, encourage, and love me where I am and for who I am. They also don't want me to stay the person I am today....they want me to grow in my faith and they want me to overcome my fears. I can't tell you what it means to have friends who will pray and encourage you with scripture.

I get to love my job(s)....you know my heart is full when it comes to my current job at Southland. I get to go in three times a week and when I leave it is hard to wipe the smile off my face. I leave filled up. I enjoy work, and I so enjoy the people I get to work with. I am also looking forward to my new adventure in the fall. I know what I am getting into with the Preschool team, and trust me, it is like family. This is a group of women who will do anything for anyone....they have huge hearts and I LOVE that I am being called back to TLS. I also get to love my sweet Acorn class...more specifically ten spunky two year olds, including my own little guy. I want the focus of my classroom to be love. I want those sweet kiddos to come in each day to a warm hug, and leave the same way. My dream is to instill a love for learning and school. I want to have fun, but I want those tots to feel loved.

I think that I am ready to pour out love on others because of the love that I know is poured out on me by Jesus.

Epesians 2:4-5

"But God is so rich in mercy, and he LOVED us so much, that even though we are dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead."

Thank you Jesus....I can't imagine that sacrifice now as a mom.

Psalm 91

1 You who sit down in the High God’s presence, spend the night in Shaddai’s shadow,2 Say this: “God, you’re my refuge. I trust in you and I’m safe!”3 That’s right—he rescues you from hidden traps, shields you from deadly hazards.4 His huge outstretched arms protect you— under them you’re perfectly safe; his arms fend off all harm.5 Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night, not flying arrows in the day,6 Not disease that prowls through the darkness, not disaster that erupts at high noon.7 Even though others succumb all around, drop like flies right and left, no harm will even graze you.8 You’ll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance, watch the wicked turn into corpses.9 Yes, because God’s your refuge, the High God your very own home,10 Evil can’t get close to you, harm can’t get through the door.11 He ordered his angels to guard you wherever you go.12 If you stumble, they’ll catch you; their job is to keep you from falling.13 You’ll walk unharmed among lions and snakes, and kick young lions and serpents from the path.14 “If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God, “I’ll get you out of any trouble. I’ll give you the best of care if you’ll only get to know and trust me.15 Call me and I’ll answer, be at your side in bad times; I’ll rescue you, then throw you a party.16 I’ll give you a long life, give you a long drink of salvation!”

Psalm 91 is a reminder to me of God being my refuge...he will keep me safe, and he ultimately LOVES me. I hope that this is a reminder of who you are and that most of all, you are LoVeD.

Excitement

2011-02-17T13:57:00.002-05:00

Excitement might be an understatement as I think about this new job. I didn't think I would get back into the classroom this soon, but since I get to take my boy with me....I am rearing and ready to go. I have bought my planbook....dated it, put in our breaks, and have a rough idea of our themes for next year. I have been on Amazon looking at different board books to share with my kids, I have bought some border for my bulletin boards, and yes I am dusting off all my M&M stuff to make their appearance again (I didn't realize I had four blow up ones...Nakada may want to borrow one). I have sketched out where I think furniture will go, what my bulletin boards will look like and started (maybe completed) my orders. I AM CRAZY! I am just itching to get into that room and make it Acorn ready....that is the name of the class....Acorns. Along with the excitement comes some nervousness....like; 10 two year olds, diapers, 3 hours of 10 two year olds, and did I mention they were two? I have been spending some quality time with my favorite two year old lately, and he give me hope in my future career.

As for now, I still get to work at SCC until the end of May. I love that job, and honestly the only con when exploring this new opportunity was leaving SCC. It is a place where I leave filled up and with a smile on my face. I love the people and believe in the mission. I have been so lucky to work there. I will always be around SCC too, I will continue to volunteer and attend, so they can't get rid of me! What a lucky girl I am to have such great opportunities and blessings.

Change

2011-02-14T14:01:00.001-05:00

This could be a really long post. I don't know, what I do know is that it has been way too long.

So much has happened over the past few weeks and it has happened FAST.

It all started at our January staff meeting when a friend of mine came to pray with me. He encouraged me through God's word, during a really sad time for me. I still struggle today with comprehending I lost a baby, and I don't think I have accepted the word miscarriage, but I do believe that through the sadness God will make me stronger. Below is what was said to me. I heard those words with tears streaming down my face, knowing that the only blessing I thought would replace our loss would be a baby, and we all know what statistics say about our chances.

The Word I heard was: “There are future blessings in store” a word of encouragement and of expectation – that you can get excited and expectant for the future – God’s moving and planning to bless in the future!

The Scripture I got was: 1 Corinthians 5:7b-8: Christ, our Passover Lamb, has been sacrificed for us.8 So let us celebrate the festival, not with the old bread of wickedness and evil, but with the new bread of sincerity and truth.

So I left our January staff meeting with expectation and peace in my heart that God does love me and He does hear my cries. I told Colin about my conversation and have saved it in my inbox so I can read and be reminded of His love daily.

Fast forward to Friday, February 28th. While working at SCC I received an email from my preschool director at The Lexington School inquiring about a new program they are starting next fall for twos. Donna said some really amazing things about my teaching and then asked if I would be interested in coming back to teach this program. It will be Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 8-12 AND Camden can be a part of the class. I immediately forwarded the email to Colin, who said we needed to explore this opportunity further and I should meet with Donna. So that afternoon, I went to discuss the details with Donna. The rest of that weekend Colin and I dreamed about my current job and the new opportunity and which would be best for our family. I also prayed, a lot! I really want to be sure I am following God's lead and doing what He wants and not what I want.

I have had numerous meetings with Donna and it looks like I am going to be back in the classroom next Fall. I know that teaching will provide me with more time with my boy, and provide him an amazing education thru Kindergarten with my friends at TLS. So, what I can say is God has blessed me, He has given me 10 two year olds to love and nurture, including my son. I can say that I am so sad to leave SCC, but know I will still be around by serving. I will miss my friends that I get to see throughout the week, and am do thankful for those friendships, but believe in all my heart that God is calling me back to the classroom. So I need to get used to hearing Mrs. stout again, mixed in with some mom!!!

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Truth

2011-01-31T14:19:00.002-05:00

I ran accross these scriptures the other day in my journal....it was a post from Christ in Youth 2006. I always love how God's words are reassuring during anytime of your life....truth.

Ephesians 1:11
"In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will"

Ephesians2:8-10
"For it is by grace you have been saved, though faith~and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God~not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do"

The above two scriptures reassure me that it is not about me or my plans. GOD has a purpose and a plan and it is for me...Emily. He knows what doors to open and shut, and He guides me, as long as I listen and am obedient through this life. He has prepared a way for me....He has saved me through grace and I am his workmanship. I am his.

Ephesians 2:13
"But now in Christ Jesus you who were once far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ"

Ephesians 4:1-2
"I urge you (Paul) to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble, and gently,be patient, bearing with one another in love."

I am hoping that these words encourage you...that no matter where you are right now, God has gone ahead of you. To trust in his timing and his plans....they are far better then anything we could dream up ourselves.

Bargaining

2011-01-24T13:26:00.002-05:00

Upon reading through my book "Let Go" for work, I stumbled upon the following...

"Usually we want to drive a bargain with God (in regards to suffering). We would at least like to suggest some limits so that we can see an end to our own sufferings. We don't realize how we are thwarting the purposes of God when we take this attitude. Because the stubborn clinging to life which makes the cross necessary in the first place, also tends us to reject that cross--at least in part. So we have to go cover the same ground again and again."

Guilty! Beth Moore joked around last week at bible study (sounds like she was there), and said everyone prays that nothing bad happens to them, family, or anyone they know...but that isn't reality. Suffering is part of life....part of life that Jesus said would happen. We will have trouble, but it is how we react when suffering that people notice. I think that when I am suffering, I have a better relationship with Christ then when life is going well. I tend to cling to Him when times are hard, and then simply acknowlege him when life is good. I am not saying that I want to suffer (and the anxious person inside of me is saying you are asking for it), I am just saying I want a consistent relationship with God. I want to rely on him in good and bad. I want to listen and hear from him all the time. The person keeping me from that consistent relationship is me....I am too busy to take time, until I am thrown into a time of suffering, ect....

So my prayer today is that I can sit and listen to him. That I can hear from him. That I can rely on him, and praise him. All in all...I am so glad for HIM! What would I do without that relationship...even when I tend to make it 20-80 most of the time. Grateful for His grace. I want to stop bargaining with him....I just want to trust him knowing that no matter what...He is.

Projects and Pix

2011-01-23T20:01:00.011-05:00

We had such a great weekend. We really got to lay low as a family, enjoy sitting by the fire, hanging in our pj's, and relaxing. We did get to welcome Grandma and Grandaddy back from their cruise and celebrate a very special B-day....we love you Dad!

We enjoyed some fun times with Uncle Mac and Aunt Whitney.

Welcome to my new obsession...well, not really, I love to organize, and love labels, but have been inspired to go through each room/closet and purge/sell/give items we aren't using away. I also want to keep create specific places for things to be. Our goal is to only have to buy staples from the grocery over the next few weeks, prepare all meals with what we already have, then shop for two weeks and only have those needs in fridge and pantry....wish me luck. Is this unrealistic?

So, this is my before.....all things are in a place...I just need to foof it up a bit.

This is the after with my stencil in the background.

I took the same stencil I used in my office space wall and used it on the back of these shelves.

Then my friend Megan made these labels for me with her Cricut....I may need a group of people to go in with me to buy either a cricut or sillouette....anyone? I mean, it may be out of control... who is with me...leann?

(By the way...originally I was going to have salt as one of my canisters, but after telling Megan what I wanted I switched to powdered sugar...so no that isn't ALL salt!)

How is that for foof-i-fied? I love it. Colin still doesn't know where some items are....for example paper towels....they have been in the same spot for at least two weeks babe!

Be sure to check out my facebook page and watch the Mr. Wizard video....it took too long to upload on here...just another exciting adventure....

Crazy and Crafty

2011-01-19T12:41:00.001-05:00

I tend to think I am crafty, while my hubs thinks I am crazy. If crafty is taking other peoples ideas and implementing them into my home, I am CRAFTY! I love blogs and especially blogs where people share their decorating ideas. I only have a few I look at because I get way to overwhelmed. A few of my fav's are http://www.thriftydecorchick.com/ (thanks Leann), http://honeywerehome.blogspot.com/, and http://jonesdesigncompany.com/ (this is where I got the idea for my wallpaper paint pen design in my office). So there are some of my favorites. Today I restructured my pantry/laundry/office area. I have pix to post soon. You know my issue, I'm on the iPad and, well you know. Anyway, I am also trying to do my redesign/crafty projects budget savvy. So another website I may be slightly obsessed with is Craigslist. Colin may think I am crazier about craigslist then crafts! Random post, but just really enjoying the time to be creatively crafty or crazy.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

I wish I could paint

2011-01-18T10:50:00.003-05:00

I think that I am going to try and make excuses as to why I haven't been on here for a week. I have written two posts, thought that they were published only to find they went missing in cyber space. I am not techy (is that a word? spelling?), and I try to hang with the cool kids when it comes to the technology, but I just can't. Colin bought me an ipad a few months ago, and I do love it. I like that I can link emails from home and work, calender app is awesome, Angry Birds (enough said), and of course my FB and Twitter are at my fingertips. However, when it comes to blogging and pictures....I have issues. I have this app so I can blog, but it won't post or allow me to upload pix...don't even get me started on the pix. Right now I upload them to my old laptop (ol trusty), and then email them to my ipad, and then try and upload them....no dice. So today, I say down to blog from Ol Trusty. What an incredibly intense amazing post.....sorry Elizabeth :) At least it is new, right?

I am thankful for true, authentic friendships. I have been so very blessed when it comes to genuine friends. They are there in really good times, hard times, and with me crazy times. They laugh with me, cry with me, and call me out. It is so good to know that friends can and will let you know if you have done something wrong. I think that builds on the friendship so much more, when you can walk through the hard conversations and come out of them stronger. I believe that these friends are the ones that really sharpen me, hold me accountable, and genuinely see the real me....little tangent, but my friend needs to know I adore and love her for our chat this am.

Now, to the title of my post. Last night in our Esther bible study the following scripture stood out and spoke to me.

Isaiah 49:16
"See, I have engraved you on the palm of my hands"

I know you are all aware of my "vain imagination" in regards to fear. Beth also mentioned that last night. Ouch....God gives us strength, and in times when we really, really need His strength it is undeniable that He is there. What happens when I makes stuff up, and pray for strength for something that isn't even there....He can't provide strength if I am not really walking through the situation my "vain imagination" has thought up. Make sense? I conclude, that I am selfish when I spend all my time thinkng about me and my fear of death, cancer, etc. I am wasting my time and His holding tightly onto this fear. I have decided I want to let go of those fears and grab onto Jesus. I need to remember that he has held me so tightly, that I am engraved into the palm of His hands. Beth Moore demonstrated this by holding tightly onto a piece of jewelry and when she let go, the jewelry was indented into her palms. Jesus has a tight hold on me, and I tend to try and wiggle free. So if I could paint....I would paint a picture of His hands (not gonna happen, I could show you pix of HS art projects), and within his palms my initials insribed....not really easy to see, because I don't want to notice my name above His strong hands. Now that would be a cool painting. Then I would write Isaiah 49:16 at the bottom as a reminder of His promise to hold me tight.....I hope that this encourages someone today.

Promise to write before seven days go by!

Dr Akin

2011-01-11T12:32:00.007-05:00

Soooo, today was our appointment with Dr. Akin. It was pretty cool to go back to the same little room, on the same couch, where this journey began three years ago. Colin and I talked about our feelings the first time we sat on the couch, how unsure and usettling it was. We didn't know a whole lot about IVF at that point, and were almost sure we would never go down that path. Today as we sat, three years later, and with an almost two year old at home, we were thankful that God took us down that road. We were thankful for Dr Akin and his abilities to help couples with infertility....and so, so, so, so, so thankful for the miracle of Camden Wade Stout. He is such a gift.

When Dr Akin came in, he told us he was so sorry. He really wants every person who goes through IVF, FET, IUI to end up pregnant, but sometimes it just doesn't work. He said right off the bat that we would most definately need to do another round of IVF in order to obtain pregnancy and that it was a 1 in 500 chance that we would get pregnant on our own. The answer for us was easy....we are not going to do IVF again. He suggested that IUI's would most likely not work, and that he totally understood why we didn't want to do another cycle. I asked him what he thought happened last month and he said that my body probably had a chemical pregnancy and a very, very early miscarriage. He mentioned usually 1 of his 15 patients a month usually has a chemical pregnancy. He reassured me that it was nothing I did, and I was so thankful to hear that. I have had some thoughts in the back of my mind that it was something I did....

After our appointment, we walked out of that little room where it all started, knowing that the IVF chapter has come to a close. We enjoyed the journey, and are forever grateful for what it did bring our family.

Let Go and Lexapro

2011-01-04T13:54:00.001-05:00

I haven't written much about FET (frozen embryo transplant) the last few days. Colin and I talked about our plan over our quick trip to Louisville for New Years. I also acknowledge that our plan will most likely be different from God's and we are open to Him. I also get nervous for even admitting we have a plan, because to live by faith is to surrender all plans of our own.
So s simple disclaimer would be, "God you have the freedom to move as you see fit for our family, and permission to laugh at the following."

First off it was so nice to getaway with my sweet hubs. To get away from work, home, and to focus on us. We got to have some good belly laughs and conversation. We decided that we were so very blessed to have our sweet baby boy. We also realize what a miracle he really is. We have set an appointment with Dr. Akin for next week just to hear his thoughts on our failed pregnancy. My thoughts are that he will advise us to do IVF again. We have been told by to fertility specialists that the only way for us to get pregnant is through ivf. Colin and I know that we do not want to walk through in vitro again. I don't think we can financially or emotionally. We are interested to hear Dr Akin out, but assume to know what he will say.

After our appointment with Akin, I am going to go see Dr Butler. He is a wonderful Dr, he delivered Camden and is also a strong Christian. We value his opinion and counsel. Our plan for now is to get back on birth control, and be a family of three. I don't want to closer the door of future pregnancies, but believe this is what is best for our family.

When I talked to my friend last week about possibly getting back into fulltime work in a few years, he told me "you need to let go and lexapro.". I do know I need to let go of control and live by faith. The anxiety meds do help, and I sm learning more and more each day about my control issues. As for now, this has helped me. Again, I know that God sees the whole picture and is getting a good laugh out of this post.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Once in a lifetime...

2011-01-03T14:33:00.010-05:00

Coolest picture from the game...thanks John E and Kat!

He loved his dry erase clipboard (I could smell the marker)
NBD...just Tony Delk

Coach Cal and Coach Pitino-Frienemies Go Big Blue...about to hit the road to cheer on the CATS (pix out of order)

We had tickets to the UK verse UofL game on New Years Eve this year. We met up with two other couples and traveled up to Louisville together only to notice when gettin to YUM that our tickets said section 115, row A. Now I have never been in single letters, so as we are walkin to our seats Colin says "I think these are front row." I laugh and just kind of give him a look as we keep walking down the steps....I also notice that the section we are in is right behind the visiting teams bench, that's cool....UK is visiting, this could be interesting. As we get closer and closer and closer the floor, I notice that letter A is definately front row, and we are definately sitting right behind the bench...more specifically Coach Cal. So cool! Never have I ever seen a game from this perspective. I didn't know what to watch, the game or Coach Cal coachin the game. It was incredible....and I guess we were on TV because I was getting text after text about people seeing us...which was tricky. I was dying to twitpic, tweet, text the whole time, but didn't want to miss a minute of the game. I also skipped on my pretzel....I love me a pretzel....but my butt wasn't moving. I only had 40 minutes of this seat, and I know that these were once in a lifetime seats. What a cool way to see the game and cheer on the CATS....they looked great. So the pix above are from time outs and our first 5 minutes in the arena.

Formal Living Room to Playroom

2010-12-29T14:09:00.008-05:00

Before

After

We are just in the season of life where we wouldn't use a formal living room, but would use the heck out of a playroom. After Thanksgiving, we left all the furniture out of our front room and made it a playroom for Camden. It is so nice to have a place, without a TV, that he can mess up and call his own. Without the TV, we aren't tempted to watch our dear friend ELMO all day. Gives us a place to get all of our energy out during these long winter months. Don't you worry, we make a good mess, but we are also teaching him to clean up, so thankful for my kindergarten backround and great songs! So below is our transformation from FL to PR.

The Plan...

2010-12-29T13:48:00.002-05:00

So today I am in planning mode. We have two problems here, I like to plan out my life, and I am not really trusting God with His plan. I thought the next step for my life was another child, now I feel like that won't happen, so I have come up with this plan.

*Sell all baby stuff
*Buy a new bedroom suite for the other bedroom
*talk to SCC about the possibility of a full-time position when Camden is in school (this is a 3-4 year step)
*go on a really nice Disney vacation
*pick out Camden's big boy bedding
*worry about losing Camden
*I also tend to want to spend a whole lot of money when I am stressed or anxious (note to self, cut up credit cards)
*I am sure there are more...

Some of these plans I don't like...like the last one. With the loss of Chilly, Willy, and Lilly and the hope of a second child (which I do believe if God wanted us to have another one He would do that, I am just venting a bit), I have become really protective and anxious about losing Camden. I find that this isn't fair or fun. I want to enjoy being his mom, not worry day to day if he will fall and get hurt or even worse. Do you guys think I need to up my crazy pills yet? Hoping this blogs get more fun. I guess today, I feel nutty. I can only imagine what God thinks of my plan.

gIVFt

2010-12-28T13:02:00.002-05:00

I don't know where to start with the post....I am so thankful for IVF, to me it gave me one of the best gifts I have ever had. So, I guess when we went in for round two, I got cocky, I knew it would work. It had to, we knocked it out of the park the first time with our little guy. We had three embryos, that I just knew would give us another child. Since yesterdays phone call I have gone through so many emotions....sadness, guilt, relief, confusion, and anger. I am so sad, because according to Dr's, Colin and can't get pregnant on our own. Now I believe in God and know He can work miracles...but for now I am sad because medically speaking, this just wont happen for us. I am guilty because I really didn't want to go back for those little embryos. I dreaded the thought of pregnancy and change. I feel terrible now knowing that I dreaded those three little guys, and now they won't be. I am a little bit relieved for the fact that I don't have to worry about another pregnancy with bedrest, I am content with my sweet boy. I am relieved that I won't have another 3-6 months of sleepless nights, or change. I am confused, because as I write why I am relieved, I still have a small desire for sleepless nights, and a sweet baby who lays on your chest with their legs wrapped up under their butt. How can I want both things in the same breath? I am finding myself with a twinge of anger....just mad. Don't know why, I just am mad. Then I cry, I hate crying.

The gift of IVF has me forever grateful. I get to wake up with a spunky 20 month old and watch Elmo, play in the snow, eat frozen waffles, and dance. IVF is also tricky because you know SOOOO much sooner that you are pregnant. I knew within days of implanting the embryos that I was pregnant. If Colin and I had conceived on our own, we probably never would have known that I was pregnant for those two days, and I wouldn't be brokenhearted. I am thankful that God has those sweet little embryos and He sees the bigger picture. Although we were just a few weeks along, I still believe I will see those sweet babies one day. Thank you God for staying close.

Friends, thanks for the prayers and all the messages, calls, texts, and cupcakes. I feel SO SO loved. We believe God has the best plan...we will trust in HIM!

Journey of surprises (be sure you start with 1)

2010-12-27T12:49:00.002-05:00

I have been blogging the past few weeks, but not posting, until today. Start with Surprises 1, and go to Surprised 4. We love y'all.

Surprised (4)

2010-12-27T12:23:00.003-05:00

Welll...this past week has been quite the roller coaster of emotions. We have been on the top, and today we just road the car straight to the bottom fast. Last Thursday, when i went in for my bloodwork to confirm my pregnancy, Gale called to tell me I was indeed pregnant, but my levels were low. Typical of Frozen Embryo Transfer, but she still wanted me to come in today to make sure my numbers were doubling.

Camden and I woke up and used our new toaster to make some really good Kroger brand blueberry waffles, and then went to pick up my mom to go get my bloodwork done. I am so thankful she knew about the pregnancy and could go along with me. The process was quick and painless, and i needed to stay busy for two hours so....we went to Sams and then Cracker Barrell. We met my dad and Aunt Whitney at the barrell for what looked to be a delicious morsal of food. (We also ran into the Breaux family, which is always nice....)

I found a sweet deal on some decorative plates and when I was taking them to my car noticed Gale had called me with my results. At that point mom, dad, Cam, and Whitney had been seated and I decided to call Gale back. Mistake one....went back into the CB to call Gale. Gale was so, so sweet but she told me that my levels had dropped considerably, to the point of negative and that I was no longer pregnant. Mistake two....sitting down in the middle of gift shop, on the phone, crying. She told me we could come in and meet with Dr Akin and discuss what he thought may have gone wrong,and we could do another cycle, all things that were entering in one ear and going straight out the other. She said that the embryos had implanted at one point, but some how didn't stick. I told Gale I would have to call her back to set that up. I didn't know what to think or do so.. I went out to the car to tell Colin the news. There is something about marrying your friend in times like these. He knew what to say, he let me cry, and he is just perfect. So thankful for him. Mistake three....going back into CB to tell my mom, dad, Whitney, and Camden I lost the baby, and I need to leave...I just wanted to be alone. I just didn't know what to think or do. So I traded cars with my dad (who is crying...so sorry). Mistake four....walk back through CB and run into one of our friends who did a lot of work on our old house...hug, and melted down, so sorry Chuck. My emotions were crazy.

I am thankful that my mom and dad took Camden for the afternoon, I went to Nakada's and she loved on me, encouraged me and gave me the hope that God does know what He is doing. Even when I am devastated, and not knowing what to think, He does. I am at the point now, where I feel bad that I even dreaded going back for Chilly, Willy, and Lilly. I dreaded the thought of pregnancy, and I dreaded the thought of change...but now, I dread not being pregnant. I am sad that I may not have a little baby again. I want to sell all my stuff that I organized in my garage for baby number two. Not that I dont have hope that God will give us another child, but because I just want to get rid of it. I don't want to see it....I want to focus on the sweet GIFT of Camden, and as far as I can see right now, we are family of three (and sampson).

So we had an amazing Christmas, we continue to thank God for the plan He has for us. We will continue to praise Him, and trust Him. I just feel a little broken right now...and that's OK. God has all the pieces.

1 Thessalonians 5:15-18

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Surprise (3)

2010-12-25T19:38:00.007-05:00

This is the ornament that each person sees when they open their gift from Camden

So...we have told our family,

So....baby number 2, you are so very loved. We can't wait to meet you, and know your name. Until then we know who is creating you, and we trust in Him. Please pray for us as we start this wonderful journey again.

Merry Christmas! (Stout style)

2010-12-25T18:58:00.008-05:00

This is the tradition that I want to start with our family. I want to read "Christmas in the Manger" with Camden....unfortunately he wasn't too interested. (see story below)

This was before church on Wednesday night...Colin is saying "Cheese", Camden is saying "out" (which means down)

Camden and his sweet cousin Katlyn, celebrating with the Stout family Christmas Eve Oh my word....could he get any cuter? This was during our wagon ride, see video below

Some pics and video of our action packed Christmas....The first video is of Colin and I going to wake Camden up. You can see that he wakes up like his momma...happy. (don't ask Colin). He does have his mom's ability to fall all the time, this is a trait I inherited from my mom.

The second video is of Camden walking into the toy room where he sees all his toys from Santa (Craigs list). I wanted to have a moment this morning walking through Jesus' birth, and for some reason he just wouldn't sit down. So tonight before bed we got to read through the story and sing Happy Birthday to Jesus. I really want him to understand what Christmas is truly about, Colin reassures me that he is 20 months old and t fact that he didn't want to come away from his Elmo work bench is ok.

This last video is of Camden and me riding in the wagon. Poor daddy pulled us all arond the backyard....as you can see it was totally worth it. Thanks babe

T

I am not good at surprises....(2)

2010-12-22T19:39:00.005-05:00

Because I can't keep surprises....Since the 20th, I have taken more tests, the ones with the two lines didn't convince my hubs, I had to buy the ones that say pregnant! At that point he felt that was a little bit more definitive. So, after he saw the word pregnant, he/I couldn't wait to share the news with family (remember the plan to tell on Christmas day). My mom and dad came over Tuesday, December 21st to watch Camden while we went on a date....so we told them. It was so special, we were all crammed in the bathroom, watching Camden splash and go crazy in the tub, and I handed them a gift bag and said Camden had a present for them. (I am an idiot and did put the pregnancy test in the bag, cleaned off, and my dad thought it was a thermometer....no clue what it was), UNTIL he spotted that ornament when he saw that ornament his eyes lit up and tears were flowing. My poor mom was sitting on the tub had no clue what was going on, until Colin stated....we are pregnant....then we were all hugging and so happy. I loved that we got to surprise them, last time they walked through the whole process, this time, they had no clue. I am glad we got to do it both ways, but the look on their faces was priceless....they really didn't have a clue.

Today (december 22nd), Mom, Dad, Mac and Whitney came over to celebrate my birthday. We did carryout from Malones and cake. We finished dinner and then Camden took Mac and Whitney the present, and they were thrilled.

So...tomorrow night we will probably tell Colin's family, and then it will be out. Praise God for this story. I am so thankful that we have this opportunity to LOVE another child. Please pray for us as we walk into the pregnancy. That I can be a good mom to Camden, a good wife to Colin, and enjoy this. I am so, so thankful for these embryos in my belly. (By the way, go in for bloodwork tomorrow, then I will have an ultrasound in January to see how many we are talking about.

Best Birthday EVER!

I don't like Surprises. (1)

2010-12-20T20:47:00.009-05:00

This post is not going to be on my blog until Colin and I are ready. You may already have a hunch about what this is about....I am thinking that as you read more and more, your thoughts are going to where I think that you think they are going and what you are thinking is indeed true...as of tonight, December 20th.....I am pregnant!

This past October while on our awesome cruise, Colin and I had a discussion, in the ocean, with KJ (lucky guy) and decided that it was time to go back and get our sweet little embryos, fondly known as Chilly, Willy, and Lilly.

When we arrived home from our awesome vacation, and I called Dr. Akin. I felt so stupid when the receptionist answered, because there are technical terms for what we are doing, however I just shouted out "we want to come in and get our frozen babies!" The receptionist is the sweetest, and she just laughed and said the technical term is FET, frozen embryo transplant, and I replied, "that's what we want!". She transferred me to my friend Gale, and I had to leave a message. Of course Gale called back when I was in the car with my sweet momma.....whom we wanted to surprise (along with the rest of our family and friends). So I am just listening to Gale ramble off all these instructions, really wanting to ask a ton of questions.....and decide that I will just have to call the following day....(mom, I was dying to tell ya....probably everyday since we started).

I called Gale back and she said that this time, no injections just patches. I had to start the patched according to my cycle, and at some many days of patches I would go in to see my friend Dr. Akin and he would let me know if it was a go......My sweet, sweet friend Nakada happened to be at SCC dropping off Sophie and Riley the same time I dropped off Camden the morning of the appointment and offered to go with me. I was totally appreciative and thrilled she wanted to come with me (not to the ultrasound of course). We got coffee and just talked through what this meant....three embryos, triplets. "Are you ready for the possibility of three?" In my head, I have always struggled with the thought of even having one more child. My pregnancy with Camden was full of bedrest....and I don't know how that would work with a almost two year old....then I was reminded of "If....(I have triplets, twins, bedrest, no baby...), GOD!" No matter what, this is God's story, child, and He is in control.

Don't worry I have to remind myself of that every hour. So on Tuesday, Dr. Akin gave us the go ahead. He said everything looked great, and asked how many we wanted to defrost (again, not technical term)....Colin and I decided we would implant all three. We implanted three with Camden, and that gave us a 70% chance of one. We had also heard that 1/3 of the embryos coming out of the freezer would not make it...so we were looking at it possibly only being two. (is this making any sense?) Dr. Akin said we needed to be back at the IVF lab the following Tuesday, 9:00 for implant.

Nakada and I celebrated in the car and worked out a plan to get Camden to school early on Tuesday. She would meet me there in the concourse and feed the kids so Colin and I could get to the lab on time. However, it was a snow day so....plan B....we took Camden to Nakada's at 830ish (845ish) and Camden had a playdate with the twins and Jordan and Stef joined them. As Colin and I dropped off our little guy, we were honestly in a little tif because we were running a wee bit behind. He wanted to prepare a breakfast feast before our big appointment. I am all about a schedule and my lovely hubs is all about flying by the seat of his pants. So we were working through our timing and late arrival, and the fact that my emotions were extremely high. What if we do get pregnant, can I be a good mom, will I be able to LOVE all of these kids, will Camden fell left out....I really like our life right now... That's where my sweet hubs comes in....he kept encouraging me that this whole thing was out of our hands...that God was writing this story and I had to let go!

As we walked into the IVF lab, it was surreal. We had been driving by for the last few years saying hi to Chilly, Willy, and Lilly....and now they were ready....they weren't go to be there anymore after we left. That hope....that the possiblilty to become pregnant was not going to be there anymore after that day. We went back to our room to get ready and Dr Akin walked in to tell us that two of the three embryos had survived. Whoa...that was a little blow, we lost Chilly. I was a little relieved that we probably wouldn't have triplets, but still sad that our little embryo had not come through. BUT, we had Willy and Lilly, and we were giving them a chance at life within minutes. Dr Akin, was wonderful. So encouraging and kept saying we hope that you have an extra special gift this Christmas. As we sat and waiting for 15 minutes....Colin and I just talked about the future...the many different possibilities and were so thankful that we know God. That we trust God, and that we don't have to worry, HIS plan for our family is best.

That was Tuesday, December 14th and here I am on Monday, December 20th (three tests later) and tonight we finally had a very, very, very faint positive. I am going to my internal med doctore tomorrow for a head cold and going to ask her if she will do some bloodwork, to confirm. My test day isn't supposed to be until Thursday, December 23rd. Some things I have had to do over the past few weeks.

*Not tell my mom and dad (horrible, hard, and I share so much with my mom and dad, and I know that this will be worth it. I have made some ornaments to give our families on Christmas day to share the news. Camden is going to give it to them (and show Pam, Mama and Papa on skype) Christmas Day. (I will show a picture later)

*Come off my anxiety meds...this has been quite the ordeal, my body is doing crazy things...I know it will be worth it in the end, but oh my word, I am in withdraw as they say.

*not really talk about this with many people..you know that ain't my personality

*Pray....for God's will to be done.....If I am pregnant, then God.

I will continue to make posts and pulish once the secret is out, I just know that I will want this journey documented.....

SO SURPRISE.....now I LOVE surprises!

Snow Day!

2010-12-13T08:30:00.002-05:00

Office project in progress...

Well, today is Camden's very first snow day. He is already doing a great job embracing it, because it is 8:30 and he is still snoozin'. Thanks little buddy. I have made coffee, muffins, and now sat down to blog. I can't guarantee this will be a complete post in one setting.....I am thinking my little guy may wake up.

We had a great weekend. We celebrated Christmas with everyone Colin works with Friday...and then snuck over to Mac and Whitney's Christmas party. Then Saturday we celebrated Joseph Feola's second birthday at Gymboree (where I learned the scary clowns name is Gymbo)....yikes! Camden LOVED it, he climbed, screamed, played maraccas, and danced. He wore himself OUT...such a fun party. The only part he wasn't sure of was the parachute. Other then that he had a blast. Speaking of Camden, he is really beginning to talk. He is repeating after me so many words..."circle, thank you," It is so fun. He is also all about throwing things. He gets really excited and just doesn't know what to do, so he throws. (remember Baby Jesus)

Yesterday, I may have gotten a wild hair. When Colin sees this coming out, he usually hits the road running the other way. I bought my paint and tackled my office. It is definately not finished, but I am just giving myself time to process how pink (pepto) the back wall is, and how best to tone it down? I also have two blank canvases that I want to draw something on...Colin says we already have way too many words and "s's" in the house, so I am thinking about that one. I am thinking a little bird...I dont know. I am open to suggestions from you crafty people. As for now...here is the space so far. I told ya...it looks like pepto.

thanksgiving 2010 pix

2010-12-10T14:18:00.006-05:00

Sorry these are so small....check back tomorrow for some really cute Christmas pix of Camden.

This is the before shot. (we have now turned this room into a playroom). I will post pix later :)

This is the "after decorations" shot

This is the set up for the dining room table

Family picture 2010

I am having to email pix from facebook in order to save them on my laptop, to put into my blog. I am going to go to the apple store after the holidays because I know there has to be an easier way....I am just technologically challenged. Here are pix of the set up we had for Thanksgiving this year. Check out the pix on facebook.

Tonight starts the Christmas parties for us. We are going to Malones of Lexington (yummy) for Colin's company Christmas and then off to Mac and Whitney's for their first Christmas party. I am happy to be having Addie babysit Camden tonight. She is a past student in high school ministry, and also works in the nursery on the weekends. I do believe my son has a crush on her. Camden will be in good hands as we go out and get to love on the wonderful people that work so hard at Concrete Coring (yes, Colin will cry when he talks of how much he appreciate them). I am also looking forward to spending time with friends and family tonight.

Let Go

2010-12-08T17:42:00.003-05:00

So I have been given a book to read for work. I found it in my desk last Friday and thought my boss was trying to tell me something nicely.....how does he know I need to let go of....you name it. I have been praying the last few months that I forget. I know that sounds crazy, but I have been praying whole heartedly, that I could forget. I want to be a gracious, thankful, woman of God and in my job, sometimes it is just really hard. Please don't think ill of me. I LOVE my job, I love that I get to go to work, but in my position I hear and see a whole lot. I get to hear and see first hand hurt people. After hearing the same story 10-15 times in one four hour shift, it gets a little old, just being honest. My prayer is that I can forget the previous calls (the ones where we hang up and they aren't happy with me) and open my heart to the person on the other end of the phone. That I hear or see them as the precious child of God they are, the child that needs their Father. The person that is in desperate need in so much more that money or clothes most of the time. I need to learn to let go of the hard phone calls, and open up to the opportunities that await me each day. God has me in this position for such a time as this....I get to love people, speak truth, and listen. Wow....I get to....thank you Lord. Would you pray with me? Would you pray that my attitude is that of Christ, that I have an open heart each time I answer the phone. Mike Breaux once said...thick skin, but a thin heart.

In my book Let Go by Fenelon (I guess he is a greek god), I read the first letter today. Of course, God spoke and I am listening...

"The good that comes from any experience of personal weakness is the realization that God wants us to be lowly and obedient."

So....I am your servant Lord, use me.

Plague

2010-12-07T13:39:00.002-05:00

Well the nasty bug hit the Stout house last week...thankfully it was just me. However, that might have been the longest 24 hours of my life. I knew it was bad when the tile floor and bathmat seemed comfortable. My hubs and parents took Camden during that time, and I could rest....and do all other things needed when sick. It was awful, but again, thankful I am the only one who got it.

I got to spend the weekend with some of my dearest friends. Leann, Lauren, and I drove up to Cincy for some shopping, sleep, and mommy time. It was a weekend of some great deals, but more importantly lots of laughs. We are all in a life group together (along with our hubs) and we realized that we have been together almost 6 years now. We try to be consistent, but it is just hard when we are trying to be wives, mom's and work. I treasure the time I get to spend with those lovely ladies....

This week kicks off Christmas parties and such. We have something every night this week. I am looking forward to the days when Colin gets to come home from work, sit by the fire, and hang as a family. I think that he may get a couple of days off...that may be wishful thinking.

Camden is hilarious, he is really starting to chat and repeat everything. It is awesome. He has a Little People Nativity scene and he loves "Sesus," really he likes to pick him up and throw him at me. I have been clocked twice right between the eyes with "Sesus" (makes me wonder if he is trying to tell me something :)

Hope to be more consistent in posting. I thought I was on a roll, then the plague hit the house. Sorry

Thanksgiving

2010-11-30T12:36:00.003-05:00

What an amazing week we have had. So much to be thankful for this year. We are so, so fortunate. I have all kinds of pictures to share, however they are on my cool kid ipad. On an ipad you can't upload pix to blogs or Facebook unless you have Flash player....and Flash player isn't compatible with Mac....can someone give me any advice for the technologically challenged friend? I am dying to show pix.... so until I figure out how to upload pix I thought I would simply right out reasons I am thankful....
*I love that i get to wake up every morning with the most amazing man. He is an encourager, entertainer, and simply so supportive of his crazy wife. He knows what to say and do, and I have fallen even more in love with him each day. He is an active loving dad...and his little boy thinks he hung the moon.
*Speaking of my little boy....what a gift. I LOVE that I get to be his mom. He makes me laugh, cry, and crazy. I wouldn't change a thing about what he has brought to my life. Right now he has this boisterous fake laugh that cracks me up. He goes around the house and puts his hands on his knees and then just belly laughs. He is a happy baby boy....not really a baby anymore.
*speaking of babies...I am thankful that God provided us with three more embryos (currently on ice). We have the opportunity to try and have another child in the future. We are praying that God protect those sweet little lives, and give us direction in when it is time to go and "try" again.
*I hope by reading my blog, you see how much I love Jesus ("Sesus" according to Camden). He is all I need, and everything else is an abudant blessing.
*I LOVE my family. I am so thankful that we are close and chat or see each other everyday. I am so thankful for my Texas, St. Louis, Chicago, and Florida Fam...we may not get to chat or see each other day, but I am forever grateful for our texts, emails, cards (Mama and Papa just sent one the other day with $1 and gum). We are so lucky.
*House...we love this beautiful home and the roof it provides over our head. It is a home...and we are so thankful for the protection it provides us from the heat, cold, snow, and rain.
*I love music...I listen to music all the time. It helps me focus and worship throughout the day. My favorite CD right now is the Chris Tomlin Christmas album.
*I love showers at night....I feel clean and refreshed when I wake up (never thought that would be me...but this is where I am now)
*Love coffee in the morning with sugar and milk (sometimes hot tea)
*Friends, I have some amazing....amazing....amazing friends. Couldn't walk through life without them.
*Craigslist...always looking for a good deal
*SCC..I love that I get to work, and Camden gets to go to school there. It is an amazing team that I am a part of.
*Surprises. I love them, I love to surprise people more then I love being surprised
*Candles...they help my house smell good and I always have one lit when I am home.
*Elmo...he helps entertain Camden while I cook dinner at night.
*Blog..I wish that I spend more time writing here, when I look back at our journey to becoming parents it reminds me of God's hand at work during the good and bad times.
*sweet tea..might be addicted

I am rambling and have the right to keep adding...I just have so much to be thankful for, hopefully the ability to upload pix will be added soon!
Em

my own space

2010-11-22T13:21:00.007-05:00

We moved all of the storage shelves and Sampsons house from this corner of the pantry and put our desk. This is my space....I have so many ideas. (See below for a few)

I am so thankful for these bad boys...especially when my boy was sick and I was doing 2-3 loads a day)

This is my closet that is in the huge pantry....I not only have a huge pantry, but it has a closet inside....I love it.

This is the view when you first walk in the laundry/pantry/myspace. I love that our engagement picture is in the laundry room. 8 years ago it was the first thing you saw when you walked in our home...then it moved to the dining room and now it is here.

This is to the right when you walk in. You can see my desk in the left side of the picture. Along with Camden's drum (the black tin with Ghosts and pumpkins and the amazing Veggie Straws....these should be a staple in every family home (Thanks Nakada)

So when we moved into our awesome house a few months ago...I gained this incredible laundry/pantry area....I mean incredible. It is huge! I love it....I am sick when it comes to oranizing things. I have so many plans running around in my head...colors, pictures, accents, baskets, school supplies...oh my. This is a blank slate....and my favorite part is in the back corner is a space that is all mine. Mine to decorate, mine to sit and listen to my music, mine to have my quiet time, a space all about me. I have already been more disciplined with my bible study and my blog...because I look forward to lighting my candle (pumpkin spice), turning on my christmas music (chris tomlin) and just having some me time. I LOVE IT!

So with this fun space I have had all kinds of ideas rolling around in my head. I will show you some colors, some creative inspirations, and the actual space. (I never know if my pix show up above or below...but you get the picture).

Inspirations:

(many from the blog Jones Design Company)

Coffee Filter Foof (hang over the desk)

Blackboard wall (I want to frame a chalkboard/magnetic board to cover the panels)

Raspberry Pudding (for the back wall, with the electrical panels-with above frame that has blackboard paint/magnetic abilities to hide panels) HOW FUN IS THAT PINK?

Cloudy Sky (just love this color...think this may be dining room down the road)

You know I will also have to have a phrase....I am thinking about painting or stenciling Phillipians 4:6-7 on my wall. I want to read that promise everyday.

I just love the idea of having a fresh coat of paint on the walls and trim. Pictures of my family and friends, my computer, my music, my candles, and my space. This is all about me! Yikes!

If....

2010-11-21T12:11:00.002-05:00

So as you know, I struggle with fear. More specifically with fear of death or something happening to those I love. This has been something deeply rooted in me for a long time. I remember when my Grandfather passed away, I came to realize that death was real....and I would die. I was in elementary school when I came home to both of my parents home (which never happened, dad worked until at least 6 every night). I was so happy to have my daddy home, but quickly sensed that something wasn't right. That morning he had been the one to wake us up and get us ready for school, I just thought it was a special day...however, my mom had been called to the hospital in the wee hours to say good-bye to her daddy. My grandaddy had a bad heart. He had many open heart surgeries, and I just knew that he would pull through his latest by-pass...but he didn't. After his death and funeral, I grew very, very fearful of dying. I remember waking up in the middle of the night thinking that my heart was stopping. I remember watching movies about cancer and thinking I had it. I remember hearing about Magic Johnson's diagnosis with AIDS, and you got it, I had it. Fear is powerful, our minds are powerful. So from then on...my fears and my mind worked against me...telling me lies. Now I know who to blame for being paralyzed with fears....and now I know that isn't who I am....death is real, but if I live in constant fear of death...I will never live. The devil is trying to keep a grip on me...he is trying to keep me crippled by my fears, so that I can't do God's will in my life. Not cool Devil, not cool. Little does he know...in the Bible God calls us to NOT FEAR over 365....one for each day. I think that HE knew we would struggle with fear.

I don't know what your fear is, but I do know.....
Philippians 4:6-7 (New International Version)
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

Ephesians 2:10 (New International Version)
10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (New International Version)
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.[a]

God promises to use us...He has a plan. We must trust Him in all things, pray, and stand true to His promises. So, what has helped me? Lots and lots of prayer. Great conversations with good people, acknowledging these lies Satan has told me. Honestly, medicine....I think it is OK to take meds, they along with prayer help balance me out. And, most recently this.

"If I die, then I will be with God forever"
"If I get cancer, then God will hold my hand"
"If my parents get sick, God"
"If I lose Camden or Colin, God"

You see IF anything, God IS! He always will be. I may have to be scraped up off the ground IF those happen, but GOD will use me. God will be with me, God will NEVER leave me.

James 1:2-4 (The Message)
2-4Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way

This may be too much, but I needed to get it off my chest. If I didn't, God would still know. Love you guys.

Thanksgiving Week!

2010-11-20T20:21:00.010-05:00

One of my fav's from last year...you can tell he was digging the carrots and sweet potatoes

(baby food)

I love this picture of my cousin Stephen...so excited that Flo will be with us this year...and they are ENGAGED!! (look how dark Camden's hair is!)

Decor this year will be similar...with round tables

No formula this year buddy!

This is Camden 2009...he is really gonna love 2010

I LOVE Thanksgiving. I LOVE hosting Thanksgiving. I LOVE decorating for Thanksgiving. I LOVE everything about Thanksgiving. Fried turkey, family, friends, veggies galore, and desserts and more! I just LOVE it! We are hosting a party of 26 this year and I promise to post pix of the decor and spread. All the rental equipment is delivered on Wednesday when I get off work....so I will be in the zone Wednesday night. We also have a tradition of "preparing" the turkey's the night before. I just LOVE it! I can't wait......Above are pix of last years festivities and decor....they helped refresh my memory...and get me really excited about this year. Sooo...Happy Thanksgiving week! I LOVE Thanksgiving! So much to be thankful for..

success

2010-11-17T13:53:00.010-05:00

If you have any need to take aggression out on a chicken, I recommend the chicken hammer pounder thingy....this was fun!

This is my chicken after I dredged in Plinko (Panko) Crumbs

these are my pans where I got to dredge things (don't I sound like an Iron Chef)

oven fried chicken (so easy and even yummier)

These are called butterscotch and black pepper baby carrots....delightful

Caught the little guy off guard....seriously mom, this is awesome!

Well friends, I did it! I saw a recipe on TV and I tried to make it here at home (I would really like some assistants who put all the neccessary ingredients in cute bowls for me), and it was SUCCESSFUL....really good! I am bragging, I am not a good cook, and this was good. It has inspired me to look for other recipes and try to cook them. (right now I am leaning towards a chocolate chip cheese ball...no cooking required and it has chocolate).

I want to dedicate this post to my mom...she has been praying this day would happen for 25+years....so mom, hope you enjoyed this. Love you.

Mommy Time

2010-11-16T11:10:00.002-05:00

My sweet little guy is off to school today....and mommy has some time to herself. I used to send Camden to school only on Mondays and Wednesdays, while he was at school I worked. Then something hit me....send Camden to school on Tuesdays so you can have some time. At first I felt guilty, should I really take time for myself, when Camden is perfectly fine here at home on Tuesdays with me? Am I selfish? Am I going to miss him? Today is my first day to really embrace the gift of Tuesday, and although I do miss my sweet boy, I know he is in good hands and having a blast with all of his other buddies. I am sure he hasn't thought twice about me :)

So, what do I do on my first free Tuesday morning from 9-12? I worked out with my friend Nakada....I am going to be sore tomorrow for sure. I went to the pharmacy, used a gift card to buy myself a cup of coffee at Starbucks, and went to the grocery. I know, don't be jealous, but to do all those things without having to keep up with a little person was so, so nice. When I got home, I unloaded the car without worrying about where the dog and Camden were while I left the garage door open. I put everything away, and it stayed in its place....and I found two new recipes I want to try for dinner. I will put a link to them....the first is oven fried chicken and the second is butterscotch black pepper carrots. I will let you know how they turn out. I can't decide if I am going to make them tonight or tomorrow....but I never, ever, ever get excited about cooking...and I must admit, I am a little excited!

I have also been falling more and more in love with Esther. This study is so good, and I love the people that I am walkin through the study with too. More on that tomorrow. Happy rainy Tuesday all.....

sickness 2010

2010-11-15T08:31:00.004-05:00

yikes! My sweet baby boy has been sick these last few days. It all started Friday (sorry Aunt Whitney) when I was at work. Camden was still asleep when I left for work, so when Aunt Whitney went in to get the little guy....let's just say he had exploded....everywhere.....pj's, body, sheet, bumper, blanket, lovey, you get the idea. Yuk! He ate a great breakfast and was extra loving for Aunt Whitney. Then took a great nap...and guess what...after nap, he exploded for mommy. I had a hard time with this scene, and he is my son. Yuk! Friday night he slept great, thank you Jesus, since Colin was out of town. However, we had another explosion Saturday morning and afternoon. I kept giving him pedialyte and bland foods. Daddy came home just in time for a very rough Saturday night. I think that he may have eaten too much for dinner, because at 10 and midnight he was up sick again, puking....poor little guy. Yesterday we stayed in our pj's all day, watched Elmo, played, and continued our bananas, applesauce, toast, pedialyte diet. He got up last night with a fever....I am praying his little body fought off this nastiness, but I am calling the Dr today. Please pray for Camden.....no school or work today...another day of Elmo!

Good news to report...solid poop and a way better appetite, thanks for praying. I have a sweet, baby boy on the road to recovery.

MIA

2010-11-05T15:19:00.004-04:00

Friends,

I am so sorry about being MIA for soooo long. I don't think that I have EVER gone two or more weeks without a post. I am probably down 100's of visitors....geesh. However, I do have some cute pix of my boy for halloween to post....and cruise pix to follow. Vacation was a dream come true for me and the hubs. We relaxed and ate a TON, but missed our boy even more. It was nice to be together just the two of us, but we are now a family of THREE. Enjoy our sweet Elmo, and thanks Nana Pam for the hook up.

Let's call them quills

2010-10-14T08:14:00.003-04:00

This week in Esther, I am learning on how to find the root of my quills....what? I don't know about you, but when I feel threatened, something spikes up on me that puts me into protective, defensive, 'oh no you didn't" mode. I am learning that typically my anger is rooted in jealousy and pain. If I am hurt...they go up....if I am jealous, they go up (I think they are longer when I am jealous). "We swap pain for anger because it is easier for a while" Beth Moore.

I am walking through the storyline of Mordecai and Haman to see this picture of "mean." Haman is a rotten, jealous, angry, jerk of a man. He just can't see past himself in many situations, he has REALLY big quills and he likes to poke people all the time (and I am not talking the Facebook kind).

Proverbs 18:7-8 (The Message)
7 Fools are undone by their big mouths;

their souls are crushed by their words.

I am just gonna be honest...I am a fool. I am really trying to learn to keep my mouth shut. I am trying to filter through my thoughts and not say things because it makes me funny or cool. I want to be a good listener, I don't want my words to get me into trouble. Words and quills can kill relationships, family, friends, etc. I don't want to miss out on a beautiful friend because of something I say or a reaction I have had. My new process in dealing with my quills is as follows.

PRAYER!!! Lots of prayer, and asking for God to pinpoint the root of my anger...in all honesty it is me most of the time. It is my thoughts, words that get my quills going. I want God to show me if it is my insecurity that causes the quills.

"If we discern something evil of suspicious, God calls us to take our concerns to Him with deepest humility, intercede earnestly, and ask what-if anything- we should do. " Beth Moore

DISCUSS with a trusted friend/hubs (not everyone) if they think it is in my head or if it is something I should do something about....conversation? Then back to praying.

CONVERSATION if needed, approach the person or SELF and humbly walk through the conversation....but before the conversation back to step one....LOTS And Lots of PRAYER!

Am I the only one that wants to run and be on the defense the minute you feel threatened? Does anyone else have quills? I am also praying that I have much thicker skin and a very thin heart so that I can be slow to anger. Would you pray for your angry friend....

"the bolts of your (my) gates will be iron and bronze, and your (my) strength will equal your days" Deut 33:25

Esther

2010-10-11T10:24:00.002-04:00

So over the last month I have been learning all about the book of Esther thanks to an amazing bible study by Beth Moore. I get to meet with 15+ girls every other Monday and we walk through the study and talk how it applies to our lives as women....and somedays it just isn't easy being a woman....amen? All this to say is that yesterday in "big church" Jon taught about Esther. I felt so cool, I really knew what he was talking about, I knew the characters and the story line. I felt like an expert. I love the story of Esther. I love her faithfulness, and her inner beauty. I love that she takes on the challenge of what God created her for. I love that she listens and obeys. I love that she came from such heartache (losing both parents) and humbly rose to the top....She gives me hope that I was made for such a time as this.

This made me think...what if I was familiar with every character in the bible? What if I knew about each person's story? I am that girl who when told to look up a certain book in the bible, I immediately begin to sweat and then look at the Table of Contents. I don't want others to see that I don't know where certain books are (I know Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Romans...and about where Ephesians and Phillipians are). I am grateful that they put the verses on the screens in big church, by the time I get to them in my bible.....let's just say the sermon is over. I have a paperclip where Esther is in my bible, so during my study it is really easy to locate my girl.

So, back to my point. I want to make an effort to spend more time in the word. To really get to know the people in the bible. To know the stories. Hopefully, Esther is my starting point.

Fun Fall Festivities

2010-10-07T13:04:00.012-04:00

Upon entering the orchard, Camden couldn't believe all the "ball(s)" in front of him!
Sweet face

Grandaddy and Grandma

Got his very own pumpkin

There was even a petting zoo.....loved this picture

Camden fed the donkeys and billy goats (no fear)

So much fun

me and mommy

Apple Train

You should have seen mommy climbing into the BIG chair

It was a beautiful day to enjoy the orchard!

We took our annual trip to Boyd Orchard's today with Grandma and Grandaddy....we had a blast!

A New Look...

2010-10-05T18:54:00.004-04:00

....for my blog. I have decided to ask a savy blog designer to help me. Hopefully in the next few weeks or so, I will be sporting a new look. As for now, enjoy the pix of Camden and Daddy helping around the house. (during these pictures, we realized Sampson was missing, thankfully he wasn't far, and we met some of our neighbors in the process)

Ahhhh-mazing Race

2010-09-27T13:51:00.002-04:00

One of our favorite shows to watch together, and last night was one of the highlights....watch what I mean....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cfeTZNcA3g

I know you probably watched it four more times. That looks so painful to me...know that she is ok and that she was laughing about it at the end of the show. OUCH! She didn't give up though. "She showed that knight who was boss....and hit him right in the kisser!"

I have gone back and forth about being able to really do the show. I hate flying, heights, water, and now watermelons. It would be such an opprtunity to grow, trust, and have an adventure. I do think I would be "that" girl on the show, that broke down because of some minute issue. So, for now, I will continue to watch from my comfy couch.

Running and Christmas Shopping

2010-09-24T13:47:00.004-04:00

Surfing Elmo Rocker

Tickle Me Elmo Live

So I have been inspired to run 2-3 times a week in my neighborhood. I am only going to run between 1-2 miles and look forward to listening to music and just reflecting on my day during that time. I am really looking forward to next weeks fall temps and getting out there while it is cooler. I just like to have some down time all to myself with music. It gives me time to praise God, reflect, and just enjoy outside. I always thought I had to run for a reason...training for something. I thought I had to run 8-10 miles....but now I know I can run for fun. I am looking forward to it. You will notice the picture above of Colin and I after a training session with KJ. Well I challenged Colin to a training session....to see who was stronger....and guess who won? My poor hubs didn't make it through the work out...SO, I won a pair of running/training shoes, I am hoping we get to pick them out this weekend.

While at work today I started Christmas shopping for Camden on Craigs List. I bought two Elmo items, Tickle Me Elmo Live and an Elmo's Surfing Rocker (pictured above). I got both items for $25. If I were to buy them new, $100. YEAH for budget savvy...right Leann? I am loving Craigs List these days...I should look and see if they sell running shoes, that might be kind of gross though.

Have a great weekend. World Equestrian Games begin this weekend and the weather should feel like fall!!! Yippeeee......

Pondering

2010-09-23T13:10:00.003-04:00

I forgot to post this of Aunt Jen and baby Katelyn from Labor Day Weekend at the lake.

I have really been enjoying this Beth Moore study of Esther. It is really cool when you can see how stories in the bible still relate to our stories today. God really knew what He was doing when He breathed the word to life. Some of my favorite scriptures coming from the study are...

Romans 15:4
"Everything that was written in the past was written to teach us. The scriptures give us patience and encouragement so that we can have HOPE."

I love that whatever type of day I am having, I can turn to God's word and be encouraged. I am the type that uses the table of contents, but more the concordance in the back of my bible. If I have a specific feeling I look up scriptures that relate to that feeling. (maybe cheesy) OR I love to text my friends and ask them a scripture that they know relates to that feeling or circumstance. I have a little card full of my favorites. All of these words God has written give me HOPE!

Psalm 96:6
"God is great~He should be praised, He made everything"

Yesterday during my team meeting at church one of my friends painted a picture of how God created us. That He hadn't created anything, there were miles and miles and miles of dirt and until God molded and breathed into the dirt we were nothing. Even now, we can be walking around as dirt....and until we let God breathe in our lives, we are ultimately nothing. We are living, but not truely alive until we fill ourselves up with His word and live it out. As we live day to day and follow Him we are praising our creator.

God is good and God is for us. I am so thankful that as a wife, mom, and friend that first and foremost I am His child. As long as I focus on my relationship with Christ...everything else will fall into place.

Em

From Teacher to Mom

2010-09-21T15:05:00.006-04:00

Nana bought us the Elmo costume (and bucket) for Halloween...cutest Elmo EVER!

So happy to reunite Cam and Posey (love ya Em)

Enjoying his first trip to Gattitown....

As a teacher I had made the call multiple times to tell parents that their sweet child had been sick and needed to be taken home. Yesterday was when I went from being teacher to mom. I got the call, you see I didn't make the call....I got the call (well really I missed it and Colin got the call and then he called me), you get the picture. It was a crazy day at work, seriously the phones were ringing off the hook, and I just missed my own cell phone ringing. When Colin called the church and I answered I was shocked to hear that Camden was a few buildings over from me at school puking....during snack. The snack which we brought in to share with friends....he puked it up, on the table that his friends were eating at. That is nasty! Thankfully, I had a great friend cover the front desk so I could run and get Camden out of school and home with Grandma (I still had two more hrs of work). He looked fine...totally different outfit (which I forgot to send clothes) and no shoes or socks....because...you guessed it, he puked in them. Nasty! Poor little buddy got home and slept two hours and then tried to eat lunch...didn't work....he puked. Thankfully around dinner he kept a few things down and was ready for bed by 6:00. He slept great and seems to have turned the corner today...so very thankful. That being sick...puking thing isn't fun.

I personally like it when I was a teacher and made the calls. As a mom...I have to open that bag full of soiled clothes and wash them....now that is nasty! Thankful my baby boy is better.

Hooooraaayyy!!

2010-09-16T19:13:00.002-04:00

I haven't been able to sign onto my blog for three days. I have been so worried that I would never be able to share my thoughts with my thousands of followers....but don't worry my friends, I am back. I don't know what is going on with my poor little blog...the background has disappeared, the playlist is something totally different then what I selected. When I try to change the playlist, it says I don't have the right password, then I ask it to remind me of my password and I plug that in (in which they think my password is) and they still won't let me in. I am technologically challenged my friends. Lucky to post a picture....

This has been a very challenging few weeks for me and Colin. We have been getting settled into this beautiful home God has given us, loving on our sweet baby boy, and God has been stretching us mentally. He has been busy with so many different challenges, and it has been so cool to talk through what God is teaching me and Colin together. I am so excited to see how He moves and continues to move in our marriage. God is so good.

Camden loves to walk, eat, play, eat, water my flowers, eat, and sleep (believe it or not). He is an eater....did I mention he likes to eat? He is also loving school....especially all his new friends. We found out he was singing "The Wheels on the Bus" so now he is saying "sh! sh! sh!" (because the mommy's on the bus say that, and now I know why). He has so much to say, I just have no idea what he is so passionately telling me. He is affectionate, loves to blow kisses, give kisses, and lean in for a hug. I adore this little guy...he is so much fun.

He will be 17 months on September 21. I can't believe it! I look back at pictures of him and can't believe how tiny he was. He is so tall, and he has some wide (fat) feet. It is hard to find a shoe to fit those little piggies.

All in all, life is so much fun around our home. We are extremely blessed.

Better late then Never.

2010-09-07T10:05:00.022-04:00

Camden loves to drink "jus"

My boys

HOME

(half bath)

Laundry/Pantry (is it sick that I LOVE this room)

Laundry/pantry

view from garage entry

Kitchen

Family Room (tv room)

Formal living and dining rooms

Entry hall

Guest bath...still need to get mirrors

Office/Hunting Room

Guest room....who is coming to stay with us?

Guest room

Master...Mac has promised to help hang the fan, and I am still undecided on where to place pix

Master bedroom

Patio, we start our days here, and Colin and I sit out here every night

The shed stores Cam's and Daddy's "toys"

Sampson and Camden LOVE their new backyard

"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

Here are the pix of our new home. We are so happy with where God has planted our family, we are planning on using this home for ministry as much as possible. We don't want to put so much into the stuff we have and more into people!

Back in the Saddle

2010-09-04T20:38:00.002-04:00

OK...I am starting to get back to a routine and less obssesive in unpacking and organizing. This is my favorite part though....I love finding the perfect spot for everything. It is just so invigorating to know that you have placed that vase or picture in the spot it was made for...well you know what I mean. All this to say is.....I am in the process of taking pix of the crib and my sweet baby boy (I owe you a ton). So....Tuesday morning that will be my job. I will continue to take pictures throughout the weekend and on Tuesday....all three of you (mama, papa, and nana Pam) will see some awsome pix. I love blogging and look forward to being more disciplined from now on. I am also starting a Beth Moore bible study through the book of Esther with some girls...I hope to write some thoughts on here. Anyway...spend the day at the lake with my awesome in-laws and now I am exhausted and ready to head to bed. Windows are open and I have my pumpkin spice and boonilla (boo-nilla...Thank you Yankee Candle for an awesome name) candles out! Welcome Fall....and way to go CATS!
Em

Getting Settled

2010-08-30T08:23:00.002-04:00

I am blogging from our new home!! We have been incredibly busy unpacking and getting settled this past weekend. However, we took yesterday off to rest. It was much needed. We have worked hard, and are still so grateful for this beautiful home. I do know that this is going to be used for ministry, that this home is not ours. We are looking forward to hosting a home group for high school ministry on Wednesdays. I am excited to see how God will use our home for his ministry to love people. I will post pictures soon. Today Camden and I are eating breakfast, watching Elmo, and about to head out for school/work. I also have some recent pix of my boy that are adorable....Mama there are a few with the chin drool just for you! We love you guys.
Em

Deep Breath

2010-08-24T09:42:00.002-04:00

Man, we have had quite a week. Through it all I have been claiming this scripture:

Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)
"So do not be afraid, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen youand help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

(MSG)
"Don't panic, I am with you.
There's no need to fear for I am your God.
I will give you strength, I will help you.
I will hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you."

I love the phrases "uphold you with my righteous right hand" and "firm grip on you" I am so thankful that He has me. That He didn't and won't let go. We went through a little hiccup last week and thought that we lost the house we were buying. I was devastated...we had found such a beautiful home for our family. In the end we knew that God had a firm grip, he was upholding us...He had a the perfect place for us. For two days we scrambled looking for other homes (knowing we had to be out of our current home in a week). Those two days were crazy, but deep down I was excited about this new adventure. Where was He leading us....where did He want us to live. In the end, it was the house we thought had slipped through our fingers. For those two days, with the lack of sleep, the unknowns, and the fact that we had a week until we needed to find another place to live...we were at peace knowing who was in charge. He took us on quite a ride, but I am so glad that He is the driver. So, as we leave this beautiful place here in Copperfield...we look forward to our new home and how God is going to us it and our family for His glory.

Grateful,
Em

Results are in....

2010-08-11T14:02:00.003-04:00

Looks like we are going into negotiations over a few small items, but we SOLD OUR HOME! I will keep you posted, but it looks like we close on August 30th....who wants to help pack? God has taught me through this journey and at times I didn't really act the way He wanted me to. I was so focused on what I wanted and not living by faith. I am getting ready to start a bible study on Esther and read through it last night. She was an incredible woman who lived by faith. I want to be more like her and just step out, not knowing what He has in store. As for now, we are so thankful to have a roof over our head. Excited about this new adventure....

14 days...

2010-08-10T19:16:00.005-04:00

So tomorrow will be fourteen days since we signed the contract to sell our house. The buyer had 14 days to either accept of decline the purchase of our home according to the contract. We have had every test run, appraisal, and estimates and haven't heard a word. This is not something I have enjoyed....I am being honest. Nothing, no word from the buyer or realtor. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I don't know what to expect tomorrow....besides an answer. Geesh...at least we will know tomorrow. I have done my best to be patient...I have failed. I don't like the no control, no communication thing. So...keeping my fingers crossed. I am trying to remain calm, cool, and collective and remember who is ultimately in control, which is not me.

Yesterday and today were busy! Camden has moved to one nap a day and to keep him from being fussy in the mornings...we have been running around. Yesterday we went by church, the grocery, and then lunch with mom and Jan. Today we had a playdate with Jordan, lunchdate with the TLS gang and sweet baby Ains, a good 3 hr nap and then another playdate with Sophie, Riley, and Jordan and then dinner at G-ma and Grandaddy's! BUSY~ It has been great.

Tomorrow we have open house for Camden's school. He is in the monkey room with some really good friends. We get to meet his teacher and check out where he will be spending the year. I am so excited. School supplies and backpack are ready to go. He will be missing his first day of school to spend some time with NANA PAM~~ She is coming in this weekend. We can't wait!

Camden has been walking like crazy...I have a video I need to upload. He chooses to walk and crash into everything (busted his lip this morning). He is waving and saying bye-bye, grabs the remote and says "elmo," loves to give kisses, and still enjoys the pool. He is awesome. We also went to the doctor yesterday due to a cough he has had for three weeks. The Dr thinks that it is either teething (lots of drainage from drool) or allergies....so we have started zyrtec. I am hoping that it is just due to the HUGE molars that are ALL coming in...all four!

Hope you enjoyed the pix. Stef did a great job capturing my sweet boy this morning.

continuing to try and enjoy the journey...

2010-08-06T14:14:00.002-04:00

I must admit yesterday was a rough day for me. I am tired. I am not a fan of living in limbo, I don't like change....and I need to know what is happening next. I am just being honest. This last week has been full of inspections, test, and appraisals at our current home. I am just ready to have an answer from the buyer, yes or no. I understand these are all necessary, but I do wish I wasn't put out of our house everytime. I am so fortunate to have my mom and dad just around the corner. They always accept us with open arms, and Camden has a nursery there. I can't complain, I am so fortunate to have a home. Afterall, it is just a place to live, our home is where my family is. So anyway, just venting and please know I believe we are so fortunate, there are just days that are hard. Especially for a girl who enjoys structure and organization and isn't too keen on change.

We should know something by next Wednesday. Our realtor is amazing...I mean, the best. She has taken such great care of us and really tolerates our daily phone calls and questions. She seems to be positive that the buyer wouldnt be going forward with all these tests and such if she wasn't interested. I really believe the windows are going to be an issue. I know that this wil work out according to God's will. So thankful for His direction. I am trying to put my plans and desires behind his!!

Em

no motivation

2010-08-03T19:55:00.002-04:00

fingers crossed....
I have had absolutely no motivation to blog for a while. I don't know if I just feel like when I have a free moment, I just don't want to think hard enough to write down thoughts or if I am coming to an end of my blogging days. I do love to look back and read through where we have been and what I was thinking. I just don't think that I have anything interesting to say, but I do like to blog selfishly, to document our life. So....I don't know what to do. I am in a pickle. This is really not a BIG decision in the grand scheme of things.....I do like how it keeps our family and friends updated too...see really random and skipping around. I don't know...I just feel like if I don't do it 3-5 times a week, I am not a successful blogger.....again just throwing my thoughts out there.

So anyway....here are some other thoughts. After tomorrow's inspection, we are hoping to have confirmation that we are moving....I have been packing over the last week. We just know that our buyer can withdraw from our contract if she thinks there is too much to repair. So our inspection is at 830 and then the buyer and her team will meet back here at 130 to discuss if they want to continue in the purchase of our home. I must admit, I am really excited about our new home and would be disappointed if this did fall through. I just know that if this is supposed to happen, it will. If this buyer falls through and God intends for us to move, he will provide a way. Speaking of our new home....I have posted a picture above. Now you know why I love it so much?!?!?! Our dear friends are the current owners and they have let us start painting Camden's room and the middle bathroom....another reason I am really attached. I just don't remember having to jump through all these hoops when we bought and sold in Florida.

Camden is hilarious...he is walking more and more. He looks like he may be a little tipsy and he navigates through life these days. We have removed coffee tables and other dangerous objects in case he does fall, which he does ALOT! He is loving the pool, and espcially all the time he gets to spend with friends in the pool. He is saying more and more and I noticed today he really understands what I am saying to him. For example, if you ask him to bring you the Elmo book, he will. If you ask him to give you love, he will (most of the time), if you play peek a boo, he starts saying "boo!" He is so much fun! I just love this little man.

So, we are grateful about where God is taking us. We are open to His call, and hoping that He continues to lead us and we follow obediently.

Em

Thankful

2010-07-29T10:01:00.003-04:00

Last night I met with my accoutability group and we decided to pray for our husbands. It was powerful, and it is so important. I think that most days I go by without praying for protection over my husband. That God would use him in his job to bring joy. That God would continue to grow us as a couple to make the best choices for our family and His plans for us. I am so grateful for that time (we missed you katie), and thankful for the ability to be open and honest with these ladies. God is teaching me to just continue to enjoy this journey....and boy has He moved. Our house officially has a contract on it...first hoop, but we seem to be moving forward. We are continuing to trust God in this, and that He will shut the door if it isn't what He wants for us.

Camden had his 15 month dr's appointment on Tuesday. He is 32" long/tall, 24 pounds 6 ounces and he looks great according to the dr. He said our biggest obstacle now is keeping him from having "accidents." Yeah right, I am doing my best, but short of a bubble, I think we are in for a few bumps and bruises in the future. He is a busy, busy boy!! The shots were horrible, he now knows they hurt and the nurse made me hold him down. I was looking into his eyes and she gave him the shots and he was screaming. I believe he was asking me why in the world are you lettin them hurt me? Colin and I fall more and more in love with this little guy everyday. He is such an amazing boy...we are so lucky.

Thanks for praying for us as we walk through this house/move situation. We are really excited to see where all this goes. If the contract we signed last night goes through, looks like we close on August 30th. WOW! I need to go find some boxes stat.

Em

Happenings

2010-07-23T15:06:00.002-04:00

Quiet few days on the home front. It has been nice not leaving the lights on and just letting Camden wreck the living room. Joy, our realtor is really good at giving us a heads up as to if the house is being shown. That way I can vacuum, spray some good smelling stuff, and leave every light on the house. Joy is holding an open house this weekend, we are hoping to get some good foot traffic through and get this place sold.

Camden is into hiding behind things and saying, "boo!" It is so funny. He is also loving his Elmo, and will grab the remote and point to the TV and chang "mo-mo." Is that bad? He loves Elmo. The only place he sees him is on the TV, so he LOVES TV. We limit it to 30 min before nap in the AM, and maybe while I am getting dinner ready. He is taking more and more steps, and I am sure soon he will be off. We have his 15 month appointment on Tuesday, which holds four shots! I am sure it will not be fun, but it is what is best for our little guy.

Colin is back in "Big Church" this weekend. He had rehearsal on Thursday night and will be gone tomorrow night and Sunday until early afternoon. I am sure he is excited to get back into the rotation in there. We are going to go to the 830 service and see daddy play guitar.

Getting ready to head over to the pool to spend some time with Grandma, Kristin, and Will. Love spending time with my fam and friends.

Relaxed, Calm, Anxious....repeat

2010-07-20T19:19:00.005-04:00

(Tree on the right...storm came through, and....)

....no more tree

(Camden and his newe buddy, Mo-Mo)

This house buying/selling thing is quite a journey. I have to admit that as long as I trust that God is in control, I am relaxed. When I realize that no matter what we have a great home, I am calm. Then the flesh side of me who wants to have my hands in everything and make it happen the way I want it to....I get anxious. Here is the deal, this life is all about loving God and loving people. Houses, cars, clothes, all that STUFF...momentary. God is forever, living for Heaven and being an example is what matters most. If I get caught up in this house buying/selling, I am going to miss out on people and other ways that God is trying to romance me. Sooooo....I am going to sit back and enjoy the ride. He has gotten us this far, why try and take the wheel now.

We have a contract on our new house with a contingency on selling our home. We have had four showings in the last four days and lots of great feedback. Last night Colin and I say on the front porch and just watched a thunderstorm roll through. This thunderstorm took out our bradford pear tree (pictured above)...some serious wind. Well when the tree guys came by to prune our tree, they noticed it was dead and that it would be better to remove it....so we have some new curb appeal. I kind of like it!!

I will keep you posted on my many emotions, but pray that I can enjoy this time and just watch and listen to God....
Em

Ohhh...how could I forget to add a little something about my boy? He has been taking steps and choosing to cruise more and more. I have posted a video on FB of his "cupid shuffle." He also has moved on from Yo Gabba Gabba (thank goodness) and onto Elmo, or "Mo Mo."

Temporary

2010-07-19T10:30:00.003-04:00

I have been trying to grasp the message Mike Breaux taught this weekend. The basis of the sermon was that this life is temporary, that we have everything to look forward to in Heaven. So what that means to me is that the present sufferings that we go through, all things that we go through...good and bad, are NOTHING compared to the hope we have in Heaven. Eternity with an amazing Father. So, so thankful for that promise. The hope of Heaven.....and that no matter what my circumstance, He will always be there.

Ecclesiastes 3:11
"Yet God has made everything beautiful in his own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's word from beginning to end."

Hoping to move...

2010-07-16T10:52:00.004-04:00

Soooooo, new news at the Stout home. We could be moving in the near future. We have some amazing friends, actually second set of parents, who are selling their home. It is a home where we had our couples wedding shower, my 30th birthday, and many more precious memories. It is a home, a beautiful place where we are hoping to be soon. This all happend within the last 5 days....FAST! The first step for us was to put our house on the market, which we did last night. Our realtor is money...the best, on top of it, and so efficient. She came by around 8 last night and snapped pictures and said it would be listed later today. Here is link http://search.lbar.com/mls/details/residential/1015607.html.

This is a bitter sweet move. We love our home so much. We realize how fortunate we are, and if our home doesn't sell, we still have an amazing place to live. So much has happened at this place. Last night before Colin and I went to bed he mentioned it was the longest place he has ever lived. Great memories of being newlyweds, our sweet baby boy, and celebrations galore. God is so good and HE continues to be in charge. We trust Him and His will, and His timing.

If you know anyone looking for a home, look us up!
Emily

PS Mom and Dad just found our camera!!!! Good thing I hadn't purchased our new one. YEAH!!! I guess I left it at the lake over the 4th of July weekend.

weekend.

2010-07-12T14:22:00.005-04:00

We had the best weekend! We spend most of it at Grandma and Grandaddy's new pool. We enjoyed splashing, laying out, and eating. Here are some pix of Camden taken from my phone...man i miss my camera. (mama and papa, we have found the one we like....now saving to purchase it).

Lots on the mind...

2010-07-08T09:21:00.002-04:00

This is going to be one of those random posts about what is on my mind and what I feel like God is teaching me. My biggest problem these days is slowing down to listen to God. I am unable to do the 7am up early read, pray, blog time because my little man is waking up earlier. Don't get me wrong, I love that time with Camden, but I am missing my quiet time. So as my days start earlier, I keep pushing back that time with God until I fall into bed at night and think, I didn't have my quiet time...ending my day disappointed in myself. Make sense? I find myself praying for people throughout my day as they come to mind, but I need time to listen, read, and thank God.

Camden is growing so fast. He now loves to climb the steps and then walk down the hall holding onto my fingers. I believe that walking is right around the corner, but for now he knows that he can get places faster when crawling. He absolutely loves Grandma and Grandaddy's pool. He can spend an hour on the steps playing with ducks, trucks, and balls. He loves for us to hold him so he floats on his belly, with tiny kicks. He also loves to be thrown up high into the air and then caught to make a big splash. He is hilarious. I made the mistake of taking him out of his ladybug float, so now he is over being confined to a float and more about us taking him around the pool. School is going well for our little guy. We are having a little bit of separation anxiety at first, but his teachers assure me he screams long enough for me to hear him as I leave and then he is happy with playing with all his new friends and eating cheerios. He is saying "mom," "duck," "quack," "ball," and "peez"

Work for me is wonderful. I love having those twelve hours to talk to adults and listen to others. I enjoy the people I get to work with each day. I am encouraged and feel needed. My favorite part of work so far is the Myers Briggs training we go through. I am learning so much about my personality and how I can relate better to others (work, home, family, ect). I am super excited that Colin is going to take the test and then walk through the results with our life group.

So that is what is going on in a nutshell. Need more time with God, loving camden and my job!
Still can't find my camera but have some great suggestions on replacing my old one (that is still in a super safe place).

4th Festivities

2010-07-06T09:24:00.002-04:00

We have had such a wonderful weekend. I love when Colin is home for THREE whole days, and so did Camden. There is something about having Colin around that just makes life more fun, I guess that is why I married him. He really is my best friend, and he knows how to make me laugh. It is also so nice to see him and Camden interact, he is an amazing dad. We started our weekend off at a cookout with some good friends. We love spending time with the Jennings' and the Feola fam (minus Katie and Jos, he was sick and you were both missed). We had burgers and dogs and just hung out and let the kids run/crawl around. On Saturday we got the call that the pool was officially open so we took our first dip in the Baxter Pool. The heater wasn't hooked up yet, but since it isn't deep it was pretty comfortable. (80). Camden loved floating in his ladybug raft (hand me down from Leann, thanks)...until he figured out how much fun it is to "swim" with mommy and daddy, and hang out on the steps. He loves the water. We are happy that he loves to be in the pool, but we also want to teach him how to swim and the boudaries of the pool. I think that he would swim all day if he could, swim...you know what I mean. We cooked out with the Jennings' fam again Saturday night, and Sophie and Riley approved of the pool.

Sunday we started off going to church for the 1010 service. Followed by another afternoon at the pool. The Vandemark family joined us for burgers, sweet potato fries, pasta salad, and some cookie cake. Charlie helped me sing "happy birthday USA" before we dove into the bright blue iced cake. We kept Camden up to 730 two nights in a row and I really believe the later we get him to sleep, the earlier he wakes up, what??? If we get him down at 6:45 or 7 he sleeps until 8. Who knows....

Monday we drove down to Lake Herrington to spend time with the Stout family. Dennis has this beautiful gazebo that we spend the afternoon in watching the kids play. Katelyn and Camden had so may toys that Grandma Deb brought. We enjoyed burgers and dogs, fresh fruit, and some amazing cake Deb made. Colin and I got to sneak a ride on a jet ski, but really just enjoyed time with the family.

Overall it was such a wonderfully relaxing weekend and I know that we are blessed to live in the USA, but to have family and friends to celebrate our freedom.

PS still no camera. I will upload some pix from my iphone....I guess i need to buy a new camera now. It has been over a month, and it is still MIA. I am sure I put it in a really "safe" place.

slacker...

2010-06-29T07:35:00.002-04:00

Hi my name is Emily and I am a slacker. My sweet boy has started waking up around 730, so I haven't had time to read AND blog....I need to find another time for blogging I guess. Our days are fun filled and busy. Work, school, and playdates. We are also looking forward to Grandma and Grandaddy's pool being completed. I am sorry this is so short and sweet, it is 730....going to hang with my sweet baby.

By the way, lost my camera, that is the reason for no updated pix. Sorry Mama, Papa, and Nana Pam :(

A is for Apple

2010-06-15T07:50:00.003-04:00

So I am still reading my Dobson book (yes, I am a slow reader, especially if I want to comprehend). My books are very marked up and flagged....in hopes I can find information good points in the future. So I was reading about school and boys today, and just bought a CD on how to teach Camden to read....seriously! I think that I may have jumped the gun, but I will be ready (in like 3 years). I also bought another Dobson book Dare to Discipline, I love PayPal...don't know if Colin will so much. I just want to be prepared....I do not intend to start teaching Camden to read tomorrow...I just get anxious when I read and don't want Camden to fail. I understand that he will take risks (I want him to do that), and because of the risk, he will fail. In those moments he will learn so much. I just want to be there to pick him up, and let him know it is OK. I want to do my best to prepare him, I don't want to create a bubble. I want to teach him how to know the difference between right and wrong...and to listen to the Holy Spirit. I want so much for this little guy.....ultimately I know it is not about what I want though. So after calming down, I decided to pray and just give Camden to God for the millionth time in 14 months. So thankful that I am not alone in this. God has the plans....I am just hear to love, encourage, and pray (ALOT).

Now where are my alphabet flashcards....I have to teach that boy to read today!

Love

2010-06-08T07:08:00.002-04:00

I am still reading my book about boys and am finding it so informative. For one, I am not a boy, so I am learning what to expect in raising a little guy. Two, this world is all about women. Women and men could say or do similar things, and men would be punished and women would be considered comedians. I am floored that there really aren't any shows on TV that depict men as masuline, leaders of their homes, biblical, role models. I am all about women being successful, but I am also about the male being the leader of the home, the bread winner. I want Camden to learn how to treat women with respect, open doors, use kind words and actions. We are already teaching Camden now about how to be nice to mommy and his friends that are girls. If he hits me, we take a firm grasp on his hand and look him in the eye and tell him not to hit mommy. I want Camden to be a gentleman, I want people to look to him as a role model, as a person who will stand up for them. I want him to see the good in people. I pray that God put Godly men in his path as he grows up. He has an amazing Great-Papa, Grandaddy, Grandpa, Uncle, Dad, ect but I want him to be surrounded with coaches, friends, ect that can help us raise him. I am realizing how much of a responsibility parenting is, and I know that God is the greatest example to follow. I hope to teach Camden to ultimately love God and love people.

Camden

2010-06-07T10:37:00.003-04:00

As you know I have the fabulous son named Camden. He is so fun! I took him to the Dr last week (due to coughing and snot) and was so impressed with how he and the Dr interacted. Camden really understands what he is hearing....the Dr checked his ears and had all kinds of tricks to get him to sit still. He would whisper in Camden's ear not to move, and sure enough Cam wouldn't move. He loves hats, loves to put them on his head, take them off his head, put them on your head, take them off your head and on and on. We are teaching him to use gentle hands, please, thank you, kiss, and hug. He enjoys standing, no steps yet...I think we are close. He loves to put things in boxes and take them out. He loves his baby pool and bathtime. You will see him sticking his head into the water and blowing bubbles. Since he has been going to school and the nursery at church he has learned how to scream when someone tries to take his toys....so we are trying to teach the concept of sharing. He enjoys sweet potatoes, any kind of meat and FRUIT! The boys LOVES fruit. I am thrilled that I get to spend my days with this little gift. I just sat and stared at him this morning and thought about how much I loved him....

less or more

2010-06-04T07:10:00.003-04:00

Quiet mornings are my new thing. I enjoy this time before Camden wakes up (although he did spend the night with Gma and Gdaddy). I have my Passion music blaring and am able to sit, listen, read, write, and sing....you should be thrilled you can't hear me. I can tell when I don't start my day like this....if I am rushed and miss this time. Today I am thankful for so many things and am praying for a few friends specific needs. (Em P and Leigh, love ya).

Romans 8:28

28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[a] who[b] have been called according to his purpose.

The unknown is never easy. I like to always know what is coming next...I like to plan as much as I can so I can be prepared. I am learning to live in faith, which is opposite of my calender and my plans. I read the other day to give God a good laugh, tell Him your plans. I think I give God a belly laugh more then once a day. I want to be available for the Spirit to move whenever and wherever, I find that if I am focus on my plans, I miss those prompts. My prayer is I can become even more in tune to His working inside me so I can better love others. My goal, less of me and more of Him!

praise!!

2010-06-03T19:47:00.002-04:00

I had a very good Dr's appointment today. The cardiologist said she could see why my doctor thought my EKG was abnormal, however there were absolutely NO concerns. She said she doesn't see any red flags and that I am healthy. I really liked Dr Rugg, she sat and listened to me and asked a ton of great questions...very thorough. So....a clean bill of health. God is so good. Thanks for praying and now celebrating with me!

Pictures....don't miss post below

2010-06-03T07:30:00.000-04:00

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Happenings....

2010-06-03T06:53:00.003-04:00

I don't know where this blog is going to go today. I am up early...enjoyed my coffee, some reading, and now I just feel compelled to write. I wish I was one of those great writers who could paint a beautiful picture, weave all my thoughts together and then tie it all up with a pretty bow at the end....but that isn't me. I got extra credit in college for going to the writing center so much. I have never been a great writer. When I take a look back at my past posts though, I see where I was, what I was thinking, and how I was feeling. I feel like this is such a great outlet and way for me to see how God is moving in my life. So, I am sorry if I ramble, but that is the way it is going to be! :)

My hubs has had a crazy week so far. I am so thankful that we had this past three day weekend together. We didn't do much of anything and it was so nice just to be together. He needs more down time like that. He is constantly on the go....he is an amazing husband and dad. Last night during Camden's bath, Cam just kept saying "da da" and I just kept telling him, dada loves you little man. Colin is a very hard worker....he gives everything 150%, and this week he is focused on work and moving the business. This is an unusual week, he is usually home for dinner and he always gives Camden his bath. So I miss him. I am so proud of him, and he has been sending me sweet emails and texts to let me know he is thinking of us.

Camden is darn near walking. He spends most of his time "Cruising" around furniture and walking behind things. I just think that he gets places faster crawling, so that is what he does. He has stood on his own for 2-3 seconds a few times. He is so proud of himself....especially when we all start clapping and screaming....hence the short time of 2-3 seconds, we totally throw him off. He is such a great little boy. Happy and hilarious. He loves climbing the steps (with help) and opening and shutting everything. I took him to the Dr yesterday, he coughs like a seal, and he spent our time waiting turning on and off the lights in the room. He would look at me as if to say "can you believe this?" He also enjoys his bath....he dips his face in the water trying to blow bubbles, and especially proud when he places a toy on the side of the tub. Last night we played a game where he would knock it off the side, I would make a noise and he would cackle...laugh hard. It was so fun! He is also obssessed with this pig bank on his changing table. As soon as he wakes up or walks in his room, he points and wants me to snort. Pure excitement these days at the Stout house....

I am loving my new job at church. It is so nice to have adult conversations. I love the people I work with, and love my job. Did I mention I loved my job? It is perfect for me....God knows what he is doing. See I don't know how to tie the pretty bow at the end here to tie all my random thoughts together....so ....cheers.

answers

2010-06-02T19:02:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow is my appointment with Dr. Rugg, the cardiologist. I have been feeling great, and know that God has been giving me peace over the last week. Thanks for praying for me, I know that I have been covered. I am looking forward to finally having an answer as to if there is an issue with my heart OR if it was just the machine. I am leaning toward the latter (sp). It will be nice to know that I am good to go. I have been eating better and watching my caffeine intake. I have been advised that Zyrtec D causes your heart to race, add caffeine, and not eating right I thing would cause anyone to feel shaky and anxious?

We have big things happening over the next few weeks. Colin's company is moving locations, YIPPEEEE, closer to home and easier to sneak over there for lunch and a quick hug from daddy. It is going to be a long week with LOTS of stuff to move, but in the end it will be AWESOME! My parents are also in the process of putting a pool in their backyard....yeah. They have all kinds of hurdles they have to jump through before it is for sure. I am so excited, and guarded just in case it doesn't happen. Electric lines and septic tanks seem to cause problems with pool placement, makes sense. I am looking forward (guardedly) to many gatherings around that pool....please, please, please!!

I will keep you posted on my Dr's appointment. It is at 11:15.

Em

Refresh

2010-06-01T09:48:00.003-04:00

Thoughts about serving....
My accoutability group has been talking about ways we can serve and love the community. We have been thinking that it is time for us to go and love others. Almost two years ago my Nana had a stroke. She was placed in the Hospice unit at St. Joe, and I have never seen such love in my life. She had the best care, and was truly loved over her final weeks. The nurses and Dr's not only took great care of my nana, but the loved us too. They sat in the room and told us incredible stories, they are amazing, faithful people. They deal with death, and have a firm grasp on God and His amazing love. Nana was loved until her last breath. She had a nurse that she just adored and when she heard that Nana passed, she came in and just hugged her. She had invested in my Nana, she had a few conversations with my Nana, and appreciated her fiestiness. She was nicknamed "sunshine" from my nana, and I know that when our family was not there, Sunshine was....and the rest of the Hospice staff. I can't say enough about how much Hospice means to me....I can't imagine walking through what they do each day. To be honest death scares me....which is why I find it wierd that God is opening my heart and I feel like leading me towards loving the staff and patients at Hospice. I dont know what that looks like yet, but I do have a contact, and I am praying that this happens. Even if it is simply praying, hugging, or giving a flower to a family member who is sad. I wonder if there is a patient who doesn't have any family....I am open, just gonna follow.

Lake

2010-05-29T18:52:00.005-04:00

Helping Grandaddy drive the boat
Loving on Uncle Mac

He LOVED his first boat ride. Thanks Will for letting us borrow the life jacket

My sweet boy...love the hat

We had such a great day at the lake today. We missed our friends the Kempers and the Howards, but had some quality family time. Laying out, boat ride, and a delicious dinner made of for the lack of naps from our little man. He was just too excited about everything happening around him.

update....

2010-05-29T09:12:00.002-04:00

Friends, I feel so loved. Thanks for the calls, emails, and posts. I am fine...promise, just anxious. My appointment is this Thursday. At first I was disappointed because I really wanted to go this past week, but then my friend Katie told me that was incredibly fast to get in with a specialist. My friend Leann told me she knows of the Dr and that she is really good. So many of you are praying for me, and understand my complete issue with anxiety. Thank you. I love ya. Looking forward to a fun Memorial Day weekend with my family. Have a safe weekend yourself!

More then Conquerers

2010-05-27T07:18:00.004-04:00

So this morning, I turned on my music and sat down in my cozy chair with my coffee and grabbed my Dobson book....only to feel the spirit telling me to put that down and get my bible. I got up and opened my bible to Romans, and I feel He led me to Romans 8. What a breath of fresh air for me. I have had a weird couple of days health wise. I haven't felt terrible, just really shaky (sp). I hold a glass and shake, I type and shake....now am I anxious or is this something real. To rule out the "realness" I went to the Dr. yesterday and told her my symptoms. She ran a quick EKG and it came back abnormal....seriously? After she told me my EKG was abnormal she said "now let's listen to your heart..." I told her it was about to pop out of my chest. I left the office yesterday with fear....I am waiting to hear when I have an appt with a cardiologist. My Dr said that it may be the machine, but for peace of mind she wants me to follow up. Thank goodness, I am thankful for her thoroughness, but now my head is spinning. So, this is why God led me to Romans, and why as I sat down to type this Christy Nockels "healing is in your hands" came on. Isn't our God good?

Today I am resting in Him, covered by His love....high, wide and no matter where I am. He is there. I am thankful that NOTHING can keep me from God, and that He has walked before me, He will never leave me, and loves me so much. With Him we are more then conquerors.

Romans 8:29-30 (The Message)
29-30God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.

I went through and made the you version of this scripture....(Romans 8:29-30 personalized)

God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the life of you along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in line for you, he restored you. We see the original and intended shape of your life in him. After God made that decision of what you should be like, he followed it up by calling you by name. After he called you by name, he set you on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting you established, he stayed with you to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.

Why?

2010-05-24T11:26:00.002-04:00

Maybe Sampson would need a new house too...
For some reason I feel like God is really tugging at my heart these days. I am trying to be aware of His promptings and to act accordingly. Honestly, some of the tugging He does is uncomfortable. Some of the tugging I try to justify is me, and not Him and ignore it....but then I realize it was Him. One I am trying to discern is our home. Colin and I are so fortunate. We live in a beautiful house and great neighborhood. Great schools, neighbors, and family minutes away. Over the last six months we have been out and about looking for new houses and we don't know why. It is fun to look...right? I like to imagine our family in a new home, how would we decorate, would it be good for hosting parties, how about the yard....shady,1 acre or 5 acres? can we put in a pool? I try to picture down the road when Camden is in school....will he like having his friends over? I don't know, the biggest thing I look for when walking in a home is will it fit a HUGE table for our family Thanksgiving....is that crazy? I need a room that will hold 20+ family and friends once a year. That is a deal breaker for me (and I would like the laundry room on the same floor with the bedrooms). I guess I enjoy being a hostess, I want to make sure I can entertain my guests and that everyone has a place to sit and chat. I need a good place for food to be served, and a spot where I can put my ipod to play some of my favorite tunes. All this to say....do I want to move or is God calling us to move? I don't know, I am willing....

Lucky

2010-05-20T07:48:00.004-04:00

I love this book by James Dobson. I think that I am a wee bit traditional when it comes to family life. I do believe that Colin should be the head of our home and the main bread winner. That I am to clean, cook (I do my best), and care for Camden. I do love that I have the opportunity to work 8 hrs a week. I do believe that if my working outside the home (so few hours) began to take a toll on Camden, I would walk away. I believe my first priority is a mom. I believe that I have been entrusted with a very special gift. I am so thankful for this little guy. He is growing into this sweet little boy...I guess he is a toddler now, I can't accept that my baby is a toddler. He no longer takes any bottles, he eats three meals a day, two snacks, and is almost walking. He has a sweet demeanor and loves to dance. Right now it is a toe tap be bop, but I love it. All this said, he brings me joy. My ability to be a mom is more then I could ever ask for. I am a lucky girl and so thankful for my boy.