Cart before the Horse

So last night I added the Follistim shot to my already daily dose of Lupron. My friend Nakada is a pro at the Follistim shots (she is expecting twins in February), and she offered some instruction and moral support in this new injection. It reminds me of an eppie pen, but a wee bit more expensive. The needle wasn't too bad it was the amount of medicine I had to inject into my leg. It seemed like I was pushing down FOREVER! It left a pretty nice bruise too. I stay on both shots until my appointment this Friday, and hopefully they will cut back on the amount of Follistim I have to put into my body. I am still having headaches, but can function normally throughout the day with an Alleve.

My mom and I had to go to Babies R Us today to buy a couple of gifts for upcoming showers and I couldn't help but look around a little bit. I found some really, really cute bedding, some camouflauge stroller, pack and play, and carseat (for Colin), and other little things. I am putting the cart before the horse, but it sure was fun! I will let you know tomorrow if I get a matching bruise on the other leg....it's totally worth it!

Em

How old are you?

What a day! I woke up early this morning so that I could get to Dr. Akin between 8 and 9 for my ultrasound and bloodwork. God was so good and gave me a great nights sleep, even when my head and heart were very anxious. I constantly have to cling to Phillipian 4:6,

6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

It was really cool to walk into Dr. Akin's office this morning and see a few of the other girls I had met last week at our education class. We talked about who did our shots, side effects, and just the excitement of the next few weeks. I need to get their names/emails so I can keep in touch after IVF. Our nurse Gayle said she could not tell us who had successful pregnancies after this process. I was called back for blookwork first and met a really nice lady (I can't remember her name, Christa). We somehow got on the subject of Dr. Butler and realized we were both blessed to be his patients. She told me about a time she had a miscarriage and how he really ministered to her and loved on her throughout the process. She metioned how good God had been during that time, and that she knew as hard as it was to lose that baby, it was ultimately His plan. She then told me she was also my embryologist (sp), the one who will care, nurture, and love my babies until the make it home to my womb. I just wanted to hug her after the short time we spent together. She really was a wonderful person and I can't wait to see her Friday, Monday, and over the next few weeks.

After my bloodwork, I had to have my ultrasound. Dr. Akin mentioned that residents would be doing some of our labwork, but I didn't realize he would have a 12 year old perform my ultrasound. Seriously, he did a great job, but am I getting that old. (He was probably fresh out of med school, talk about awkward). After my ultrasound I was told I needed to cut back on the shot I had been giving myself over the past week and start the Follistim tonight. (this will hopefully stimulate my follicles, and begin developing my eggs).

To keep me busy until 4:30 (if I didn't hear from Gayle and Dr. Akin today, that meant all my levels were good and I could continue on with IVF this month), I went up to Louisville with Jan and Mom for the day. I found some cute tops (that if needed could expand) at Ann Taylor Loft and enjoyed my favorite tuxedo cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory. We got home right at 4:30 and I am HAPPY to report.....no phone call! We are on. YES!! Thank you for all your prayers and encouragement, I love ya.

Em

Headaches stink!

I was down for the count yesterday. I woke up feeling great and actually went on a 45 minute walk with my friend Nakada and then did some yoga when I got home. Around 12:00 my head started pounding. I hadn't eaten anything and was beginning to get hungry when Colin called (he had gone to hand some tree stands for hunting) and offered to bring me some lunch. By the time he got home, I was sick to my stomach and having sharp pains behind my right eye. I could only eat half a sandwich and popped in an extra strengh alleve, turned off all the lights, shut my shades and closed my eyes. A few hours later I woke up feeling good enough to shower and watch some TV. It was a rough day, but not too bad considering I haven't had any side effects from my shots yet. (Migraines/Headaches are one side effect). Colin is playing at church this weekend so when he got home around 7 I felt good enought to make a few baked potatoes and sit with him.
Tomorrow is a big day! I start my ultrasounds and bloodwork every four days, along with a new shot. Leading to next Tuesday...which is when we find out our retrieval day. Please pray that I do NOT hear from Dr. Akin tomorrow. His nurse Gayle said if she has to call tomorrow it is because my estrogen levels are too low, and they will recommend bumping IVF to next month. Mom, Jan (my second mom), and I are heading to Louisville to shop at Pottery Barn and eat at the Cheesecake Factory so I don't stay glued to my phone worrying about it ringing. This is all coming together, and I can't believe that within a month I could be pregnant!

Never Let Go....

I am stuck on this song by David Crowder, and just can't get enough of it. I love the words:

When clouds veil sun

and disaster comes

oh my soul, oh my soul

When waters rise

and hope takes flight

oh my soul, oh my soul

oh my soul

Ever faithful, ever true

you are known

you never let go

You never let go, you never let go,

you never let go

When clouds brought rain

and disaster came

oh my soul, oh my soul

When waters rose

and hope had flown

Oh my soul, oh my soul

Oh my soul, overflows

oh what love, oh what love

Oh my soul, fills with hope

perfect love that never lets go

Joy and pain

sun and rain

you're the same

you never let go

I just found and watched this video on youtube and loved it. I have a very selfish attitude and tend to be so, so, so self-centered. I am consumed with me and my problems and my journey, my story and ignore others needs. God help me see with your eyes, guide me through this life with my focus less on me and more on you. Colin and I were really convicted this past weekend about serving together in the community. I need to get on that. This video is about five minutes but really worth watching.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRfcARM8OwI

Love ya!

Thoughts?

So I went over to my mom and dad's today to pick them up for lunch on Harry's patio and I had some mail delivered to their house. It was addressed to Emily Baxter and had a ton of coupons, and also a postcard from A Helping Hand Adoption Agency. I had never heard of this agency and when I got home from lunch I took a look at their website.

http://www.worldadoptions.org/.

Check out their mission statement:

We Will Care

We will care for the orphan wherever he may be found.If he is thirsty, we will give him drink.If he is hungry, we will give him bread.If he is naked, we will clothe him.If he is homeless, we will shelter him.If he is without comfort, we will hold him until he knows the love of his Heavenly Father.This is our mission at A Helping Hand Adoption Agency.

They are a christian based agency and provide both domestic and international adoptions. I looked through their website for about an hour and was really impressed. I don't know what to think of it, I am so excited about this IVF process and the possibility of having a baby on our own. I think that I will tuck this website away and be thankful that this could be another form of hope for us down the road. Right now I am just going to continue praying for God's will to be done if that is through IVF or adoption, I can't wait to see. Not mine but yours....

Em

Don't be Jealous....

So this is the most amazing, loving, supportive, encouraging, incredible man in my life. (My dad is also just as amazing). I know that many of you are probably weak in the knees checking out this stud of a man, I apologize if it may cause you to stumble....we have had a crazy week with our friends from Atlanta, work, shots, and other odds and ends around the Stout house and I am looking forward to a cozy night in tonight. Well after we meet my team teacher and her hubs at school to put our new easel together and catch a bite to eat. There is nothing like getting in your pj's, washing your face, and snuggling up on the couch....especially if it is raining :)

Shots are progressing nicely and I am pretty much a professional "shotter" now. If you ever need assistance with shots feel free to call me, although I don't think I could administor them in anyone else Colin says I go too slow. Oh! By the way my prayer has been answered!!! Thanks for praying for me friends. I love ya.

Pray what????

We are still enjoying our friends from Atlanta and right now I am babysitting my new friend Addisyn. She is such a good baby, and I have enjoyed the practice. Right now she is in her little seat that vibrates and can't figure out if she really likes it or not. I have been told that it is okay if she cries and that I don't need to immediatly rush over and cradle her....which is really hard.

As for our IVF adventure, I finished up birth control on Saturday and have been doing my injections each night. The injections are really not too bad. I have been doing them in my legs, which aren't bruising like my belly did. Here is the craziest prayer request......please pray that I start my period this week. (sorry to be so blunt). If I don't they will have to put me back on to regulate me and bump retrieval and implantation back a month. I know that everything is in God's timing, but I really want His timing to be this month! I have been praying for three years that I don't start my period so this has been an adjustment for me.

I also went into school today and started working on a couple bulletin boards. Mom went in with me and was a HUGE help, she is so good to me. Heading back tomorrow morning, trying to knock things out early so I can rest up with all these procedures hopefully coming up. We love ya.