Trimester Two.

(13 weeks, we have reached the 2nd trimester!!)

Well I woke up today at 8:30 (or so I thought it was 8:30), the Stout's forgot about the "fall back" and I was up and at em at 7:30. That would be awesome if I could tackle my to do list without the help of others. My poor husband is getting sick of being my hands and feet! I am thankful that he and so many others are ok with me bossing them around. I hate it, but I know that is what this baby needs. I owe you all! (You probably won't want me to cook a meal in return, but I love organizing and cleaning).



Taylor is just so tired all the time. Seeing her this way makes it easier to do what has to be done tomorrow. It just still sucks. I have been trying to get some of her things (bones, balls, toys, etc) put away, so I won't have to see them laying around tomorrow. Isn't that psycho?



As for Baby Stout....he/she is the size of a lime at 13 weeks. I am in awe that we are actually that far along. I will post the picture I got from Baby Center. We read last night that our sweet baby has eyelids and is actually beginning to breath in and out, suck, and open and close his/her mouth. You will notice this picture looks much more like a baby....well we are no longer and embryo, we are a fetus!



God is so good...He gives and takes away. During this time we are so blessed to have this little life growing inside of me.

Dang-it!

Today has been a sucky day. I don't know any other way to put it. Colin and I have been growing more and more concerned about Taylor's health and talked about making a decision every night this past week. Each conversation ended with me asking, "Is it going to be tomorrow?" Colin would reassure me not tomorrow, but soon. Well this morning I just knew that soon had come. Taylor just isn't comfortable, she is extremely skinny, and isn't really eating. As Colin and I sat outside I just broke down, he was so sweet, but I am just so sad. My tears continued as I went back upstairs and got in bed, they continued in the shower, and now they just hit me on and off when I look at her. Colin went to get us lunch today at Taco Bell (at least I am eating, and I can't help craving a little soft taco), he touched base with Doctor Burns, the vet. Dr. Burns was not going to be in the office much longer today and we didn't want to do anything until my mom, dad, and Mac got to spend some time with Taylor. Dr Burns was extremely supportive and had been waiting for our call, he said with the amount of cancer in her body he was really surprised she had made it this long. So "soon" is on Monday morning. I am so heartbroken, but know that Taylor has lived a long, happy, healthy life and it is her time to go to Heaven.....yes I believe dogs go to Heaven! We decided to stay home tonight and not take our usual field trip to church. I am sitting on the couch loving on my sweet dog..so thankful for the ten years I have had with her. Love you guys.
Em

HaPpY hAlLoWeEn!

Happy Halloween friends! I was thinking that this time next year, I will have my own little friend in a costume to show off. I can't wait! This has been such a great day already. I woke up and wrote three narratives for our first term assessments, had a good breakfast, and a long, hot shower. My dad called around 11:00 and said that my Nana's headstone had been delivered to the cemetary and wanted to know if I wanted to take a field trip out to see it. I couldn't wait to see what my dad had picked out to honor my Nana's life, and it was perfect. It was bench made of black granite with her named etched in the side. We are going to plant rose bushes around it in the spring. It will be a place that all of us can go (if I can find it again) to sit and reflect on all our memories of Nana (fiesty Nana).
The biggest surprise is that my mom let me go visit my kids at school today. I have been missing them like crazy and itching to go and see them for the last few weeks. I was waiting for them in the teacher chair when they got back from lunch. I don't know who was more excited to see who....I had to hold the tears back, I don't think they would understand why I was so emotional!?! I got 22 hugs, heard about all of their costumes and Halloween plans, we talked about their favorite candy and then they begged to see my most recent picture of the baby. I adore these kids and really miss each of their smiling faces. It was such a gift to SIT and visit with them today (I promise Jennafer).
I hope everyone enjoys their evening tonight. Colin and I are having my brother and his girlfriend over for dinner and to pass out candy. After the Trick-or-Treaters pass through some of Colin's buddies are coming over to play Rock Band. It should be a fun night.
Em

Tears

I feel like everyday I keep getting hit with some sort of bad news, hurting friends, broken hearts, sickness, etc. I know that God is bigger than every situation, and that when we go through these hard times He is there beside us, sometimes carrying us through the storm. I just wish I knew what to say or do to make the situations/people feel better. I wish I knew how to take away the pain. My friend Jess told me today that maybe I was on bed-rest so I could pray for my friends. I have had many conversations with God over the past three weeks, and believe that He is listening....I just wish He would protect us from hurt/pain. I do know that the one thing He did promise is that this life would not be easy and pain free. My prayer is that my friends feel the presence of God like they never have before. That the know they are loved and accepted. I pray that they know each tear that falls from their eyes is being kept in a safe place and God knows what each tear stands for. I just know that this is part of life and instead of trying to fix the situations I need to LOVE the person during the time they are enduring the pain. I want to create a safe place where we can laugh, encourage, and love on these friends. I am praying for opportunities to love them.

If you have any prayer requests let me know. I would love to know how to pray for you.
Love ya.
Em

Fiesta

Today I have had pretty productive day. I finished our classroom budget for 2009-2010, I revised our January 2009 Newsletter, read, and finished three word searches. I am gearing up for a fiesta with our small group tonight. Vandee has promised to work his magic in the kitchen to create a mexican feast. I am excited for the company. We are also going to talk through the first chapter of "Love Languages."

My mom and dad came over and spent the afternoon with me. Jaci, dropped off some assessments for me to begin writing all 22 narratives for our first term report cards, and Stef brought me my new hoody and some pix from their trip from Marco Island. All and all, ,very good day full of friends, family, and fun.

God is teaching me to rely on Him, and to see/hear/trust Him during this down time. I am praying that by our next appointment (2 weeks from today) that the bloodclot will be GONE! Love you guys.
Em

Stir CrAzY

So.....I think I am on the verge of going what they call "stir crazy." I am trying to tell my mind that this is not that bad, but then I think about how long I have been sitting/laying and how much longer I have to go and I go ......Crazy! I did leave the house last night and go to my parents for dinner. I did keep my feet up, and actually did enjoy the change in venue. Please pray that I don't lose it....that I can appreciate the time I have been given to rest. I know that anyone would love to be told to rest, so I shouldn't complain. However, this is out of control. Couch, bed, chair, swing, couch, bed, etc....it gets a wee bit like Groundhog's Day. Sorry to complain.......

Mom is coming over today and we are going to start making some Christmas candy. Today we are tackling peanut butter rolls and soon bourbon balls. I would also like to make a batch of pumpkin chip bread for the girls at work. I am so glad that my momma is coming over.....Well I am out and apologize for my venting session. Love you guys.
Em

Did I mention.....

That we are supposed to be in Florida right now? Colin and I had booked a trip with two other couples, the Head's and the Ranson's , to Marco Island, Florida months ago, pre-pregnancy. We knew we were going through with IVF, but calculated that I would be way early in the pregnancy, able to fly, and hopefully over the morning sickness. When we planned the trip we didn't realize that God had other plans. We have caught up with the crew a few times this weekend and it sounds like they are having an amazing time, little overcast, but they are still thrilled to be on vacation. (By the way Judge Judy, fun fact from Tom, lives just down the water from them, be good friends). I am so happy because they are buying me a new hoody from Marco. If you know me, you know my absolute obsession with hooded sweatshirts (I have one on right now as I type). They are so snuggly and wonderful and warm and ....sorry.

What is ironic about cancelling this trip is that it is the second time this year we have had to cancel a trip to Florida. My whole family was heading down to Naples in June and my Nana passed away. Now I know that I was where I needed to be this summer, and I know that I am where I need to be right now.....but man how I wish for that Florida sun!

Colin and I have two plane tickets that we want to use to take a trip in December. We are going to head up to Chicago (as long as I am not on bedrest) to visit my cousin, his girlfriend, and meet up with my Aunt and Uncle. I am in hopes that this works out because I love Chicago, and I love spending time with my family. Maybe Colin and I could fork out a few extra bucks to stay at a nice hotel and have a few nice dinners....no sense in shopping, but maybe some new shoes or a HOODY??

My sweet husband just walked in the door with a Starbuck's vanilla steamer, bagel, and a smile. He is the greatest! We are going to sit by the fire, read, eat, watch TV, all those good things made better with him.

Love ya.
Em