Let's call them quills

This week in Esther, I am learning on how to find the root of my quills....what? I don't know about you, but when I feel threatened, something spikes up on me that puts me into protective, defensive, 'oh no you didn't" mode. I am learning that typically my anger is rooted in jealousy and pain. If I am hurt...they go up....if I am jealous, they go up (I think they are longer when I am jealous). "We swap pain for anger because it is easier for a while" Beth Moore.

I am walking through the storyline of Mordecai and Haman to see this picture of "mean." Haman is a rotten, jealous, angry, jerk of a man. He just can't see past himself in many situations, he has REALLY big quills and he likes to poke people all the time (and I am not talking the Facebook kind).

Proverbs 18:7-8 (The Message)
7 Fools are undone by their big mouths;

their souls are crushed by their words.

I am just gonna be honest...I am a fool. I am really trying to learn to keep my mouth shut. I am trying to filter through my thoughts and not say things because it makes me funny or cool. I want to be a good listener, I don't want my words to get me into trouble. Words and quills can kill relationships, family, friends, etc. I don't want to miss out on a beautiful friend because of something I say or a reaction I have had. My new process in dealing with my quills is as follows.

PRAYER!!! Lots of prayer, and asking for God to pinpoint the root of my anger...in all honesty it is me most of the time. It is my thoughts, words that get my quills going. I want God to show me if it is my insecurity that causes the quills.

"If we discern something evil of suspicious, God calls us to take our concerns to Him with deepest humility, intercede earnestly, and ask what-if anything- we should do. " Beth Moore

DISCUSS with a trusted friend/hubs (not everyone) if they think it is in my head or if it is something I should do something about....conversation? Then back to praying.

CONVERSATION if needed, approach the person or SELF and humbly walk through the conversation....but before the conversation back to step one....LOTS And Lots of PRAYER!

Am I the only one that wants to run and be on the defense the minute you feel threatened? Does anyone else have quills? I am also praying that I have much thicker skin and a very thin heart so that I can be slow to anger. Would you pray for your angry friend....

"the bolts of your (my) gates will be iron and bronze, and your (my) strength will equal your days" Deut 33:25

Esther

So over the last month I have been learning all about the book of Esther thanks to an amazing bible study by Beth Moore. I get to meet with 15+ girls every other Monday and we walk through the study and talk how it applies to our lives as women....and somedays it just isn't easy being a woman....amen? All this to say is that yesterday in "big church" Jon taught about Esther. I felt so cool, I really knew what he was talking about, I knew the characters and the story line. I felt like an expert. I love the story of Esther. I love her faithfulness, and her inner beauty. I love that she takes on the challenge of what God created her for. I love that she listens and obeys. I love that she came from such heartache (losing both parents) and humbly rose to the top....She gives me hope that I was made for such a time as this.

This made me think...what if I was familiar with every character in the bible? What if I knew about each person's story? I am that girl who when told to look up a certain book in the bible, I immediately begin to sweat and then look at the Table of Contents. I don't want others to see that I don't know where certain books are (I know Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Romans...and about where Ephesians and Phillipians are). I am grateful that they put the verses on the screens in big church, by the time I get to them in my bible.....let's just say the sermon is over. I have a paperclip where Esther is in my bible, so during my study it is really easy to locate my girl.

So, back to my point. I want to make an effort to spend more time in the word. To really get to know the people in the bible. To know the stories. Hopefully, Esther is my starting point.

Fun Fall Festivities

Upon entering the orchard, Camden couldn't believe all the "ball(s)" in front of him!
Sweet face

Grandaddy and Grandma

Got his very own pumpkin

There was even a petting zoo.....loved this picture

Camden fed the donkeys and billy goats (no fear)

So much fun

me and mommy

Apple Train

You should have seen mommy climbing into the BIG chair

It was a beautiful day to enjoy the orchard!

We took our annual trip to Boyd Orchard's today with Grandma and Grandaddy....we had a blast!

A New Look...

....for my blog. I have decided to ask a savy blog designer to help me. Hopefully in the next few weeks or so, I will be sporting a new look. As for now, enjoy the pix of Camden and Daddy helping around the house. (during these pictures, we realized Sampson was missing, thankfully he wasn't far, and we met some of our neighbors in the process)