Thursday, July 31, 2008


So I went over to my mom and dad's today to pick them up for lunch on Harry's patio and I had some mail delivered to their house. It was addressed to Emily Baxter and had a ton of coupons, and also a postcard from A Helping Hand Adoption Agency. I had never heard of this agency and when I got home from lunch I took a look at their website.
Check out their mission statement:

We Will Care
We will care for the orphan wherever he may be found.If he is thirsty, we will give him drink.If he is hungry, we will give him bread.If he is naked, we will clothe him.If he is homeless, we will shelter him.If he is without comfort, we will hold him until he knows the love of his Heavenly Father.This is our mission at A Helping Hand Adoption Agency.

They are a christian based agency and provide both domestic and international adoptions. I looked through their website for about an hour and was really impressed. I don't know what to think of it, I am so excited about this IVF process and the possibility of having a baby on our own. I think that I will tuck this website away and be thankful that this could be another form of hope for us down the road. Right now I am just going to continue praying for God's will to be done if that is through IVF or adoption, I can't wait to see. Not mine but yours....


Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Don't be Jealous....

So this is the most amazing, loving, supportive, encouraging, incredible man in my life. (My dad is also just as amazing). I know that many of you are probably weak in the knees checking out this stud of a man, I apologize if it may cause you to stumble....we have had a crazy week with our friends from Atlanta, work, shots, and other odds and ends around the Stout house and I am looking forward to a cozy night in tonight. Well after we meet my team teacher and her hubs at school to put our new easel together and catch a bite to eat. There is nothing like getting in your pj's, washing your face, and snuggling up on the couch....especially if it is raining :)
Shots are progressing nicely and I am pretty much a professional "shotter" now. If you ever need assistance with shots feel free to call me, although I don't think I could administor them in anyone else Colin says I go too slow. Oh! By the way my prayer has been answered!!! Thanks for praying for me friends. I love ya.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Pray what????

We are still enjoying our friends from Atlanta and right now I am babysitting my new friend Addisyn. She is such a good baby, and I have enjoyed the practice. Right now she is in her little seat that vibrates and can't figure out if she really likes it or not. I have been told that it is okay if she cries and that I don't need to immediatly rush over and cradle her....which is really hard.

As for our IVF adventure, I finished up birth control on Saturday and have been doing my injections each night. The injections are really not too bad. I have been doing them in my legs, which aren't bruising like my belly did. Here is the craziest prayer request......please pray that I start my period this week. (sorry to be so blunt). If I don't they will have to put me back on to regulate me and bump retrieval and implantation back a month. I know that everything is in God's timing, but I really want His timing to be this month! I have been praying for three years that I don't start my period so this has been an adjustment for me.

I also went into school today and started working on a couple bulletin boards. Mom went in with me and was a HUGE help, she is so good to me. Heading back tomorrow morning, trying to knock things out early so I can rest up with all these procedures hopefully coming up. We love ya.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Baby Buddies

This picture was taken at my friend Nakada's husbands birthday celebration a few weeks ago. I put it in my blog because my two baby buddies are in the picture. About a year ago the three of us connected knowing we were all walking through this fertility battle. We started meeting in public places and eventually moved to our homes so we could just be real with our feelings and emotions. It has been such a blessing for me to have two women who know exactly how I feel. We can have some good belly laughs and the next minute just let the tears fall. Stef (on the far left) and Nakada (top right), both have amazing stories and it is so cool to see how God is moving in each of our lives. He is so good, He is in control, and He is ultimately writing each story.
Girls, I love you and know that you are both going to be AMAZING mom's. I hope that one day our kids connect and understand how cool we are!

Friday, July 25, 2008


Last night we had a very relaxing night at the lake. It was so good to sit and talk with good friends. We watched chick flicks, ate chocolate covered strawberries and bananas, and stayed up late. I felt like Suzy Homemaker as I woke up around 8 to make muffins and coffee for the crew. I have had a really hard time sleeping the past few nights. I don't know if it is from the injections or the face that my mind is racing and I just can't seem to get into my rapid eye movement (REM, I learned that in high school biology and have no idea what it means). Please pray that I can adjust to these meds and sleep through the night, I miss sleep. It especially stinks because I am having random hot sorry to complain.

We did enjoy our time together and I am so thankful for Jess and Swill and who they are in my life. They always listen and know the right things to say. I also know that they are praying hard for us. Last night during my quiet time I read in Mark 5:24-34 about a woman who had been bleeding for years and in faith simply touched Jesus cloak to be healed. She had faith that Jesus was her ulitmate physician, the one who would bring her back to life and He did. He told her, "Daughter your faith has healed you, Go in peace and be freed from your suffering." I know that God is the creator of all life, and He is the one who will bless us with a child, and we are temporarily suffering and longing for this precious baby, but in faith know His plan is the best plan.

When we got home later this afternoon I cleaned the house because our good friends Jenny Ann, Jason, and their 7 week old baby girl Addisyn are here to visit. Jenny Ann's dad is at the VA ICU and having difficulty breathing. They are still stumped as to what is going on, so please pray for the Beaumont family as they go back and forth from here to the hospital. Right now, Colin and I are babysitting sweet little Addisyn while Jason is picking up Jenny Ann. I really think we could do this. She is in Colin's arms asleep on the couch watching Old School (ear muffs). I love seeing him snuggle with this precious little life.

One more thing.....Mac (my brother) got a pretty sweet tatoo tonight. It is a the McGarvey crest on his upper right shoulder. He sat for three hours as they needle pointed this incredible piece of art on him. I think it looks really cool. Please be careful with him over the next few days, he is a wee bit tender.

We love you guys....I am off to bed and hope to sleep tonight.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Shaken or Swirled

Well last night was my first shot and I decided that I could do it on my own. I knew that I had to learn because today I am heading to the lake with two of my dearest friends (Jess and Swill) and they don't feel comfortable shooting up their friend. My friend Kristin, who is the nurse, isn't willing to drive 45 minutes to the lake just to inject me (I guess because of gas prices...hahahaha!). So, I took my meds over to Kris and Matt's house, I was very gently with the medicine because the directions specifically state (DO NOT SHAKE, only swirl). I freaked out when it slipped off my lap and onto the floor board at one point, then remembered it was shipped via Fed-X and just might have already endured a few "shakes." When we got to their house I knew what I was about to do, face one of my biggest fears (needles), and officially start the whole process. I tried to play it cool for a minute by loading up the meds in the needle myself and alcohol swabbing my belly, but then I froze. Kristin was very encouraging I think she only screamed "do it!" 5-7 times before I SLOWLY place the needle in my belly, injected and then pulled out only to bleed. Now one of my other fears is blood....God has a sense of humor. Matt, who is a fireman recommended that next time I pinch some skin up on my belly (shouldn't be a problem) and then quickly place the needle in. Oh gosh......I just realized I have to do this again tonight.
I have a little bruise on my belly, so I will probably be black and blue over the next few weeks from all my injections. I also didn't sleep well, I think that my mind was just racing over the next few weeks. Colin was so good to me and even treated me to an amazing meal at one of my favorite restuarants.

I am so thankful for family and friends that are behind us and encouraging us along the way to "do it!"

We love ya. I am off to the lake for a relaxing night with the girls.....I will post pics tomorrow of our awesome adventure. I still have to take that shot tonight....yikes!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Fire Hydrants

Holy Cow! What a butt-load of information we went through today. Colin compared it to drinking out of a fire hydrant. I think that I took good notes and feel much more confident in doing some of the shots independently. This is definately something we can handle (it is true, God doesn't give your more than you can take).

Our class had six other couples and we were the first to arrive today. After they collected our fees (I won't even beging to tell you the amount of "fees" we paid today......), we sat down and waited for the other folks to arrive. The first couple that came in paid their fees and sat down next to us. First we started talking about motorcycles, trips to Hawaii, and other lavish things we could invest in, but how we were all here to start families.

The class was very informative and helpful. I got really excited when the nurse talked about the day of implantation when they bring us pictures of the embryos they are going to place inside. She said these could be your first baby pictures. I asked Colin if he teared up during that point, and if you know my hubs you know the answer to that one. I have some specific prayer requests if you don't mind in regards to our class today.

1. Peace and patience in God's plan and timing not matter what the outcome.

2. That my body react exactly as it needs to for each step of the IVF procedure. (there are so many things that could cause the process to stop and have to wait another month).

3. No more than three viable (text book) embryos (we don't want to have too many, and we really don't want to have to freeze any.....this is very specific and I don't want to limit God's hand in this process)

4. For happy, healthy baby or babies Stout

My brain is about to explode from all this information, but I am so thankful for the class and that I have an amazing hubs that is going to walk through this with me. He said he just might even give me one of the shots!!

We love you guys.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Tomorrow Colin and I are going to our first education class for IVF. We have been praying for this process over the last few months and are anxiously awaiting to start. I have the HUGE box of meds/injections and a peace that God is ultimately the one that is going to bless us with a child. The journey so far has been like a roller coaster ride. We have had many ups and downs with previous procedures and meds (Chlomid is from the devil), all unsuccessful. I think that it is normal to have some reservations about IVF, but we really feel like God is leading us down this road.
We are hoping that there is another couple in our class that we can walk through this with. We have been incredibly fortunate to have many friends and our families to walk with us, but it is going to be really cool to hopefully connect with another couple who is going through the exact same thing.
I will keep you posted......The link to our Dr.'s website is below. He is a wonderful man, and came highly recommended from my OB/GYN who is a strong man of faith. (God is so good!)

Please continue to pray for us as we walk through this process.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Denver....better late than never

We had the opportunity to go out and visit some of the greatest people ever. Scott and Ali just moved to Colorado and they showed us ALL the great places. Shopping, restaurants, skiing....we did it all!
Me and the hubs.
The girls had a photo op after having a delicious mexican feast!

Colin and Scott got to go skiing in Breckenridge. We didn't run into Jesse, DeAnna's new fiance.

This is Colin and his new best friend Eli. I am sure that are watching Ratatouille.

It's been a while.......

This is my little friend Will. I absolutely adore him and love him as if he were my own. One of my dearest childhood friends is his mom so I live vicariously through her until we are blessed with a baby. Speaking of babies. Colin and I are excited about the next few weeks. We have been trying on our own for three years, and with assitance the last year to have a baby. We have not had any success so we are going through with IVF. I am very nervous about the amount of drugs I have to take and inject into my body, but I do trust that God is in control. We have prayed about this decision as well as talked to many friends and family. We will keep you posted, if you have a minute please pray for baby or babies Stout (if that is God's plan for us).