Saturday, May 29, 2010


Helping Grandaddy drive the boat
Loving on Uncle Mac
He LOVED his first boat ride. Thanks Will for letting us borrow the life jacket

My sweet the hat

We had such a great day at the lake today. We missed our friends the Kempers and the Howards, but had some quality family time. Laying out, boat ride, and a delicious dinner made of for the lack of naps from our little man. He was just too excited about everything happening around him.


Friends, I feel so loved. Thanks for the calls, emails, and posts. I am fine...promise, just anxious. My appointment is this Thursday. At first I was disappointed because I really wanted to go this past week, but then my friend Katie told me that was incredibly fast to get in with a specialist. My friend Leann told me she knows of the Dr and that she is really good. So many of you are praying for me, and understand my complete issue with anxiety. Thank you. I love ya. Looking forward to a fun Memorial Day weekend with my family. Have a safe weekend yourself!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

More then Conquerers

So this morning, I turned on my music and sat down in my cozy chair with my coffee and grabbed my Dobson book....only to feel the spirit telling me to put that down and get my bible. I got up and opened my bible to Romans, and I feel He led me to Romans 8. What a breath of fresh air for me. I have had a weird couple of days health wise. I haven't felt terrible, just really shaky (sp). I hold a glass and shake, I type and am I anxious or is this something real. To rule out the "realness" I went to the Dr. yesterday and told her my symptoms. She ran a quick EKG and it came back abnormal....seriously? After she told me my EKG was abnormal she said "now let's listen to your heart..." I told her it was about to pop out of my chest. I left the office yesterday with fear....I am waiting to hear when I have an appt with a cardiologist. My Dr said that it may be the machine, but for peace of mind she wants me to follow up. Thank goodness, I am thankful for her thoroughness, but now my head is spinning. So, this is why God led me to Romans, and why as I sat down to type this Christy Nockels "healing is in your hands" came on. Isn't our God good?

Today I am resting in Him, covered by His love....high, wide and no matter where I am. He is there. I am thankful that NOTHING can keep me from God, and that He has walked before me, He will never leave me, and loves me so much. With Him we are more then conquerors.

Romans 8:29-30 (The Message)
29-30God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.

I went through and made the you version of this scripture....(Romans 8:29-30 personalized)

God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the life of you along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in line for you, he restored you. We see the original and intended shape of your life in him. After God made that decision of what you should be like, he followed it up by calling you by name. After he called you by name, he set you on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting you established, he stayed with you to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.

Monday, May 24, 2010


Maybe Sampson would need a new house too...
For some reason I feel like God is really tugging at my heart these days. I am trying to be aware of His promptings and to act accordingly. Honestly, some of the tugging He does is uncomfortable. Some of the tugging I try to justify is me, and not Him and ignore it....but then I realize it was Him. One I am trying to discern is our home. Colin and I are so fortunate. We live in a beautiful house and great neighborhood. Great schools, neighbors, and family minutes away. Over the last six months we have been out and about looking for new houses and we don't know why. It is fun to look...right? I like to imagine our family in a new home, how would we decorate, would it be good for hosting parties, how about the yard....shady,1 acre or 5 acres? can we put in a pool? I try to picture down the road when Camden is in school....will he like having his friends over? I don't know, the biggest thing I look for when walking in a home is will it fit a HUGE table for our family that crazy? I need a room that will hold 20+ family and friends once a year. That is a deal breaker for me (and I would like the laundry room on the same floor with the bedrooms). I guess I enjoy being a hostess, I want to make sure I can entertain my guests and that everyone has a place to sit and chat. I need a good place for food to be served, and a spot where I can put my ipod to play some of my favorite tunes. All this to I want to move or is God calling us to move? I don't know, I am willing....

Thursday, May 20, 2010


I love this book by James Dobson. I think that I am a wee bit traditional when it comes to family life. I do believe that Colin should be the head of our home and the main bread winner. That I am to clean, cook (I do my best), and care for Camden. I do love that I have the opportunity to work 8 hrs a week. I do believe that if my working outside the home (so few hours) began to take a toll on Camden, I would walk away. I believe my first priority is a mom. I believe that I have been entrusted with a very special gift. I am so thankful for this little guy. He is growing into this sweet little boy...I guess he is a toddler now, I can't accept that my baby is a toddler. He no longer takes any bottles, he eats three meals a day, two snacks, and is almost walking. He has a sweet demeanor and loves to dance. Right now it is a toe tap be bop, but I love it. All this said, he brings me joy. My ability to be a mom is more then I could ever ask for. I am a lucky girl and so thankful for my boy.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


I am such a heart girl. I wear it on my sleeve, I base all my decisions on it. I do this because I believe with all my heart that God lives there. I believe that the Holy Spirit directs me and guides me and knows what is best for me. Do you ever have an issue with what is your heart for your life and what is His heart for your life? I sure do.....I pray that I am better at listening to Him and that my desires begin to fall away so that I all can hear and feel is Him. Would you pray that too? Would you pray that I have no fear in following His plan?

Monday, May 17, 2010

Baby Dedication

Dr Butler happened to be at the Baby Dedication yesterday...we snagged him for a picture. Camden thinks he knows him, but just can't place it.

Big handsome man (spends most of his day standing, but not ready to walk yet)

Jen, Katelyn, Grandma Deb, and Chris came to celebrate with us

Grandma and Grandaddy

Uncle Mac and Aunt Whitney
A very, very proud Mom and Dad

I feel like we dedicated Camden years ago to God. Camden is and will always be His. We have been entrusted with this sweet little man, and we are forever thankful. He is so much fun. Enjoy the pictures from our big day.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Imitate your Dad

"If you are honest, trustworthy, caring, loving, self-disciplined, and God fearing, your boys will be influenced by those traits as they age. If you are deeply committed to Jesus Christ and live by biblical principles, your children will probably follow in your footsteps. So much depends on what they observe in you, for better or worse."


"Children may not remember what you say, but they are usually impacted for life by what you do."


This last chapter was about Fathers and Sons. (no worries the next chapter is for me). Dobson addressed the fathers that our kids see on TV and how there is no real Godly example of how a father should be. He mentioned the Cosby show....that was a long time ago. I think of the many shows that are on right now and how they don't have the father serve as the family provider, serve as the leader of the clan, serve as the protector, or provide spiritual direction in the home. Dobson says as a result of this skewed vision on fathers...many boys have a poor concept of what they are supposed to do or how to get it done. Not only do you see this poor display of dads on TV, but sadly it is everywhere. It is heart breaking.

Please know we are not perfect and we never will be. My prayer is that God give us wisdom in raising Camden to be a Godly man, to be God-fearing, and a leader. Our prayer is that He follow God's plan for his life. I have even prayed for his wife (if he were to marry). As I read I become more and more overwhelmed with this responsibility of being a mom....but am constantly reminded that I am not alone. I have an amazing husband, my dad, and God to walk through this with me. I don't know what it is like to be a boy....but Colin and dad do. They have already made an impact on our sweet boys life. Da Da and DD you are the best.

Love ya.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Raising Boys

I bought the book Raising Boys by James Dobson months ago. I had been reading it right before bed and for some reason I just stoppped...maybe Amazing Race, DWTS, 24, LOST, Flashforward had something to do with that. (I may have too many shows....DVR). I also got into a few other books along the way, so I tried to have an upstiars book and a downstairs luck. Now that I have finished Donald Miller, I am moving back in to James Dobson. I have read a few chapters so far and it is very enlightening...mainly because I am not a boy. Surprise! I am not usually a fan of statistics and facts, but since this directly relates to me I am very interested. Growing up I always wanted boys because I knew how dramatic and crazy girls were...because I was that girl. Surprise! Now that I am reading this book, I am seeing a picture of how boys are wired. Boys need love and security. Boys need their dads. Boys are going to rough house. Boys are going to push the limits. Boys are messy. (I added that one). I am learning to embrace the sweet boy I have. I am giving him lots of love and I am giving him boundaries and letting him explore. MOST importantly this boy LOVES his daddy. He lights up when Colin comes in. He wants to get on his shoulders and rub his buzzed head. He wants to wrestle on the floor. He gives Colin hugs (Camden does the lean in when he wants to show you love). Colin is a very involved and loving father. I love to watch the two of them interact because they both light up. They need each other. I am so thankful for my husband and the roll he has embraced as dad. I have fallen in love with him all over again through the last year. I am so proud of my boys.

Monday, May 10, 2010


(we may need to get a more recent picture mom!)

Thank you so much for all the book suggestions, especially the one in Japanese, I am gonna run out and get that one right away. (what is that anyway?) I was reminded I have a great book on my nightstand right now...Raising Boys. I am going to finish that one and then move onto Jen and Kendra's suggestions....thank you so much friends.

This weekend we celebrated Mother's Day. I am a lucky girl because I have been blessed with an amazing mother. She has been my biggest fan (most of the time, I did give her a few reasons not to cheer throughout the years). She is one of the first people I call in any circumstance and on any given day. She laughs with me, and has cried with me a few times (she is s a tough cookie). Now being a mom myself, I don't know how she did it with such grace and confidence. I never once questioned my mom's authority, what mom said went. I believed (and maybe still believe) so many things she told me. Some true, some not so much.

1. The pink panther isulation when touched will make you itch for the rest of your life.

2. Big wheels are not supposed to have loud clickie things on the wheels

3. She was in the group the Lovin' Spoonfuls (sp)

4. I can cook...ha, sorry mom I didn't get that gene.

5. If you ask if someone can spend the night in front of that person it is an automatic NO!

I hope to add a few more throughout the weeks...she was good.

My mom always led aerobics in our living room, blew bubbles with us on the front porch, and let us crawl up in her lap. She knew that a cookie and Sprite would heal anything, she laid in bed with me for an entire day while I cried over my first breakup, and she prayed with me during our battle with infertility. My mom is the best. I am so thankful God gave me Trish Baxter. I love you mom!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

What are you reading?

My family can't believe I am reading!

I am looking for my next book.....what do you rec? I like an easy read (sorry no John Piper, no offense Head family). I like a book that challenges me, I love Francis Chan, Donald Miller, John Ortberg,....let me know.


Wednesday, May 5, 2010


"write a good story, take somebody with you, and let me help."
I just finished my book by Donald Miller. It was a great read. I enjoyed his ability to tell his story and weave other people through each page. It was interesting to see him literally get off the couch and make a better story for himself. I wonder what God is asking me to do? I wonder what I miss out on each day because I am trying to write my own story. I wonder what fears hold me back from taking a step towards God's story. I wonder if today I am in the place God wants me to be in my story.
I don't want to get to Heaven and start telling God my stories...I want us to sit together and tell our stories. Stories that I could only live through Him. Stories that could only be written by God, stories with no fear, worries, and much growth.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I am that loser mom....(just hear me out)

I was watching Wheel of Fortune the other night (superfan, I have a wheel ID and everything). Supercool and no that is not the reason I am a loser mom. Colin and I always have a competition to see who can solve the puzzle first, it doesn't count if you just get a few words you have to get the whole puzzle. There are some tricks to can't solve the puzzle aloud or the competitor will steal all your hard work and win that round. Very tough for I am competitive and I get really nervous that Colin will solve the puzzle before me and that makes my heart beat really fast messing with my thinking. (then we get into the whole anxiety thing...nobody wants that). ....and no that isn't the reason I am loser mom, although you may think so by now. I also like to predict where the really good prizes are on the final wheel spinner thing....I think it's all in the stars....big money and cars, oh and no wammies....wait wrong game.

So back to my thought and title of the blog. The contestant who won was introducing his precious family and friends whom he brought with him for his Wheel debut. It was his mom and his cute girlfriend. I was torn...who did I relate to now, the cute girlfriend or the mom. I continued to watch and celebrated as this young man took home over $60000 home. I told Colin he better be buying her a ring...and then it happened. He didn't know who to hug first mom or the girlfriend. Well hello....I would have always been all about the girlfriend, but now I have a son and I am that mom. He went back and forth hugging his mom and kissing his girlfriend.

Colin looked at me and said...what are you going to do when Camden brings home his first girlfriend.....I sat puzzled because I wasn't the only one who noticed the awekwardness (word?). I told Colin I would be nice to her.......I guess, I don't want to think about that. I am still getting past the point that I am no longer the girlfriend....I am the mom. I get to be a mom, and am thrilled to be a mom.
PS I don't think I am a loser or that the "mom" on Wheel is a loser....I just had to accept the new role I am playing in life...

Double Yuk!

Now my poor parents and sister in law have the bug. I am so sad for them because it just plum stinks. Mac just got over it and I am still praying it stays away from Colin and Camden. I have had to find alternate childcare for my sweet boy while I work and sub this week. I will not ever take my parents for granted. They are so is killing them to say no to watching Camden for me. I just want them to have adequate time to rest and get well. I love them so much. Please pray that this bug go away and that my family can get and stay healthy. In the back of my head I feel like it is my fault because they cared for Camden while I was so sick. I love you guys...get well soon.

Monday, May 3, 2010


Oh my, what a weekend. It started off great. No plans and laying low with the family. After taking a recent personality test, I realized that my sweet husband likes to take it easy and go with the opposite of me. It was hard not to pencil in plans on my calender, but I really wanted to do this for my hubs. We woke up Saturday and had a big breakfast and I got my haircut (I didn't plan it, I called at 10:45 and they got me in at 11:15, I am living on the edge). We had an awesome day of no plans and just enjoyed some family time. Saturday night after Camden went to bed, Colin and I watched It's Complicated (very cute).

Sunday morning Colin woke up early to play at church. As he left I knew I didn't feel great, but I thought a Tums would help. No dice my was bad, rough, awful. I am so lucky to have parents who live less then a mile away and they came to my rescue. My dad came over and hung out with Camden until Colin came home. As for the rest of the weekend it is a blur. Some was spent sleeping, some on the bathroom floor, and some in bed. I had a good friend who had some phinigrin and that helped with the sleep. I am on the mend today, but pray nobody has to go through that.....YUK!