Let Go and Lexapro

I haven't written much about FET (frozen embryo transplant) the last few days. Colin and I talked about our plan over our quick trip to Louisville for New Years. I also acknowledge that our plan will most likely be different from God's and we are open to Him. I also get nervous for even admitting we have a plan, because to live by faith is to surrender all plans of our own.
So s simple disclaimer would be, "God you have the freedom to move as you see fit for our family, and permission to laugh at the following."

First off it was so nice to getaway with my sweet hubs. To get away from work, home, and to focus on us. We got to have some good belly laughs and conversation. We decided that we were so very blessed to have our sweet baby boy. We also realize what a miracle he really is. We have set an appointment with Dr. Akin for next week just to hear his thoughts on our failed pregnancy. My thoughts are that he will advise us to do IVF again. We have been told by to fertility specialists that the only way for us to get pregnant is through ivf. Colin and I know that we do not want to walk through in vitro again. I don't think we can financially or emotionally. We are interested to hear Dr Akin out, but assume to know what he will say.

After our appointment with Akin, I am going to go see Dr Butler. He is a wonderful Dr, he delivered Camden and is also a strong Christian. We value his opinion and counsel. Our plan for now is to get back on birth control, and be a family of three. I don't want to closer the door of future pregnancies, but believe this is what is best for our family.

When I talked to my friend last week about possibly getting back into fulltime work in a few years, he told me "you need to let go and lexapro.". I do know I need to let go of control and live by faith. The anxiety meds do help, and I sm learning more and more each day about my control issues. As for now, this has helped me. Again, I know that God sees the whole picture and is getting a good laugh out of this post.
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