HaPpY hAlLoWeEn!

Happy Halloween friends! I was thinking that this time next year, I will have my own little friend in a costume to show off. I can't wait! This has been such a great day already. I woke up and wrote three narratives for our first term assessments, had a good breakfast, and a long, hot shower. My dad called around 11:00 and said that my Nana's headstone had been delivered to the cemetary and wanted to know if I wanted to take a field trip out to see it. I couldn't wait to see what my dad had picked out to honor my Nana's life, and it was perfect. It was bench made of black granite with her named etched in the side. We are going to plant rose bushes around it in the spring. It will be a place that all of us can go (if I can find it again) to sit and reflect on all our memories of Nana (fiesty Nana).
The biggest surprise is that my mom let me go visit my kids at school today. I have been missing them like crazy and itching to go and see them for the last few weeks. I was waiting for them in the teacher chair when they got back from lunch. I don't know who was more excited to see who....I had to hold the tears back, I don't think they would understand why I was so emotional!?! I got 22 hugs, heard about all of their costumes and Halloween plans, we talked about their favorite candy and then they begged to see my most recent picture of the baby. I adore these kids and really miss each of their smiling faces. It was such a gift to SIT and visit with them today (I promise Jennafer).
I hope everyone enjoys their evening tonight. Colin and I are having my brother and his girlfriend over for dinner and to pass out candy. After the Trick-or-Treaters pass through some of Colin's buddies are coming over to play Rock Band. It should be a fun night.
Em

Tears

I feel like everyday I keep getting hit with some sort of bad news, hurting friends, broken hearts, sickness, etc. I know that God is bigger than every situation, and that when we go through these hard times He is there beside us, sometimes carrying us through the storm. I just wish I knew what to say or do to make the situations/people feel better. I wish I knew how to take away the pain. My friend Jess told me today that maybe I was on bed-rest so I could pray for my friends. I have had many conversations with God over the past three weeks, and believe that He is listening....I just wish He would protect us from hurt/pain. I do know that the one thing He did promise is that this life would not be easy and pain free. My prayer is that my friends feel the presence of God like they never have before. That the know they are loved and accepted. I pray that they know each tear that falls from their eyes is being kept in a safe place and God knows what each tear stands for. I just know that this is part of life and instead of trying to fix the situations I need to LOVE the person during the time they are enduring the pain. I want to create a safe place where we can laugh, encourage, and love on these friends. I am praying for opportunities to love them.

If you have any prayer requests let me know. I would love to know how to pray for you.
Love ya.
Em

Fiesta

Today I have had pretty productive day. I finished our classroom budget for 2009-2010, I revised our January 2009 Newsletter, read, and finished three word searches. I am gearing up for a fiesta with our small group tonight. Vandee has promised to work his magic in the kitchen to create a mexican feast. I am excited for the company. We are also going to talk through the first chapter of "Love Languages."

My mom and dad came over and spent the afternoon with me. Jaci, dropped off some assessments for me to begin writing all 22 narratives for our first term report cards, and Stef brought me my new hoody and some pix from their trip from Marco Island. All and all, ,very good day full of friends, family, and fun.

God is teaching me to rely on Him, and to see/hear/trust Him during this down time. I am praying that by our next appointment (2 weeks from today) that the bloodclot will be GONE! Love you guys.
Em

Stir CrAzY

So.....I think I am on the verge of going what they call "stir crazy." I am trying to tell my mind that this is not that bad, but then I think about how long I have been sitting/laying and how much longer I have to go and I go ......Crazy! I did leave the house last night and go to my parents for dinner. I did keep my feet up, and actually did enjoy the change in venue. Please pray that I don't lose it....that I can appreciate the time I have been given to rest. I know that anyone would love to be told to rest, so I shouldn't complain. However, this is out of control. Couch, bed, chair, swing, couch, bed, etc....it gets a wee bit like Groundhog's Day. Sorry to complain.......

Mom is coming over today and we are going to start making some Christmas candy. Today we are tackling peanut butter rolls and soon bourbon balls. I would also like to make a batch of pumpkin chip bread for the girls at work. I am so glad that my momma is coming over.....Well I am out and apologize for my venting session. Love you guys.
Em

Did I mention.....

That we are supposed to be in Florida right now? Colin and I had booked a trip with two other couples, the Head's and the Ranson's , to Marco Island, Florida months ago, pre-pregnancy. We knew we were going through with IVF, but calculated that I would be way early in the pregnancy, able to fly, and hopefully over the morning sickness. When we planned the trip we didn't realize that God had other plans. We have caught up with the crew a few times this weekend and it sounds like they are having an amazing time, little overcast, but they are still thrilled to be on vacation. (By the way Judge Judy, fun fact from Tom, lives just down the water from them, be good friends). I am so happy because they are buying me a new hoody from Marco. If you know me, you know my absolute obsession with hooded sweatshirts (I have one on right now as I type). They are so snuggly and wonderful and warm and ....sorry.

What is ironic about cancelling this trip is that it is the second time this year we have had to cancel a trip to Florida. My whole family was heading down to Naples in June and my Nana passed away. Now I know that I was where I needed to be this summer, and I know that I am where I need to be right now.....but man how I wish for that Florida sun!

Colin and I have two plane tickets that we want to use to take a trip in December. We are going to head up to Chicago (as long as I am not on bedrest) to visit my cousin, his girlfriend, and meet up with my Aunt and Uncle. I am in hopes that this works out because I love Chicago, and I love spending time with my family. Maybe Colin and I could fork out a few extra bucks to stay at a nice hotel and have a few nice dinners....no sense in shopping, but maybe some new shoes or a HOODY??

My sweet husband just walked in the door with a Starbuck's vanilla steamer, bagel, and a smile. He is the greatest! We are going to sit by the fire, read, eat, watch TV, all those good things made better with him.

Love ya.
Em

Relationships

(isn't this the cutest? It's cookies)

It's hard to believe but I have had an action packed day. My mom and dad came over this morning and spent the day with me (God gave me the best parents in the world). We enjoyed lunch, Price is Right, reading (most of the day), surfing the Internet, and Judge Judy. Dad and Taylor took a brief field trip mid-day to spend time with Charlie. Tonight my sweet husband surprised me with a beautiful vase full of pink roses, and lilies along with a picnic from Malones. After our dinner we decided to go on a ride in the car (it really is a big deal folks, I left the house). We took Taylor with us and picked up mom and dad to buy them a sweet treat from Sonic (a VERY small token of appreciation for putting up with me the last three weeks). It was fun to simply get in the car and see the neighborhood, roll the windows down (only for a minute, it was chilly and wet), and get some much needed fresh air. When we got home our friends the Johnson's stopped by and dropped off the cutes basket of fresh cookies from a place called Cookies by Design.
(www.cookiesbydesign.com) Check out the website. Now my husband is blowing up our air mattress because we are camping out downstairs by the fire tonight. I am so blessed. In The Shack, one of the main themes winding through was the importance of true relationships. This time of rest has really opened my eyes to the relationships God has given us, and shows us a glimpse of what is in store when we get to Heaven. Well, I need to stoke the fire, and calm Taylor down...she didn't like the air compressor at all. (By the way, she is doing well...still eating and pooping :) Love ya.
Em

The Shack

So I am all set up....our friend Aaron came over last night and helped us set up our wireless so I could work from my mom's laptop downstairs. I have been able to work on a few things for school, and now I am updating my blog. I just finished The Shack and my mind is processing the story and what the main character Mack endured. it is a wonderful story full of hope and love. I found myself smiling when Mack would talk to the main characters (Jesus, Holy Spirit, and God), and their response to Him. They encouraged him to leave a life of independence and live fully in a relationship with them. It was so promising.....so encouraging and I highly recommend it. It made me re-evaluate how I live independently, how I deal with not so great situations, and how I judge others.
Right now I am living with a little discouragement due to the circumstances I am....really confined to my home and more specifically my bed or couch. I am looking for Joy in each day and ways to grow closer and more dependent on God.

3 more weeks!!!!

(ultrasound of our sweet baby 11 weeks and 5 days)
(this shot took our breath away, look at our babies sweet little hands up by their chin)

Our appointment this afternoon went really well. The baby looks great, happy, and healthy. We not only saw our babies precious little face, but we heard their heartbeat. It was the most beautiful sound ever....I believe that is the sound of our baby already worshipping God. (I have been reading The Shack and rethinking so many things). The stinky news is that I do still have a clot and Dr. Butler is not messing around. He was firm in his decision of three more weeks of bedrest. To say I wasn't disappointed would be a lie....I was really looking forward to going back to school and seeing my team and kids again. I was looking forward to going to the mall, out to dinner, and on a walk. However, God has this plan for me right now, and I know that one day (probably around May), I will wish I could go back to this peaceful time of rest. Thanks for the prayers....love ya.

Em

Day 13 (D day....Dr. Day)

Oh my goodness, I can't believe it has almost been two full weeks! Today is the day that I go back to see Doctor Butler, Jennafer, and Joan and hope for some good news. Day four of no bleeding, so I have high hopes. I will definately post later this afternoon to let you know what the Dr. prescribes! Thanks for praying.
Ultrasound is at 12:30
Dr B is at 1:30

Em

Day 11 and 12 (oops)

(photograper we are using in January, her link is at the bottom of my blog)
Where did the weekend go? I spent most of it with the best husband ever! He was so sweet to me. Breakfast in bed Saturday, Panera and Starbucks on Sunday, and he even snuggled to watch Iron Man together (he is not a fan of laying around...all about go! go! go!) I told him if he keeps feeding me like this my belly is not going to be the only thing that expands! It was a wonderful, relaxing weekend. I am so thankful for all of our friends that came over, cooked, or took a nap (Jess) with me. God is so good. Twelve days ago I prayed that I would find joy throughout these two weeks and God has delivered Joy in abundance to me. He is so good. I also learned this weekend at church in regards to our plans/future that we truly need to trust in God at all times (good and bad).....after all He has a much better view. He sees the WHOLE picture and each day is a work of art in His grand masterpiece of our lives.



Taylor had a rough morning, but seems to have turned around this afternoon. It is so hard to know when a pet is suffering and when to make that dreaded trip to the vet. My heart breaks as I look in her little eyes....I just wish she could speak and tell me she was ready....I believe that God will lead us.



I also got in touch with an amazing photographer from here in Lexington. I have admired her work via her website and blog for a few years. Her name is Melanie Mauer and we finally connected today and she was wonderful. If you know Michelle Frank she was her kindred spirit....joyful. We are going to set up a session in either January or February downtown to capture this special time of pregnancy in our lives. Melanie mentioned some other crucial times to capture pictures of our sweet baby (1-2 weeks after birth, six months, and one year). I totally trust her judgement and would LOVE to have her involved in each photoshoot. Please check out her website and blog.....Love you guys.

http://www.melaniemauer.com/

Em

Day 10

I have finally taken a picture of what I actually look like right now. It is from my camera phone, so it is not the most crisp, flattering shot, but it gives you an idea of the little bump I am sporting. (no worries we have asked for a digital camera for Christmas, I am thinking that we may be in need of one). Last night we had such a great night with our Free Eats Friday crew, the chili was delicious and the company was even better. I tried to remain on the couch or in one of my barstools with my feet up for the duration of the night. I am excited to report I have had minimal, I mean very minimal spotting over the last three days. I am in hopes that my two weeks can start from last Thursday. We will see on Tuesday when Dr. Butler checks on the clot and sweet baby Stout. I am really excited to see what our little one looks like now. We haven't had an ultrasound for two weeks so I am sure he/she has grown quite a bit. I did get my prenancy update this morning and it states that the baby is about two inches long!!

This morning, my baby buddy Nakada came over (looking absolutely perfect sporting a bump for two). She brought be some hot chocolate and we caught up over the past few weeks. Have a mentioned how fortunate I am to have such amazing friends?

Colin and I are going to settle in today and watch a movie and tonight I have a big night out. I get to go to church, my one outing for this past week. I have not left the house since last Saturday...so I can't wait to just go on a ride in the car!! After church we are having our friends Shane, Monica, and Aaron over for dinner (I will remain seated on the couch).

Taylor is hanging in there. She is still eating and the meds seem to be helping. Please keep praying for her and the tough decision that is in front of us. The last few nights Colin and I have had some really good cries, conversations, and loved on our beloved pet. Love you guys.

Em

Day 9 (It's Friday!!!)

I think that the mother instincts are starting to kick in. Everytime I hear Taylor move at night I shoot out of bed to check on her. Half the time I think she is stretching, but I am overly worried about her right now and can't seem to find a good nights sleep these days. She was a little down last night, but seems to have perked right up this morning. Especially when Swilly showed up with chicken-minis and then my dad came to pick her up for a ride in the car and time with Grandma and Grandaddy. I am really learning it's okay to cry, and talk through these emotions with Colin. You may think that sounds crazy, but my sweet hubs is so sensitive (I love that about him) and I normally try to keep it together so he doesn't get upset. Last night we just held each other and cried for our sweet puppy. (again those without a love for animals think we might be crazy, but you haven't be our dog :) We are well aware of God's timing, His love, and the fact that He planned this out perfectly. I am getting to spend sooooo much more time with her being on bedrest. Thank you.

My mom just got here. She is making chili for our Free Friday Eats crew. (this tradition started when I was a little girl on Nakomi Dr and has continued for the Baxter's, Howard's, Kemper's and Stout's). Tonight mom is cooking for all of us at my house so I can stay on the couch. Did I mention how lucky I am? I should probably wrap this up so I can spend time with her and "help" her with the cooking.

Jess and Swilly, if you are reading this, this morning meant so much to me. It is so safe to meet at someones house to open up, pray, share and be vulnerable. Thank you so much for being so dear to me and loving me for the crazy, spastic, bed-ridden friend I am. I love you both.

By the way....I believe I am beginning to sport a little baby bump. I wore my first maternity shirt the other day and Colin touched my belly and ask me what that was.....I wanted to reply it is our investment honey...don't you remember what we went through. But he was so excited to finally see some proof that we are actually expecting (besides the ultrasounds). His expression was priceless. I need to post a picture of my bump. I love you guys.

Em

Day 8 (11 weeks pregnant!)

I am waking up every morning at 3 AM....what in the world. It is almost comical when I wake up and look at the clock I know what time it is going to be. Colin and I had a great night last night. My mom came over for a little bit and we caught up with her (poor thing has been here more then at her own house the last week, so thankful). We watched Knight Rider, and then after Colin fell asleep (8:45), I watched the season finale of project runway. This morning I have been hanging upstairs with Taylor. She is snug as a bug on our couch behind me right now, I have all the blankets and pillows out for her. My mom and jan are coming over this afternoon for laundry day (they really like our new washer and dryer) and lunch. I also think Jess is going to swing by...yippee.

I do know that this afternoon the Kindergarten girls are coming over to spend some time with me. We are going to do a few "work" things and then just spend time together. I am looking forward to seeing their faces, it has been toooooo long. My sister-in-law Jen thankfully has the second and third book in the Twilight series and is bringing them by today, and to top off such a wonderful, rainy day Jill and Rob Neuzal are bringing us dinner......what more could you ask for? Friends, family, and food!?!?!? Love it....thank you Lord.

Day 7

It's hard to believe last week at this exact time I was calling my boss telling her that the Dr. had put me on bedrest. One full week of laying on the couch, outside, and in bed. I have kept busy reading (just finished Twilight, and getting ready to start The Shack), watching TV, and spending time with family and friends. Yesterday was not all bad, I had so many friends come by to see me. Will and Kristin were my first visitors only to make me realize how much my house is NOT baby proofed. Will is the cutest little man ever, and Auntie Em just didn't have very much to play with, but some good stuff to eat. After Kristin and Will left Stef and Nate came to have lunch with me. Nate claimed he hit the lunch jackpot because he was eating my mom's amazing roast, potatoes, carrots, and green beans. Around that same time some of my favorite kids ever stopped by Jackson, Mia, Eli and their momma Kelly. It was a busy morning and about the time I was ready to dive back into my book or take a quick cat nap is when mom and dad came with Taylor and all the bad news. It was kind of nice having my family around, colin came home early and my brother stopped by. It is crazy how many people fall in love with a four legged friend.....she is doing great today. We are allowing her to eat whatever she wants. Yesterday she had peanut butter and jelly, some pizza, and other items.

This afternoon my mom and all her beautiful sisters came over with lunch. It was so good to catch up with them and hear stories from when they were growing up. We had some really good homemade potato soup, Stanly J's chicken salad, and snacked on brownies. Once we finished lunch we sat outside and our friends Lauren and baby Jack came first and then Leann and her two kiddos, Anna and Charlie. It has been wonderful day, and I am so, so, so fortunate. God is so good at keeping my mind off things and carrying me through this bedrest and sad time.

Tonight Colin and I don't have anyone coming over, and I think that I will try and go to bed early. I am exhausted, but just can't seem to sleep. (My friend Stef's sister, Rachael said it was the progesterone I was on). I am still missing my job, kids, and team but looking forward to seeing the Kindergarten team tomorrow after school. Hope all is well with you.
Em

Day 6

Isn't it true that the Lord doesn't give you more than you can handle. Today I am honestly questioning if that statement is true. Taylor, our ten year old boxer/pit has been sick over the past month about once a week. Yesterday she was over at Grandma and Grandaddy's (yes, they run a doggie daycare for my brothers dog Charlie and our sweet pup, Taylor), and she started feeling sick again. This led my dad to the vet late in the afternoon where they scheduled Taylor for an ultrasound at Rood and Riddle today (she is too big for our vet's ultrasound and had to go with all the horses). The news was not good, devestating, she has been eaten up by cancer. She has it in all her major organs and lymph nodes. The vet has given her some meds to keep her comfortable, but for now all we do is wait and love on this dear friend, and "child" we have had for the last ten years. I don't know how to do it, she has been such a gift, and Lord knows the many secrets I have confided in her. If you are not an animal person you probably think I am crazy.....but I LOVE this dog. As for now, we are giving her anything and everything she wants. Today she had her favorite Frosty Paws ice cream, a half of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, some summer sausage, and lots and lots of water.

As for me, Colin, and sweet baby Stout there have been many tears shed, and I am sure many more. My poor dad had to walk through today by himself as I was bed resting and Colin was working. Please say a prayer for us as we spend our last few days/weeks with Taylor.

Love you guys.

Em

Day 5

(10 weeks)

Phillipians 4:19

"And my God will meet ALL your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

I read through this scripture this morning and coupled it with the sermon Jon preached this weekend. Jon prayed that God is the best listener, He is always there, He knows every hair on each of our heads, He catches EVERY tear that falls from our eyes. I am so thankful that I have Jesus during this time, and that He does understand my emotional roller coaster of a day. He loves this sweet child as much as I love them (even more). I do believe that He is in control each minute, hour, and day as they pass by. Sometimes I just wish Jesus would ring my doorbell and come in for cookies and chat...or send me a text "all is well, looking out for you." Wouldn't you love a phone call?

Today I don't have much planned. I didn't sleep well last night, I see why Doctor Butler mentioned sleep aids after week 12, my mind just doesn't stop. Plus our dog, Taylor woke us up around 2 AM barking and running around downstairs. We still don't know what ruffled her feathers, but I was sure WIDE awake after that. My mom is coming over around noon to fix lunch and hang out. Stef is preparing for a much needed trip home to visit family and finishing some things up around her house. I get to see her tomorrow. God is working out each day for me and I am so thankful for family and friends who want to help out.

I am praying for my friend Sara, she is going in at 10:45 this morning for her first ultrasound after a successful bloodtest two weeks ago. She was in our IVF informational class, and we share some of the same friends. If you have a minute say a little prayer for that sweet little bun.

Love you guys,

Em

Day 4

What a wonderful day!! Colin woke me up this morning with fresh fruit and a bowl of cheerios. (he joked that he had bought a hole watermelon and carved a basket and roses out of the shell of the large fruit...so funny). We had a blast last night at church and had a nice dinner in with friends. I do think that I went up and down the steps a few too many times as my bleeding was a little too heavy last night (sorry for the details), so it was my mission to lay in bed/couch most of the day and not go up and down the steps more that three times. I did it, and I have not bled or cramped much today, praise God. Thank you for praying too.

We had our friends D and Lauren over for dinner (we missed you Vandee and Leann). D and Lauren picked up some really good pizza and we really enjoyed catching up with them. I think that we are going to propose to Vandee and Leann that we read the Five Love Languages as a group over the next few months (or more). We shall see, I know that I have time to read!!

Lauren bought me the first book in the Twilight series and I read the first 50 pages in thirty minutes. That is a good sign that I will continue to read and most likely finish the book. I am also hoping to get my hands on The Shack.

My friend Stef is on fall break this week and planning on coming over to read outside tomorrow. I just love the thought of having someone here to talk or simply just hang out and co-exist. My sweet mom has planned a big get together on Wednesday. My Aunts and mom are making food and bringing it over for lunch. I can't wait to spend time with her sisters....I always enjoy the conversation and laughter they bring. So far no big trips out of the house planned. I feel like the bed-rest really does pay off.

Love you guys,
Em

Day 3

Today started out a little rough. I woke up happy that it was Saturday, but sad that my hubs decided to spend the morning hunting. Don't get me wrong, I know that he needs stress relief from work, baby, bedrest, and me....but hunting where there is no cell phone coverage? We had a really good talk this morning about how I am feeling about this situation and how he is feeling and the mutual word was overwhelmed. I think that we just don't know what to think, and still can't believe that I have to sit around for 2 weeks. It's all worth it, we know, but these days are creeping by. Tonight I am looking forward to going to church and then some friends are bringing over take out. Tomorrow evening our small group is coming over and bringing food, I love the visitors. It gives me a break from the TV/books/staring at the walls.

All in all, it has been a great day. I have enjoyed gaszpacho (sp) that my second mother made, Jan. It is an amazing cold veggie soup...I am really trying to watch what I eat since I am hardly walking up and down the steps anymore.

Please continue to pray that the blood clot is gone by October 21st and that the baby is healthy. Love you guys.
Em

By the way I am getting the first book in the Twilight Series (thanks Sara), Kendra I may be emailing you about the Karen Kingsbury books. Thanks for all the suggestions.

Day 2

God has been so good to me during this time of rest, here are few praises I would love to share:
1. Jaci (my teaching partner) has found an incredible sub that can stay the duration of my bedrest (which will hopefully only be two weeks).
2. I have had the chance to talk on the phone to my kids both today and yesterday...and Jaci brought over all kinds of beautiful pictures they drew for me.
3. My mom and dad have been so helpful. They did laundry, cleaned my bathrooms, and brought me lunch...plus they are making my most favorite meal for me tonight. (roast, potatoes, carrots, celery, and onions). They are going to come over here and cook so I have someone to talk to.
4. I am saving up all my energy for a quick hair cut at 2:00. I took a very quick shower and immediately put my feet back up. There is nothing like having your hair done.....or sometimes I like to say getting my weave did.

These are just a few praises. I know how fortunate we are, surrounded by so many family and friends. Plus Jaci sent out an APB to the faculty and staff at TLS and I can't begin to tell you how much their responses have meant. Lot's of prayers for this precious baby. I can't wait to take them around and tell them about all of the people who prayed and love them.

My mom just got here, so I am going to go and visit. I may post again today, I mean what else do I have to do? Love you guys.
Em

Day 1

Last night I thought I would stay up late...enjoy those great shows that come on at 10:00 (that I am usually fast asleep for), but was fighting to stay awake around 9:00. I guess I did put in a half day at work, and a pretty emotional afternoon at the Doctor. I was wide awake at 12:30 this morning and in disbelief that I was actually on such strict restrictions. My mind was busy thinking, and I just couldn't calm myself down enough to fall asleep. I guess I eventually did because my poor sweet husband woke me up getting out of be at 1:30 because he couldn't sleep. We believe that God is using this experience for His glory and that He is teaching us to totally and completely lean and trust on His plan and His timing. I was reading in my book this morning Prayers for Expectant Mothers by Angela Thomas Guffey, and loved what she said....

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and laen not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5)

With that thought, I knew immediately that whatever happens, whatever my child lookslike or becomes, I will love him/her with the might love of a mother. I do trust You Lord. I trust that whatever comes, nothing will escape your careful watch. That You will render courage to the cowardly and strength to the helpless. I know that you will amaze us with Your grace.

We are so lucky to have Christ during these times when you don't know what to think. He has gone before us.....If you think of it please pray for my husband. I know that Colin is worried, and I know he doesn't say too much to protect me, but he needs some time to process this whole situation too. We are confident in this decision for me to stay home, and know that it is what is best for our sweet baby.

My mom is coming over today to help me with laundry (well do it, Thursday is my laundry day), and bring me lunch. I am so thankful that my parents are so close by and willing to help us out. God is providing......Love you guys. I am going to try and figure out how to load songs on my blog now, you have got to hear At the Cross for yourself. Love ya'll.

Em

Speechless

I am happy to report that we got to see all of our dear friends at Dr. Butler's office today. I have missed all of them so much. Jennafer greeted us with a big bag of goodies for expecting parents, we shared pictures, and talked through medical history. Then things shifted a wee bit. Dr. Butler came in and asked a lot of questions about my bleeding, cramping, and ultrasounds that showed the blood clot. He then proceeded to say that he was going to rock our world with some suggestions to carry on this healthy baby. He said NO WORK for at least two weeks....no work? I looked at Colin, hoping that I heard Dr. Bulter correctly...did he just say no work, no precious little five year olds, no awesome Kindergarten team, no TLS? Then he said really, you should rest as much as possible. You can get up to make a sandwich, go to church, grocery, and dinner occasionally, but a majority of your time will be spent on your bucket. I looked again at Colin, is this really happening. Know that I am not having second thoughts, I totally trust Dr. Butler and his team and am going to rest because I want what is best for this precious child. I am just having to change my way of thinking. For so long is has been God, family, and work....now I have to move that sweet baby before work (not a problem, just different). I have so many wonderful friends who are already planning to visit, bring books, and rest with me. God is so good. He also got me in to see Dr. Butler today.....I was going to wait a few more weeks. Again I am reminded that His ways are not my ways...His plans are not my plans. I need to figure out what I am supposed to learn over the next few weeks, or months (I can't go back to work until I stop bleeding/cramping for two straight weeks). We may also miss out on our upcoming Florida trip...which is okay, just a bummer. Please don't think I am complaining, I am just really processing what just happened a few hours ago and I guess I am really not speechless, I just don't know how to say what I am thinking. God is good, He will be glorified. As I type I am listening to one of my new favorite worship songs At the Cross, by Hillsong. The words are so comforting and I know that no matter what He loves me, and this baby more then I can ever hope and imagine. Good news....blog will be updated daily. Love you guys...enjoy the lyrics to my new favorite song (I wish I knew how to put music on my blog) .

Oh Lord You've searched me You know my way Even when I fail You I know You love me Your holy presence Surrounding me In every season I know You love me I know You love me At the cross I bow my knee Where Your blood was shed for me There's no greater love than this You have overcome the grave Your glory fills the highest place What can separate me now You go before me You shield my way Your hand upholds me I know You love me You tore the veil You made a way When You said that it is done And when the earth fades Falls from my eyes And You stand before me I know You love me I know You love me

Em

Sweet baby Stout...9 weeks 4 days

(a shot as if you were looking down on his/her head)

(a profile shot)

Last day with Dr. Akin...

It's official....we have been released back to Dr. Butler. We are thrilled that we get to go back to our beloved OB/GYN, but sad to leave and office that has done so much for us. We took everyone cookies this afternoon as a small token of our appreciation, I mean how do you thank someone for helping you conceive a child. We are forever grateful that God placed Dr. Akin and his team in our lives (IV issues and all). We have two more pictures of the baby that I will have to post later. That little one looks just like a baby....it has flipped from the last ultrasound picture. The baby is about one inch in length and absolutely perfect in our eyes.

One prayer request. The phantom twin seems to be disappearing, but the blod clot is still there. I asked Dr. Akin what I should feel about this addition to my womb and he said concerned, not worried....what does that mean? Concerned to me seems a step up from worry, or am I just worrying too much? God only knows and the prayer is for him to remove it from my body. I just don't want to be concerned and or worried. I will post some pix of our little one tomorrow. Love ya'll.
Em

9 weeks...

(9 weeks, size of a quarter)

Thank you so much for all your comments and suggestions on finding out the sex. I have also been asking around and I believe my personality combined with my sweet hubs will force us to find out what this sweet baby's sex is. I am a HUGE planner, and although I think it would be really cool to wait and be surprised....when the time comes at 20 weeks I will be itching to find out and call him/her by their own name. We love reading our pregnancy journal every night, we have a book of prayers for expectant mothers that we also enjoy.

We go back to Dr. Akin for our final appointment tomorrow. I absolutely adore his office staff and him. They have done so much for us and been nurturing, loving, empathetic and supportive along the way. We baked them cookies and have a little card as a small token of our appreciation. We can NEVER repay them for the help they have given us.

Good news is that we have been released back to Dr. Butler, Jennifer, and Joan....our favorites! I was supposed to see them next week but Dr. Butler was going to be on vacation and I knew that for my first appointment back to their office I had to see them!! I can't wait to introduce them to Sweet Baby Stout.

Also, I attended the women's ministry event this past weekend and it was powerful. I felt so appreciated and pampered throughout the whole experience. The worship was incredible, and the stories changed my perspective. I really need to find joy in all that I do. I was especially touched on Friday night when a young women shared her journey with her sweet daughter Audrey Caroline. You must check it out yourself. I will worn you....be prepared to sit for a while, cry, and be touched! I love you peeps.

http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/

Em

Pink or Blue?

(this pink pacifier is for my dad, who thinks it is most definately a girl)
Friends,

I am asking for your opinion. I honestly think I know which way I will go, but I love to hear your thoughts and ideas. Should we find out what we are having or be surprised? I know that it would be much more convenient for showers, nursery, etc to know....but there is a part of me that thinks it would be really cool not to know until we see our babies sweet face (well not face, but you get the idea). Thoughts? What would you do, or what have you done?

Em