Favorites so far...

This bedding would be for either a boy or girl. We LOVE all the chocolate brown and swirls. We would add pink or blue depending on the sex (or both :) We would purchase chocolate brown furniture for this nursery bedding.

I found this at Pottery Barn Kids and LOVE it. It also has a really cute swirl glider (that matches the bumper) that goes with it. If we have a sweet baby girl, this might be it accompanied with black furniture.

Girlfriends Guide...

I shared the news with my kids on Friday at school right before lunch. We eat family style around three different tables and I get to sit with 7 little ones everyday. One of the kiddos at my table looked at me and said, "Mrs. Stout, I think you are having twins!" He then told me I needed to name one Lily and I can't remember the other one, but there would be a boy and a girl. Out of the mouthes of babes! My guy is there is one little bun, but we will be happy to have whatever.

Yesterday we spent the day at the lake with family and friends. It was HOT! I started on the boat and it was just too plum hot and ended up on the deck reading my book, "The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy." If you are expecting it is a must read. (thanks Kristin). Colin and I got home around 9 last night and I was exhausted.

Today we are heading to church at 10:00, lunch and then Colin and I are going to look at baby stuff. I have been so excited to show him some of the stuff I like and see what he thinks. My sweet husband wants EVERYTHING camouflauge (sp), and I don't know if that is going to work. We shall get something camo for sure...maybe a onesie or pj's??

We love you guys, we are feeling great and still floating on cloud nine.

Tears of joy...

I was wide awake early this morning (2:30) and just laid in bed thanking God for giving us this opportunity to be parents. We know that this is His child/children and He is giving them to us to raise, love, and grow in Him. I just kept thinking fearfully and wonderfully made, that is what is going on in my belly.



Yesterday was a roller coaster of a day. I woke up early to get to Dr. Akin's office for my bloodwork. I knew the earlier I got there the earlier I would get to call and see if I was preggers. I walked out from having my bloodwork around 8:30 and you won't believe this went through Chick Fil-A and they were giving out FREE chicken minis....could this day get any better? Oh but it can....

I got to school with a belly fully of chicken minis (and a baby, just didn't know it yet) and was so incredibly busy with the kiddo's I didn't look at the clock until 10:45 (well maybe a few times). When we came in from the playground I told Jaci (my team teacher) that I was going to make "the call." Gayle had told me 2-3 hours and I had waited 2 hours and 15 minutes. We have this huge storage closet next to our classroom that has a door and a phone inside. I shut the door and dialed the number to Dr. Akin's office, they transferred me to Gayle. Gayle answered the phone and told me she had my results, pause, you should go to Baby Gap or Gymboree, or just go to both because you are pregnant! I started crying, I was so happy! I couldn't believe she was telling me, Emily Stout, that I WAS PREGNANT. After we both stopped blubbering on the phone (Gayle cried with me) she told me my levels were at 300 and they were high but she couldn't tell me if we had multiples until our first ultrasound on September 15th.

I immediately called my husband and told him the news through tears. He was so full of joy. There just wouldn't have been any way to hear the news together....so a phone call still conveyed my joy and I could tell he was elated! The plan was to send my mom and dad pink and blue carnations with a card that said "Worth the wait! Can't wait to meet you Grandma and Grandaddy. Love, Baby Stout." However things did not go according to planned. I emailed the TLS teachers forgetting that one of them is dating one of my dad's good friends from high school. So my sweet dad found out via text from his buddy. He called Colin and asked what the heck was going on and they cried together over the phone knowing that God had answered ALL of our prayers. (I would have had to call the flowers were not delivered until 5:00).

I left school at 3:00 and went straight to my mom and dads house. We hugged and cried...again and just talked about all of the emotions. I looked at my mom and said "let's go look at baby stuff." She was off the couch in less than 2 seconds and we were out the door. We looked at baby furniture, bedding, and maternity clothes. Did you know they put little bellies in maternity dressing rooms to try on clothes...I almost took a picture (you would have thought she is having six if she is that big at 4 weeks).

After shopping mom and I met Colin, and the rest of my family and extended family at Saul Good for a celebratory dinner. It was the perfect night! We just can't stop smiling. We love you guys and are heading to the lake tomorrow. Sunday I have a cute story about what one of my kinders said today. Happy 3 Day weekend! It couldn't have come at a better time.
Em

Pregnant!!

Friends,

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your prayers, encouragement, and love during these past few months. Our prayers have been answered because today we found out we ARE pregnant! Praise God. We just got home from a celebration dinner with family and friends and are ready for some down time together. I will blog tomorrow about the phone call, and day in general. We are on cloud nine and so thankful God has entrusted us with a wee little baby.
Em and Colin

Here we go....

Guys, this is it, pregnancy test eve. I have much of the same feelings that I used to have as a kid before Christmas morning. Excitement (pray I sleep), anxiousness (am I going to get what I want), and love (when I wake up in the morning, Colin will be by my side). My sweet husband has agreed to do some blogging this evening and we will post again late tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully we will be out and about sharing some good news with family and friends. We love ya and are SO thankful for ALL of your prayers.

Em

Ok, so here it is from a man's perspective.

I've taken a lot of tests in my day. Grade school, middle school, high school (many of these I cheated through) and college. Through all of my test taking, none of them involved urine and they definitely never cost so much. So, in order to try to relate to my wife, I developed a man's version of a pregnancy test. It is actually completed in essay form.

Here it goes:
1.) Did you have sex?...Yes. However, I actually had sex about two-thirds fewer times than I brag about.

2.) Was the sex amazing?...Of course!

3.) During the month did you eat properly?...Yes, waffle house, white castle, hot dogs from speedway, and diet coke.

4.) During the month did you exercise?...Yes, Covered hundreds of miles via hunting videos, watched some UFC (actually got out of my chair twice during one fight), and climbed the stairs 4,000 times fetching odds and ends for my wife. Why is it that every time she needs something it is always on the other floor?!?!

5.) Positive or negative result from woman's test?...If positive, forget about question 1. If negative, repeat step 1.

All in all this process has been a little more complicated, but the man's perspective is still the same. I'm very scared for the outcome.

Scared that it'll be positive, and scared that it'll be negative. For more reasons than in my "Man's test" above.

Even though I'm scared I know both Emily and I are very excited also.

We appreciate all of the prayer and support through all of this. We'll keep you posted on the outcome.

Love

Em and Colin

1 more day...

Technically there is one day, ONE standing between me and possible pregnancy. I don't know what to write...I have walked through each scenario fifty times in my head. I have had some crazy dreams about taking pregnancy tests, and I am just praying that this works! I know that God has given me a peace that passes all understanding over the past two weeks. I have been busy, busy, busy and I am honestly just ready to know!

Colin and I have a plan for Thursday. We are going to wake up early and take a home test together. I will then go directly to Dr. Akin's office for bloodwork and three hours later we are going to three way call to Gayle and hopefully find out we are preggers! We shall see, only God knows and ulitmately He has the best plan, best timing, and best way to make us parents. We shall keep you posted....

Em

5 days...

God has been so good to me over the past 9 days and really kept me busy and my mind off of THIS Thursday. We have been busy with work, family, friends, and spending time together. Yesterday was great, Colin and I had lazy day and didn't do a thing. (not today, grocery, cleaning, etc). Last night we went to Nate and Stef's house and had dinner with the Ranson's and a new guy on staff at SCC, Dan. Most of us hung out and watched the Olympics (so sad it is over tonight), and Nate and Colin redid the trim in the Head's bathroom. They did a great job. They refused a photo op.

Anyway, we are down to the week, like I take a test THIS week, on THIS Thursday....I will know if I am pregnant! I keep stumbling on the scripture in Phillipians that states: "Don't be anxious about ANYTHING!" OK Lord, I will trust you and when I become anxious pray that you take that away, I can't imagine doing this without Him (and my sweet hubs, family, and friends). Thanks again for the prayers.
Em

Opportunity....

(This is a picture of Michelle Frank from Southlands website, link below, she is the Women's Minister at Southland and AMAZING!)
I just got off the phone with my friend Leigh who is on staff at Southland and helps coordinate Replenish, a monthly event for women. Replenish is an amazing evening full of worship, conversation, and community for all ages. I have loved attending this event each month and usually get there early to greet everyone. Today Leigh was calling because she wants me to tell my story during the September event. I was so excited when I hung up the phone with her and intend to talk to Colin and pray about what I should do. The kicker is, it could go either way right now. I could be pregnant and it would be exciting to share my story of infertility, finally with the result of being a mom OR I could test negative this week and have a different story to share. Either way, I know God is writing this story....I just want to be sure I have the strenth to share no matter what the ending is. Please pray that God give me a peace about sharing....I love ya.



Em



By the way...here is the link to Women's Ministry at Southland, the retreat is in October and it should be FUN!



http://www.southlandchristian.org/sub.php?id=92

Cutest Kids EVER!

Well I now have the first day officially under my belt. It went really well and our class of twenty-two is precious. I didn't sleep well last night anticipating their little personalities and different interactions with parents, and it all went great! I just LOVE meeting each little kinder in the morning and how they get REALLY excited about everything. Tomorrow we have one more half day and then Monday our full days begin. I have put the link to my schools website. Check it out....I LOVE my job.

www.thelexingtonschool.org

Not much on the baby thing today, I have been so busy I really haven't had much time to do anything but school, sleep, and eat (maybe the eating too much!). However, one week from today I could be looking at a positive pregnancy test....let's hope!!

Em

Big News!!

We got a call from Dr. Akin's office today and they were able to freeze three embryos! We are thrilled and know that all of this is in God's plan and look forward to seeing how it all plays out. Praise God!

Back to School

Well yesterday was our first official day back to school. We had a few meetings, CPR, and some time in our classrooms. I was at school from 8-5 and then got to go celebrate Jessica's birthday at Mellow Mushroom at 7:00. We had a blast eaten these incredible pretzels and hanging out. I loved it! I was home and in bed by 9:00. I think asleep a few minutes past 10....and it was really hard to get up this morning....day 2. I am sure I will adjust to my new schedule, and not miss any part of sleeping in, frequent naps, lunches out.....it is all worth it when I meet these little kinders, which I will today. We have a few meetings this morning, some more time in our rooms and at 4:00 classroom visits, followed by our back to school picnic. I love the fall, I love the beginning of the year, and I LOVE my job. I am so very fortunate to be friends with the women I work with, we know how to get things done and we know how to have fun!

I have been feeling great. Dr. Akin said that the embryos would implant 3-4 days after he placed them in....so here's hoping they are taking up residence right now! It was fun to go into school yesterday and show off the picture of my three little embryos. Everyone is thrilled and SO supportive! I am off.....kids tomorrow and Friday for half day and our first full day/week is next week. So thankful for Labor Day weekend....I always need a little catch up day around that time.

Love ya'll

Delight

I forgot to mention yesterday that Dr. Akin and his crew are going to keep their eye on our remaining embryos. We have six left (five 2's, and one 3). He said that they could fluctuate this week to weaker to stronger or vice versa. We will know on Thursday if we will have any to freeze or not.

Today was my last day of sleeping in. School officially starts tomorrow with meetings, dinners, classroom visits, picnics, etc. I am so ready! I am so thankful that I am going to be busy over the next two weeks and not constantly watching for Thursday, August 28th. I am so excited about the idea of taking a pregnancy test, I just don't want to be consumed with it. After all, on Thursday I will have 22 little five year olds who are going to need my undivided attention. I can't wait to meet my little Kinders! I will try to post every other day, I just don't know what life is going to be like in the working world again.

Thank you for all the prayers (across the ocean too). We love you guys, and are so thankful that you are also crying out to God on our behalf. We love you.

Psalm 37:4

4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Trifecta

After awaking at 5 am blogging, then cleaning the house, and preparing some biscuits for Colin I hopped in the shower in anticipation of our 7:45 appt with Dr. Akin. We were the first "customers" of the morning. We were taken back to the same room where we had the infamous IV issues, but today it was putting on a paper gown that was tough for me. I ripped one gown straight down the middle and then the other at my arm. Wow, really? After the gown issues, Dr. Akin came in with the results and rankings of our 11 embryos. They were ranked 1-4, 1 considered dead, 2 low possibility of success, 3 moderate success, 4 high success in pregnancy. Here are how the baby Stout embryos were laid out.

2-1's

5-2's

3-3's

1-4

We were sad to see the low numbers, but immediately remembered God was in control and it was an answered prayer. Next we had to decide how many to implant. Dr. Akin stated if you were a rule follower we should implant two, and if you travel 10 miles over the speed limit, three. I told him he was looking at one of each. I was convinced that we should do two and Colin really felt like we needed to do three. Dr. Akin left the room for us to chat, and eventually Colin twisted my arm and we went with three. The good Dr. brought in a picture of all three of our little embryos, (that is now hanging on our fridge), and led us back to the room. Colin was allowed to come with me today and it was a very simple, pain free procedure. What was really cool was that they had an ultrasound on my belly so we could see the little embryos inside. One flew immediately up to the top of my uterus and Dr. Akin made a comment about that one beinga rowdy boy. (let's hope!!)

Our percentages of getting pregnant with one baby is 70%, twins 40%, and triplets 10%. We are thrilled with these numbers, and rest assure that if we are to become pregnant it will happen in God's timing. Gayle looked at us as we left and said....you are pregnant right now, let's just hope they implant and stay around 9 months. :) We love ya.

Em

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

(This is a single cell embryo, not ours, but we will be getting pictures of the ones they implant today.)


Friends, I have been up since 5:00 and didn't get to sleep until around 1:00, the Olympic swimming didn't help much on calming me down.....I get so nervous watching all of the events. I also think that I have a lot on my mind. Our lives could (and hopefully) will change because of today. We have prayed for this for over three years, and to be so close is so, so exciting. We sat in bed last night and read through Psalm 139 together:

Psalm 139 (New International Version)

Psalm 139 (The Message)
The Message (MSG)
A David Psalm

1-6 God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I'm an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I'm never out of your sight. You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you're there, then up ahead and you're there, too— your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful—I can't take it all in!

7-12 Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight? If I climb to the sky, there! If I go underground, you're there! If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon, You'd find me in a minute— you're already there waiting! Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I'm immersed in the light!" It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you;night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you.

13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.

17-22 Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful! God, I'll never comprehend them! I couldn't even begin to count them—any more than I could count the sand of the sea. Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you! And please, God, do away with wickedness for good! And you murderers—out of here!—all the men and women who belittle you, God, infatuated with cheap god-imitations. see how I hate those who hate you, God, see how I loathe all this godless arrogance; I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred. Your enemies are my enemies!

23-24 Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong—then guide me on the road to eternal life.

God's word is truth and I believe every bit of that passage. He already knows, Lord please make my hearts desire the very same as your desires. Please take away these anxious, overwhelming thoughts, let my strength be in you and you alone. You love us (and those sweet little embryos)more than we can ever imagine, and how intimately does he know us? He knows every hair on our heads and out of ALL creation He was pleased with all of us. Lord give us a peace that passes all understanding, and continue to go before us, push us, carry us, and protect us. We trust you!

If you don't think that God has a sense of humor....check out what was on Yahoo's homepage when I opened it up this morning. Hilarious!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080816/ap_on_re_mi_ea/egypt_septuplets

Every family has a story....

Colin and I went to bed last night making predictions about how many embryos we would have this morning. In our small minds we have always had our own end number...three. I think that three was the number that was most convenient to us, and easiest for our lifestyle...however, God has bigger plans for us (hopefully). The embryologist called around 10:30 this morning and said that all eleven of our embryos were dividing and thriving. I about dropped the phone...I mean really, 11? God are you crazy...what are you thinking? We went into this with the intention of going back for each and every little embryo to give them a chance at life. Here is the deal, if tomorrow we decide to implant three, most likely not all three will implant (but God could want us to start off with triplets, only He can see). That would leave 8 in the lab where we would freeze them. After a few years, we would go back and implant three more (no guarantee of three, but a possibility), leaving us with 5 and so on....do you see what I see....pregnancy for the next decade? Please don't take this as complaining, we are so thankful and blessed, just a wee bit overwhelmed. We have to trust that He already knows how many baby Stout's will be running around. It might be that this time none implant.....who knows? All I know is that God has been so good to us thusfar and literally answered soooo many prayers. Colin and I are humbled by his graciousness and looking forward to the possibility of parenthood. I am posting a picture of a memory wall I have made in my dining room. The pictures are centered around a quote that I just recently fell in love with: "Every Family has a Story...." You will see post-its and such as it is still under construction, but as my mom and I were working on the wall she joked that we may need to invest in quite a few more frames for the family.

Habakkuk 1:5

The Lord’s Reply 5 The Lord replied,
“Look around at the nations; look and be amazed! For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn’t believe even if someone told you about it."

I received this scripture from a friend who I have not seen in years. She had read our blog and she and her husband had walked through infertility too. She said that the scripture above helped them through their journey. I love it!

No pain, no gain

Well, looks like my husband definately has a future in blogging, he was hilarious, pictures were a little risque, but all in all he did a great job depicting our day. I do not remember much of it, mainly because I slept and slept and then slept some more. I had some visitors come by to love on me. My mom spent the day with me since Colin had some important meetings at the office. She fixed me a bagel, sprite, rice, and potato salad (thanks Leann). Then Jan, Kristin, and Will came over to hang out. We all piled in my bed this time and laughed at Will. He is the cutest darn kid ever. After they left Nakada came over and brought me the cutest note and make-up bag from Polka Dots. Love it! Then Kendra brought us dinner. It was delicious, all I could really partake in was the rice because right around dinner things started going south for me. (Kendra, my mom, dad and Colin LOVED the meal, thank you so much!)

I don't know if the pain medicine caught up with me but around 5:30 I was hugging the porcelin God. Right about the same time my brother and Whitney came to visit. I felt terrible, literally because Mac has such a hard time with all this medical stuff and then he comes to visit (with beautiful orange gerber daisy's) and I am letting loose. I felt tons better after I got "it" out of my system and was able to take my steroids and antibiotic without loosing them. I slept great until about 1 am and shot out of bed like it was 8 in the morning. I guess that is what happens when you sleep for a full day.

Eventually I did fall back asleep and got up with morning with not pain. I had switched over to extra strength tylenol after my issue with the pain meds. I walked downstairs and got me some yogurt and about an hour later.....stomach pains again. Not from the procedure, the kind you get when you feel like you are about to toss your cookies....again! I have talked to Gayle and she has oh so kindly called me in some meds to help with my issue. Thanks for the prayers....oh....and the most important part...our babies. Yes they are now embryos, and we have eleven sitting in a lab over on Palumbo drive. We lost 5 overnight, and I am assuming a few more will fail to split and won't make it to implantation. Right now it is looking like we may have to freeze a few. We are greatful that God is in control and He has a plan for each of these little guys/gals. I know that I worry about how many are there, but I also know that God is in charge. Thanks for the prayers....we are hoping that we will implant on Sunday, if not then on Tuesday. If we did Sunday I would not have to miss any school!!

Sex, Drugs, and...IVF?!?

I'm sure most of you know that Emily is a little under the weather today because of the big extraction procedure. Therefore, the update today comes from yours truly, Colin Wade.

Essentially, Emily and I had medically assisted intercourse today. I don't think it was the best ever but I still wanted to smoke a cigarette afterwards.

Today was the culmination of many months of preparation, prayer, thoughts, shots, and CASH!!

All started out ok...we were both on time, the staff was friendly, the sun was shining, the facility was wonderful.

Emily and I chatted in the waiting room, joked about "John and Kate Plus 8" (this is a common joke amongst many IVFers) and were called back right on time.

All was right amongst the Stouts. Until it came time for the IV.

The nurse gave Emily some numbing medicine and proceeded to poke and probe her like a pin cushion trying to get the IV started.

Left hand not working....let's try the right hand!

More numbing medication, tie the rubber band tighter, pump the fist, smack the veins....nothing!

At this time Emily starts to become clammy and sweaty. She tells me that her ears are ringing and she feels like she is about to pass out. The doctors rush in, put her feet up, rub alcohol under her nose and try to calm her down.

Emily finally gets calmed down...whew!...bring in another nurse to try to put the IV in!

More numbing medicine, tie the rubber band in a different spot, pump the fist, smack the veins...NOTHING!

Here we are, many thousands of dollars spent, hormones and medicine pumped into my wife's body, many nights of tears and anxiety, AND IT IS COMING TO A HALT OVER AN IV!!

All was not lost, the anesthesia doctor got Emily calmed down, and proceeded to get the IV started himself. Good stuff!

Next step...extract eggs!

I read in Farming Weekly that an average farm hen can produce between 10-12 eggs in a week.

With the help of modern medicine, my wife has set a new world record of 17 eggs in a day!

That's right, the doctors extracted 17 eggs today and were very confident and optimistic about the future. The only problem with getting 17 eggs is we have to pay the doctor overtime!

Here is an actual picture of the doctor still counting the eggs at 6:00pm. 1...2.....3......4....

Next step...extract sperm! WOOHOO!

We all know how this is done. I had a handle on this. (pun intended, no pictures needed for this section of blog)

Finally, mix egg and sperm. This is where we are right now. Hopefully we will receive a phone call tomorrow verifying that we have several succesful fertilizations! Until then, I will leave you with a picture of the egg and sperm "mixologist".

All in all everything went great today. Thanks for all of the support, thoughts and prayers.

Until tomorrow...

Love

Emily and Colin

Test...

I am showing my sweet hubs the ropes of blogging...no worries Leigh :)

Ouch!

My mom, me, Jan (my second mom), and Kristin (the injector) at my 30th surprise party.




When Gayle called on Monday she instructed me to inject the HCG shot at 10:45 pm on Tuesday. This is a very time specific shot, but what you don't realize is this shot required mixing and I didn't feel comfortable messing with it...especially with the importance. (see below from Dr. Akin's website)

When the eggs are mature, you will be instructed to take the hCG injection at a specific time. This injection is timed about 34 hours before the egg retrieval. The timing of the hCG injection is critical and if it is given at the wrong time, pregnancy may not occur.

So it was time to call in my friend Kristin, the nurse. She was all about helping me out, but NEVER stays up late nights before she has to work. (She works 6am-6pm at an ER here in town). So at around 10:00 Colin and I called her and told her we were on our way to her house, mainly because we kept dosing off at home. I was scared that all of us would sleep through this important injection. Kristin was upstairs in her room when we got to her house. We all piled in her bed (Matt her hubs is in Vegas on "business") and watched the Olympics until 10:40. At 10:40 she started mixing. I decided to have her do this injection in my belly, if it is that important I don't want it to have too far to go. Man oh man...did it sting and is it still sore today. I just got off the website for Dr. Akin and it talked about 5% of patients get ovarian hyperstimulation...me being oh so hypochondriac-ish is thinking...I have a twisted ovary...see for yourself...

Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome occurs in 5% of patients. Approximately 5% of patients undergoing ART will develop ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. This occurs when the ovaries are extremely sensitive to the fertility medication and become quite enlarged and swollen. If this occurs, most patients are successfully treated at home on bed rest, but rare patients have to be hospitalized. One value of the blood estrogen testing and vaginal sonograms is that individuals at high risk for developing this hyperstimulation syndrome can be identified. Rarely, enlarged ovaries can become twisted (ovarian torsion) which may require surgical removal.

I need to get over that....I am going to head over to school today to do some finishing touches in our classroom. I don't think that I am planning on doing much but resting this weekend. I don't know if I will post tomorrow...maybe I will have Colin do it, especially since we will know how many eggs Dr. Akin retrieved. Each day following retrieval the embryologist will call and update us on our wee embryos. The implantation will be three or five days after retrieval, which means Sunday or Tuesday.

Please continue praying that God be the physician tomorrow and that He work through our lives and be glorified in this story...His story. We love ya.

Blown Away...

“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

I opened up bible gateway this morning to spend some time in Haggai. I went to Replenish (womens worship service at church) last night honestly not even knowing there was a book in the bible called Haggai. Sorry. But left last night really appreciating this piece of truth from the bible:

'Be strong, O Joshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest. Be strong, all you people of the land,' declares the LORD, 'and work. For I am with you,' declares the LORD Almighty. 5 'This is what I covenanted with you when you came out of Egypt. And my Spirit remains among you.

Do not fear.' Haggai 2:4-5

What I feel like God is telling me is my body is a temple to glorify Him. I have been given more than enough just through His sacrifice on the cross. That is enough...I can live a life full of joy knowing that He died for me...He knows me intimately, and He LOVES me. That is more than enough. Everything else, my home, family, husband, friends is just an overflow of HIS love. In Haggai He is encouraging us to remain strong through each day, that HE IS WITH US joy and pain, sun and rain, and not to fear for He loves us and wants what is best for us. We must realize that at times what is best for us may not be what we think we need. No matter what happens Thursday, nothing can take Christ away from me. Nothing can change the way He feels about me, I am his precious daughter and He is proud of me (I hope). He has walked in front of me, He covers me, He knows me. I am so thankful and blown away that God knows and loves me. What more could I want or need?

I am off to school to finish things up before Thursday. Love ya'll.

YES!

Friends.....what a day! I have been anxiously awaiting Gayle's call and it just came in five minutes ago. Things looked great on my ultrasound this morning, I had fourteen follies (potential eggs) and they measured three out of the fourteen. I don't know what that means. They couldn't give me my retrieval time until they checked my estrogen levels in my bloodwork. I have been busy with school stuff but would be lying if I told you I haven't been watching the clock. In fact, I dialed up Dr. Akin's office at about 3:55 and hung up....I needed to be patient. Five minutes later....the call came in, what was said during this call you might ask???

Praise God, he has listened to our prayers and answered yet again....He is so good. I am tearing up typing this. We go in for retrieval on Thursday at 9:15. I have one more set of shots tonight and then the big dog, HCG shot tomorrow specifically at 10:45 pm. Thank you so much for all of your prayers and encouragement. I am honestly speechless and so thankful for God's plan and timing. We trust that He has placed each little follie. He is in control of this and so much more.

Now I am nervous about this retrieval procedure. I am knocked out and won't remember a thing, but I am never enthusiastic about needles (I have grown to appreciate them). Please pray for peace and trust that God is the one doing the retrieving through Dr. Akin on Thursday.


Love ya'll,
Em

Chef Stout...

This was the appetizer Colin prepared for us tonight....crab and tomato napoleon....it was AWESOME. Followed by a great chicken and portabella mushroom dish, he is SOOO good to me. I love you babe.

D Day

What a great weekend! Colin and I have layed low and really just enjoyed time together. Friday night we had so much fun with some guys from Colin's work out at The Kentucky Horsepark. We cooked out, played cornhole, and ate way too much. On Saturday, we had lazy day, we watched the Olympics, took a nap, and then headed out to church. After church we got carry out from Tony Romas with the Ranson's and the Head's. We stayed up way too late chatting about how to solve the world's problems and watching the Olympics. Today, I woke up early and took a walk with my baby buddies. It was such a beautiful morning and good to catch up with my girls. This afternoon Colin has been busy preparing a nice dinner for us. I don't know what he has up his sleave, but you know I went down to peek at what he may be cooking. All I saw was asparagus, crab, and some big ol mushrooms. Who knows? I am just happy to be pampered and loved on.

Tomorrow is our big day. It is our last ultrasound and round of bloodwork (unless they schedule me for a Saturday retrieval, then I will have to go one more time midweek). If everything looks good, we will get a call tomorrow afternoon with a day and time of retrieval.....which is considered the day of conception, two weeks from this day we test....wow!! I have been having some sharp pains in my abdomen, I am sure it is my little follies growing, right? I will keep you posted about this week. Please pray that God continue to do His work in our lives....if His will is for us to have a ton of kids running around, let it be. If it is one sweet Stout, good deal. We just want to be parents. We also want God to be glorified in this process, it is not about us. Love you guys.

Em

Answered prayer.....

Quick note...God is SOOOO good...he heard the prayers and He listened and it is actually what we had wanted, we agreed! Gayle just called and said that the bloodwork looked really good and I could DECREASE (did you see that?) DECREASE the Follostim. Praise the Lord. Thanks for praying friends.
Em

Follies.....

Taylor was a little freaked out that she may not be the "only" child much longer...

Last night we got to go out to dinner with some great friends, Leigh and Aaron. Leigh is the queen of blogging so I asked her about some cool kid blog lingo.....hence the "follies." I learned last night that this was the hippest way to speak of your follicles, otherwise known as potential eggs. Thanks Leigh for helping a sister out!

Well, woke up around 6:30 feeling like it was Christmas morning, sooooo excited! I just knew that God had been doing something inside of me. I am just depending on Him day by day....joy and pain, sun and rain. Again, my sweet mom agreed to go with me a sit in the waiting room. She is the best! When I got there one of my friends was there and she had obviously already been back for her bloodwork. We caught up on how injections were going, and how excited we were about the upcoming days. She was then called back for her ultrasound. I was still in the waiting room when she came out and told me she had six follies. She said they couldn't get a good look at her left ovary.....but I was so excited for her. It only takes one and she had SIX!

Then, it was my turn. I had bloodwork first and had been hydrating my body to help my veins. It wasn't too bad, and quicker than last time. I went back out to the waiting room, and then I heard it....my name..."Emily Stout." I was trying to get email addresses from my two friends and literally dropped everything and went back to the room. (Thank goodness my mom was there to oversee emails and watch my purse). Dr. Akin did my ultrasound today, and he seemed happy. I can't see the screen at his office, all I could see was his face and Gayle writing notes on my chart. They both kept saying....this is good, a little small....but good, looks good.

The final count as of this morning was.....on the right ovary; EIGHT, and on the left ovary; FOUR. So that means I have TWELVE follies inside my little body right now. My dad says I have a soccer team in my belly (and 1 sub). Here is the deal with the follies. Dr. Akin said that they were small and there will be changes by Monday meaning some of the 12 probably won't make it. If they retrieve 10 next week, a few more won't make it. After they create the embryos a few won't make it.....I am thinking that we will probably end of the 3-4 good embryos...but who knows? My desire is to have a baby and last time I checked you needed one good egg and a good stout sperm.....we can handle that.

This weekend we are having a special date night on Sunday. We are going to celebrate our journey so far and pray for this next week. Thanks for all your prayers, bible verses, and encouragement.....we are about three weeks from a test.

Em

Happy Thanksgiving?

Well, it finally happened....I had a little breakdown on Tuesday night. I had had a great day busy at school, lunch with Jaci, Liz, and my momma, a good nap and then it just happened. Colin and I were upstairs getting my shots together and I have no problem with the Lupron shot...it's cake. But the big blue pen really bothers me. The amount of liquid that goes into my leg is comparable to the amount of marinade we inject into our turkey at Thanksgiving. As I held the shot towards my leg all of these doubts began flooding my mind: What if this doesn't work? Why are you doing this? You can't get pregnant. You will never be a mom. (and so on) My sweet husband took the shot out of my hands and wrapped me up in a BIG hug. He is so good to me, he comforted me and just let me cry. We talked a little bit more and then I did the big blue and it really wasn't too bad. I told satan right then and there he had no place in this fight....and I am holding onto Jeremiah 29:11...God already knows the plan.

Yesterday I was busy with laundry, cooking (you do not want the recipe I have for hot potato salad that my lifegroup endured last night...sorry guys), and cleaning the house. It was a great night with good friends, food, and fun. (of course a little bit of Rock Band). My friend Leann gave me my shots last night in my arm and gave my poor bruised legs a break. Tomorrow I go back to the doctor for another ultrasound and some bloodwork. They will call me tomorrow afternoon based on the results and hopefully cut back on the amount of big blue (follistim). I went on a walk with my friend Kristin this morning and as we were talking realized potential pregnancy is right around the corner. Few prayer requests.....

*This one may sound dumb but I am really struggling with self image right now. I am not comfortable in my skin and know that pregnancy somehow doesn't make you feel thin.
*I could be scheduled for retrieval next Thursday, Friday, or Saturday....please pray for Thursday morning, this would allow me to take a good few days off before school and not miss any days with the kids.
*For Colin, he has been my rock during this but I realize that he is on the roller coaster with me. Pray that God give him a peace about the situation and that he can continue to deal with his hormonally charged wife.

Love you guys....
Em

Cart before the Horse

So last night I added the Follistim shot to my already daily dose of Lupron. My friend Nakada is a pro at the Follistim shots (she is expecting twins in February), and she offered some instruction and moral support in this new injection. It reminds me of an eppie pen, but a wee bit more expensive. The needle wasn't too bad it was the amount of medicine I had to inject into my leg. It seemed like I was pushing down FOREVER! It left a pretty nice bruise too. I stay on both shots until my appointment this Friday, and hopefully they will cut back on the amount of Follistim I have to put into my body. I am still having headaches, but can function normally throughout the day with an Alleve.

My mom and I had to go to Babies R Us today to buy a couple of gifts for upcoming showers and I couldn't help but look around a little bit. I found some really, really cute bedding, some camouflauge stroller, pack and play, and carseat (for Colin), and other little things. I am putting the cart before the horse, but it sure was fun! I will let you know tomorrow if I get a matching bruise on the other leg....it's totally worth it!

Em

How old are you?

What a day! I woke up early this morning so that I could get to Dr. Akin between 8 and 9 for my ultrasound and bloodwork. God was so good and gave me a great nights sleep, even when my head and heart were very anxious. I constantly have to cling to Phillipian 4:6,

6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

It was really cool to walk into Dr. Akin's office this morning and see a few of the other girls I had met last week at our education class. We talked about who did our shots, side effects, and just the excitement of the next few weeks. I need to get their names/emails so I can keep in touch after IVF. Our nurse Gayle said she could not tell us who had successful pregnancies after this process. I was called back for blookwork first and met a really nice lady (I can't remember her name, Christa). We somehow got on the subject of Dr. Butler and realized we were both blessed to be his patients. She told me about a time she had a miscarriage and how he really ministered to her and loved on her throughout the process. She metioned how good God had been during that time, and that she knew as hard as it was to lose that baby, it was ultimately His plan. She then told me she was also my embryologist (sp), the one who will care, nurture, and love my babies until the make it home to my womb. I just wanted to hug her after the short time we spent together. She really was a wonderful person and I can't wait to see her Friday, Monday, and over the next few weeks.

After my bloodwork, I had to have my ultrasound. Dr. Akin mentioned that residents would be doing some of our labwork, but I didn't realize he would have a 12 year old perform my ultrasound. Seriously, he did a great job, but am I getting that old. (He was probably fresh out of med school, talk about awkward). After my ultrasound I was told I needed to cut back on the shot I had been giving myself over the past week and start the Follistim tonight. (this will hopefully stimulate my follicles, and begin developing my eggs).

To keep me busy until 4:30 (if I didn't hear from Gayle and Dr. Akin today, that meant all my levels were good and I could continue on with IVF this month), I went up to Louisville with Jan and Mom for the day. I found some cute tops (that if needed could expand) at Ann Taylor Loft and enjoyed my favorite tuxedo cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory. We got home right at 4:30 and I am HAPPY to report.....no phone call! We are on. YES!! Thank you for all your prayers and encouragement, I love ya.

Em

Headaches stink!

I was down for the count yesterday. I woke up feeling great and actually went on a 45 minute walk with my friend Nakada and then did some yoga when I got home. Around 12:00 my head started pounding. I hadn't eaten anything and was beginning to get hungry when Colin called (he had gone to hand some tree stands for hunting) and offered to bring me some lunch. By the time he got home, I was sick to my stomach and having sharp pains behind my right eye. I could only eat half a sandwich and popped in an extra strengh alleve, turned off all the lights, shut my shades and closed my eyes. A few hours later I woke up feeling good enough to shower and watch some TV. It was a rough day, but not too bad considering I haven't had any side effects from my shots yet. (Migraines/Headaches are one side effect). Colin is playing at church this weekend so when he got home around 7 I felt good enought to make a few baked potatoes and sit with him.
Tomorrow is a big day! I start my ultrasounds and bloodwork every four days, along with a new shot. Leading to next Tuesday...which is when we find out our retrieval day. Please pray that I do NOT hear from Dr. Akin tomorrow. His nurse Gayle said if she has to call tomorrow it is because my estrogen levels are too low, and they will recommend bumping IVF to next month. Mom, Jan (my second mom), and I are heading to Louisville to shop at Pottery Barn and eat at the Cheesecake Factory so I don't stay glued to my phone worrying about it ringing. This is all coming together, and I can't believe that within a month I could be pregnant!

Never Let Go....

I am stuck on this song by David Crowder, and just can't get enough of it. I love the words:

When clouds veil sun

and disaster comes

oh my soul, oh my soul

When waters rise

and hope takes flight

oh my soul, oh my soul

oh my soul

Ever faithful, ever true

you are known

you never let go

You never let go, you never let go,

you never let go

When clouds brought rain

and disaster came

oh my soul, oh my soul

When waters rose

and hope had flown

Oh my soul, oh my soul

Oh my soul, overflows

oh what love, oh what love

Oh my soul, fills with hope

perfect love that never lets go

Joy and pain

sun and rain

you're the same

you never let go

I just found and watched this video on youtube and loved it. I have a very selfish attitude and tend to be so, so, so self-centered. I am consumed with me and my problems and my journey, my story and ignore others needs. God help me see with your eyes, guide me through this life with my focus less on me and more on you. Colin and I were really convicted this past weekend about serving together in the community. I need to get on that. This video is about five minutes but really worth watching.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRfcARM8OwI

Love ya!