Well, it finally happened....I had a little breakdown on Tuesday night. I had had a great day busy at school, lunch with Jaci, Liz, and my momma, a good nap and then it just happened. Colin and I were upstairs getting my shots together and I have no problem with the Lupron shot...it's cake. But the big blue pen really bothers me. The amount of liquid that goes into my leg is comparable to the amount of marinade we inject into our turkey at Thanksgiving. As I held the shot towards my leg all of these doubts began flooding my mind: What if this doesn't work? Why are you doing this? You can't get pregnant. You will never be a mom. (and so on) My sweet husband took the shot out of my hands and wrapped me up in a BIG hug. He is so good to me, he comforted me and just let me cry. We talked a little bit more and then I did the big blue and it really wasn't too bad. I told satan right then and there he had no place in this fight....and I am holding onto Jeremiah 29:11...God already knows the plan.
Yesterday I was busy with laundry, cooking (you do not want the recipe I have for hot potato salad that my lifegroup endured last night...sorry guys), and cleaning the house. It was a great night with good friends, food, and fun. (of course a little bit of Rock Band). My friend Leann gave me my shots last night in my arm and gave my poor bruised legs a break. Tomorrow I go back to the doctor for another ultrasound and some bloodwork. They will call me tomorrow afternoon based on the results and hopefully cut back on the amount of big blue (follistim). I went on a walk with my friend Kristin this morning and as we were talking realized potential pregnancy is right around the corner. Few prayer requests.....
*This one may sound dumb but I am really struggling with self image right now. I am not comfortable in my skin and know that pregnancy somehow doesn't make you feel thin.
*I could be scheduled for retrieval next Thursday, Friday, or Saturday....please pray for Thursday morning, this would allow me to take a good few days off before school and not miss any days with the kids.
*For Colin, he has been my rock during this but I realize that he is on the roller coaster with me. Pray that God give him a peace about the situation and that he can continue to deal with his hormonally charged wife.
Love you guys....
Em
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3 comments:
Father God, thank you for my sweet friend, Em, for the honest, open heart you've given her and how much her genuine love for you is an encouragement to those around her each day. Thank you for carrying her through these last several years, for continuing to hold her up when she didn't think she could take another step. We ask that in this last week of shots, ultrasounds, extractions, all that is to come, we ask that you would be exalted as the LORD WHO PROVIDES Em a healthy body, calm nerves, peace that passes all understanding, and the ability to rest in you each day. We ask for your continued favor over Em & Colin, that in just a couple of weeks, we would all get to celebrate your gift of life inside of Em! We love you and trust you!
Emily-
It has been a while. I have not talked to you in forever. I did get to see you for just a few short minutes at the hospital when I was in visiting Katie back in May. I just kind of stumbled upon your blog through someone one else's. I just thought I would let you know I will be thinking and praying for you and Colin over the next few weeks.
I don't even know what compelled me to look at your blog. But funny thing...I have a very good friend down here in GA that I met when we first moved here 2 years ago. A few months after we met them we realized that they were having trouble getting pregnant. To make a long story short, they have been trough it all, and decided to do IVF this past winter. Heidi is due December 20th and is having a precious baby boy!
I just wanted to give you some encouragement and just say to hang in there. Like I am sure you have heard, God does know the desires of your heart. Now you know that you have prayer warriors all over the country.
My favorite verse in the whole Bible is Isaiah 30:18. Check it out!
Have a great day!
Jer 29:11 has been our life-verse, also. As a matter of fact we dedicated our 2nd daughter with Jer 29:11-13. Powerful promise for a little angel's life.
I would recommend having someone else do your shots. It separates you, somehow. It helped me anyway.
And not only are the hormones raging -- trying to convince you of non-truths -- but you hit the nail on the head by recognizing that our enemy has definitely pegged your weak spots. He will do anything he can to push those buttons. Don't let him. Hold on to your promises from God.
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